There’s Something About Mary

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8 Bad Movie Dogs Who Need a Serious Shaming

Celebrate National Puppy Day with Cujo on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Stephen King’s monstrous St. Bernard Cujo is rabidly bad, as in he literally has rabies and is out to kill anything in his path. But as anyone who has ever come home to a shredded sofa, cleaned up dog vomit, or had their leg aggressively humped can tell you, there are many ways for a dog to be bad. To celebrate IFC airing Cujo for National Puppy Day, here are 10 of the baddest dogs ever to appear on a movie screen.

1. Beethoven

A decade after Cujo came this definitely friendlier St. Bernard who still managed to be almost as destructive. And the trail of wreckage Beethoven left is unbelievably long, covering 8 films over two decades…and counting. Chris, the original dog that played Beethoven, died after the second movie but the franchise was too lucrative to be put down. By the sixth installment of the Beethoven series, the storyline was rebooted to show Beethoven as a canine movie star. And along the way this dog was responsible for more property damage than any movie creature this side of Godzilla.


2. Puffy from There’s Something About Mary

The scene from There’s Something About Mary where Ben Stiller is attacked by Mary’s dog Puffy (played by a dog with the appropriate name of Slammer) is every bit as terrifying as the attacks in Cujo. Puffy more than gets comeuppance, however, and memorably ends up in a full body cast. The real Slammer was actually put in a fake full body cast for the scene, but only for about 10 seconds.


3. The Terror Dogs from Ghostbusters

“OK, who brought the dog?,” Rick Moranis asks in a scene from the original Ghostbusters right before a hell hound crashes into the room. The “dog” is actually one of a pair of demonic entities known as Zuul and Vinz Clortho. They are the Gatekeeper and the Key Master who take over the bodies of humans, and whose ritual mating turns them into horrific dog-like beasts who usher in the Sumerian god Gozer to destroy the world. That’s not the kind of misbehavior that even the Dog Whisperer can easily fix.


4. Hooch from Turner & Hooch

Hooch may have been a handful, but this bad dog was on the right side of the law. He teamed up with Tom Hanks as Turner to take a bite out of crime. The real Hooch was a Dogue de Bordeaux (which is probably French for “slobber fountain”) named Beasley. In the movie he destroyed everything Turner owned, and generated enough drool to drown the bad guys. You may be tempted to think the worst thing Hooch did was to inspire a bunch of weaker “man and dog” crime fighting movies like K-9 and Top Dog, but Turner & Hooch was actually released three months after Jim Belushi’s much more poorly received pairing with a German Shepherd.


5. Killer from Half Baked

OK, the dog Killer from the stoner classic Half Baked wasn’t really a bad dog — he just hung out with the wrong crowd. And when they turned him on to some “killer” (whoa!) weed, he ends up flying…literally. But the best part of the movie is Jim Breuer’s way-too-stoned recounting of the life and times of Killer, from his birth to a “3-legged bitch” to his later drug abuse problems. Just say “No” to drugs, doggies.


6. Milo from The Mask

Milo, the mild mannered dog of mild-mannered Stanley Ipkiss (Jim Carrey) is played by a Jack Russell terrier named Max. But when Milo dons the Mask of Loki he becomes an unholy green-faced terror, much like a canine version of what happens to Stanley. This was Max the dog’s first movie role, and some of the scenes featured Jim Carrey improvising to Max’s deviations from the script, such as when he refuses to give up a Frisbee or is unable to climb a wall to the cell where Stanley is imprisoned.


7. Zoltan, Hound of Dracula

You want to talk about a bad dog? How about Dracula’s Dog, returned after centuries of slumber to walk the Earth? He’ll turn you into a vampire AND dig up the flower garden. But at least you can teach him to roll over and play undead. This 1978 abomination is perhaps the unintentionally funniest movie on this list– it actually features a vampire puppy in what is undoubtedly the cutest moment in horror movie history.


8. Baxter, the world’s most evil dog

The murderous bull terrier from the 1989 French black comedy/psychological thriller Baxter is not merely a bad dog. In what is one of the strangest movies ever made, Baxter is a brooding, complex, and multi-layered sociopathic villain. The fact that the dog narrates his own tale (in French with subtitles!) only makes the whole thing more bizarre. This is what would happen if Cujo was directed by Luis Bunuel after a week-long absinthe binge. Imagine American Psycho with a French dog and you’ll understand why John Waters called this one of his favorite movies.

