Jurassic Park III

Dino Might

The 10 Best Movie Dinosaurs

Catch a Jurassic Park movie marathon Sunday, Jan. 31st starting at 6P on IFC.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Universal/courtesy Everett Collection

“God creates dinosaurs, God kills dinosaurs, God creates man, man kills God, man brings back dinosaurs.” Those are the words of Michael Crichton, from his blockbuster 1990 novel Jurassic Park, and they would prove to be spot-on. From the dawn of movies, filmmakers have been obsessed with bringing dinosaurs back from the dead, whether with wire and clay or computer pixels. Before you catch IFC’s Jurassic Park movie marathon, check out this list of the best big screen dinos that’s 65 million years in the making.


10. Indominus Rex, Jurassic World

Legendary Pictures

Legendary Pictures

Much like the movie itself, which picked over the bones of past Jurassic Park films to create something new, Indominus Rex was something of a Frankenstein monster, combining elements of everything from Tyrannosauruses and Velociraptors to Tree Frogs and Viper Snakes. What resulted was the first genetically modified dinosaur in the franchise’s history, a hybrid that was intended to be the most kick-ass creature we’d ever seen. While “Indominus Got Next” couldn’t make us forget the thrills the franchise had once delivered, it did help Jurassic World become the third highest grossing movie ever…well, until a dinosaur of ’70s cinema called Star Wars reared its head once again.


9. King Koopa, Super Mario Bros.

Buena Vista Pictures

Buena Vista Pictures

Nintendo was still new to the movie world when they signed away the film rights to their video game hit Super Mario Bros., leading to a dystopian nightmare of a movie that owed more to Blade Runner than Donkey Kong. The push and pull between dark, adult fair and cartoon nonsense is right there on the screen, right down to a truly bizarre performance from Dennis Hopper. (As if there’s any other kind.) Playing King Koopa, a T.rex descendant who rules over an alternate dimension called Dinohattan with an iron fist, the actor goes full Hopper here, helping turn this crap-tastic movie into a camp classic.


8. Dimetrodon, Journey to the Center of the Earth

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

While the 2008 remake may have had bigger thrills (and a hunk-splosion in the form of Brendan Fraser), the 1959 original Journey to the Center of the Earth takes the cake for one reason: iguanas playing dinosaurs. (Iguanas! With weird appliances glued onto their backs!) Between actor Clifton Webb falling ill and having to be replaced, and Arlene Dahl passing out after screaming for her life during a difficult stunt, this movie seems like it was a bit of a disaster. But nothing can beat the awe-inspiring sight of a pet shop lizard with a green fin glued onto its spine.


7. Allosaurus, The Lost World

First National Pictures

First National Pictures

This 1925 silent adventure film, based on the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story, was the first movie about dinosaurs ever made. Full of effects and thrills that were unheard of at the time, it paved the way for classics such as King Kong, which wouldn’t be made for another eight years. While Brute Force, made in 1914, was the first movie to feature a dinosaur, this was the first movie to have them be the driving part of the story, and do battle with each other. And if we have to pick just one favorite, we’ll go with the feisty Allosaurus who seems to pick fights with any dinosaur it comes across.


6. Grimlock, Transformers: Age of Extinction

Paramount Pictures

Paramount Pictures

Moving up the list, it was inevitable that we’d find our way to robot dinosaurs. That’s just common sense. While the dignified dinos above could all kick some serious ass, none could transform into a 40-foot tall centurion, complete with an Energon sword used to create maximum carnage. Sure, the Transformer film franchise might not be great art, but this is a robot dinosaur people! It can shoot fire out of its mouth! It would be irresponsible to rank it any lower than 6th on this list.


5. T. Rex, Caveman

United Artists

United Artists

When the T. Rex in this 1981 Ringo Starr camp classic ate a magical fruit that worked just like cannabis, he became ravenous. Hey, we’ve all been there. That led to the inevitable question: if you were seriously stoned, which member of The Beatles would you eat? While the movie has been much derided over the years, how many dinosaurs can claim to have hung with one of the Fab Four?


4. Dino, The Flintstones

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures

Arguably the most famous dinosaur in the history of pop culture, this CGI version of The Flintstone’s dino-pooch did a decent job of capturing the original Hanna-Barbera magic. For anyone who’s ever had a beloved pet, they can relate to the special relationship Dino shares with his family. Sure, he may be single-handedly responsible for the glut of misinformation that’s out there about human and dinosaur cohabitation. But who could resist those slobbery kisses when coming home from a long day at the Slate Rock and Gravel Company?


3. Littlefoot, The Land Before Time

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures

Poor Loveable Littlefoot, a young Brontosaurus who lost his mother, and had to rely on his friends to help him make it to the “Great Valley” before all of the dinosaurs went extinct. A heartbreaking children’s movie from the minds of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, this animated classic was Bambi for kids of the ’80s. We grew up with Littlefoot, who would go on to front 13 different movies and a TV series. Sure, not all were classics, but we’ll always remember Littefoot’s mother telling him, and all of us, “let your heart guide you. It whispers so listen closely.”


2. T. Rex, King Kong

RKO Radio Pictures

RKO Radio Pictures

If you’re talking movie star dinosaurs, few are more famous than this Tyrannosaurus Rex, who turned a butt whooping at the hands of King Kong into one of the most famous scenes in movie history. This is a movie that’s been remade twice, and placed on the National Film Registry, which means that there’s a good chance aliens will be watching these two behemoths doing battle long after we’re all extinct.


1. TIE: T. Rex and Velociraptors, Jurassic Park

Universal Studios

Universal Studios

There’s just no way to pick between these two dinos, who helped turn Jurassic Park into the biggest movie of 1993, and usher in the dawn of CGI. Between the terrifying majesty of T.rex, and the slow realization that the Raptors aren’t the mindless beasts we assumed them to be, this movie mixes the taut tension of a thriller with some of the most jaw-dropping action sequences in the history of film. It’s no wonder that the climactic moment of the movie is when the T. Rex and the Raptors finally face off in a throw down for the ages.

Watch More
IFC-mark-wahlberg-ice-cube-will-smith

SAG Life

Rappers Act Up

Watch the Yo! IFC Acts Movie Marathon Memorial Day Weekend.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Courtesy of the Everett Collection and the '90s)

Memorial Day weekend: how to celebrate? Nothing quite says “screw spring—let’s do summer” like blockbuster movies starring rappers who ditched lucrative music careers in order to become actors. It happened a lot, remember? Especially in and around the ’90s. Will Smith, Eminem, Ice Cube, Ice-T, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris…icons with the hubris to try the silver screen instead and have it totally work out.

But what if more rappers had made the leap? That’s a rhetorical question—movies (and life) would’ve been better, obviously. To prove it, here are some movies that totally would’ve been more memorable with rappers.

The Godfather

Starring Biggie, not Brando.
Godfather-BIG

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Only Coolio could improve upon Gene Wilder’s performance.
Coolio-Wonka

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Billy Elliot, with a dose of Missy Elliott.
Missy-Billy-Elliott

Robin Hood: Price of Thieves

Low hanging fruit, Hollywood.
Robin-Hood-and-Lil-Jon

And of course…

Kanye-of-The-Lambs

See NONE of those movies and a whole bunch of real ones this Memorial Day weekend on IFC’s rapper-filled movie marathon.

Watch More
Brockmire-107-banner-3

Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

Posted by on
GIFs by Giphy

“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

Watch More
Mommie_Dearest-2

Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

Posted by on
GIFs via Giphy

The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

Watch More
Powered by ZergNet