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Retro Flashback

10 Helpful Instructional Videos From the ’80s and ’90s

Learn how to host a talk show tonight on Comedy Bang! Bang! starting at 11P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: YouTube

This week on Comedy Bang! Bang!, Scott Aukerman and Kid Cudi spoof ’80s instructional videos with their “How to Host a Talk Show” primer. (Even Reggie Watts gets in on the action with his “How to Band Lead” music video.) Grab your Crystal Pepsi and join us for a look back at the heyday of cheesy corporate instructional videos.

10. Grill Skill Burger Rap

It’s a shame that “meat’s got grain to it just like wood” never joined “Baby Got Back” or “Mo Money, Mo Problems” in the hip hop lexicon.


9. 1991 Nintendo Training Video

We’re not sure what “Generic ’90s Business Guy” actually did to that filthy NES system, but we’re kind of on the store clerk’s side with this one.


8. Wendy’s Cold Drinks Rap

Less of a rap and more akin to whatever Debbie Harry was doing in the Blondie song “Rapture,” this musical ode to the most efficient and cost effective way to serve cold drinks is still pretty catchy. Remember to always use the scoop to fill the cup with ice unless you want to be out of work faster than a protagonist in a Bruce Springsteen song.


7. 1990 Blockbuster training video with Buster Sales

With his cool tie and no-nonsense attitude, “Buster Sales” was the Blockbuster employee training video answer to Bart Simpson. Though there’s a good chance he exists entirely in the mind of the bored clerk in the video.


6. Windows 95 Instruction Guide with Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry

Remember when Microsoft enlisted Friends stars Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston to help explain all the radical stuff you could do with the hot new Windows ’95? Could this beeeee any more ’90s?


5. Chili Can Be Served With Cheese

The Wendy’s corporate training video production team really had all their bases covered. In case an employee forgets that you should always stir chili in a figure-eight motion, all they need to do is remember this catchy song.


4. Blockbuster’s Siskel & Ebert spoof

Critics Driscoll and Egbert review films like “Beaverton Hills Cop IV” and a black-and-white French arthouse flick directed by Francois Faux-Pas, all of which conveniently take place in Blockbuster Video stores. But it’s the staff’s commitment to customer service that really gets the thumbs up from the duo.

Things take a decidedly weird turn in part 2, where Egbert and Driscoll review a coming-of-age tale about a young boy who discovers classic cinema while creepily flirting with an adult Blockbuster employee.


3. Don’t Copy That Floppy

Thanks to this helpful rap, the kid in this video won’t be guilty of software piracy. But he is guilty of having awesome ’90s hair.


2. Kid’s Guide to the Internet

Don’t get mixed up in all that “cybernet” stuff, kids.


1. Wendy’s Hot Drinks Song

Proper beverage handling and serving guidelines have never been this funky. (Check out Reggie Watts’ take on this viral classic.)

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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