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Holiday Extra Special

Make The Holidays ’80s Again

Enjoy the holiday cheer Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Whatever happened to the kind of crazy-yet-cozy holiday specials that blanketed the early winter airwaves of the 1980s? Unceremoniously killed by infectious ’90s jadedness? Slow fade out at the hands of early-onset millennial ennui? Whatever the reason, nixing the tradition was a huge mistake.

A huge mistake that we’re about to fix.

Announcing IFC’s Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special, starring Tony Hale. It’s a celeb-studded extravaganza in the glorious tradition of yesteryear featuring Bridget Everett, Jo Firestone, Nick Thune, Jen Kirkman, house band The Dap-Kings, and many more. And it’s at Joe’s Pub, everyone’s favorite home away from home in the Big Apple.

The yuletide cheer explodes Wednesday December 21 at 10P. But if you were born after 1989 and have no idea what void this spectacular special is going to fill, sample from this vintage selection of holiday hits:

Andy Williams and The NBC Kids Search For Santa

The quintessential holiday special. Get snuggly and turn off your brain. You won’t need it.

A Muppet Family Christmas

The Fraggles. The Muppets. The Sesame Street gang. Fate. The Jim Henson multiverse merges in this warm and fuzzy Holiday gathering.

Julie Andrews: The Sound Of Christmas

To this day a foolproof antidote to holiday cynicism. It’s cheesy, but a good cheese. In this case an Alpine Gruyère.

Star Wars Holiday Special

Okay, busted. This one was released in 1978. Still totally ’80s though. And yes that’s Bea Arthur.

Pee Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special

Pass the eggnog, and make sure it’s loaded. This special is everything you’d expect it to be and much, much more.

Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special premieres Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

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It Ain't Over Yet

A Guide to Coping with the End of Comedy Bang! Bang!

Watch the final episodes tonight at 11 and 11:30P on IFC.

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After five seasons and 110 halved-hour episodes, Scott Aukerman’s hipster comedy opus, Comedy Bang! Bang!, has come to an end. Fridays at 11 and 11:30P will never be the same. We know it can be hard for fans to adjust after the series finale of their favorite TV show. That’s why we’ve prepared this step-by-step guide to managing your grief.

Step One: Cry it out

It’s just natural. We’re sad too.
Scott crying GIF

Step Two: Read the CB!B! IMDB Trivia Page

The show is over and it feels like you’ve lost a friend. But how well did you really know this friend? Head over to Comedy Bang! Bang!’s IMDB page to find out some things you may not have known…like that it’s “based on a Civil War battle of the same name” or that “Reggie Watts was actually born with the name Theodore Leopold The Third.”

Step Three: Listen to the podcast

One fascinating piece of CB!B! trivia that you might not learn from IMDB is that there’s a podcast that shares the same name as the TV show. It’s even hosted by Scott Aukerman! It’s not exactly like watching the TV show on a Friday night, but that’s only because each episode is released Monday morning. If you close your eyes, the podcast is just like watching the show with your eyes closed!

Step Four: Watch brand new CB!B! clips?!

The best way to cope with the end of Comedy Bang! Bang! is to completely ignore that it’s over — because it’s not. In an unprecedented move, IFC is opening up the bonus CB!B! content vault. There are four brand new, never-before-seen sketches featuring Scott Aukerman, Kid Cudi, and “Weird Al” Yankovic ready for you to view on the IFC App. There’s also one right here, below this paragraph! Watch all four b-b-bonus clips and feel better.

Binge the entire final season, plus exclusive sketches, right now on the IFC app.

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Everybody Sweats Now

The Four-Day Sweatsgiving Weekend On IFC

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This long holiday weekend is your time to gobble gobble gobble and give heartfelt thanks—thanks for the comfort and forgiveness of sweatpants. Because when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing more wholesome and American than stuffing yourself stupid and spending endless hours in front of the TV in your softest of softests.

So get the sweats, grab the remote and join IFC for four perfect days of entertainment.

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It all starts with a 24-hour T-day marathon of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then continues Friday with an all-day binge of Stan Against Evil.

By Saturday, the couch will have molded to your shape. Which is good, because you’ll be nestled in for back-to-back Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.

Finally, come Sunday it’s time to put the sweat back in your sweatpants with The Shining, The Exorcist, The Chronicles of Riddick, Terminator 2, and Blade: Trinity. They totally count as cardio.

As if you need more convincing, here’s Martha Wash and the IFC&C Music Factory to hammer the point home.

The Sweatsgiving Weekend starts Thursday on IFC

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