Blades of Glory

Turn Up the Thermostat

10 Memorably Frosty Movie Characters

Catch Batman Returns and Batman & Robin throughout December on IFC.

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Paramount/courtesy Everett Collection

If there’s one thing Hollywood isn’t short on, it’s ice queens (both literal and metaphorical), cold-blooded killers, and chilly villains. Like Batman & Robins Mr. Freeze, these frosty movie characters will have you reaching for the thermostat all year long. Okay, fine, Mom, we’ll go “put on a sweater”  instead! Is it getting colder in here, or is it just us?

1. Penguin, Batman Returns

In the hands of director Tim Burton and a delightfully game Danny DeVito, Oswald Cobblepot, neé Penguin, is one of the more nefarious villains Batman has faced onscreen, especially in comparison with the pun-loving Mr. Freeze of Joel Schumacher’s candy-colored Batman & Robin just five years later. He kidnaps babies and ice princesses, bites people’s noses, and pushes victims off roofs to their deaths. Oh, and he also manipulates Gotham into electing him Mayor by playing into their fears and creating mass hysteria. Fun fact: Screenwriter Daniel Waters (Heathers) specifically wrote the role for DeVito.


2. Jadis the White Witch, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe

It would be difficult not to fall under the spell of Jadis, the White Witch of Narnia; so beguiling is she when we first see her arrive in a beautiful sleigh pulled by white reindeer. We soon discover, however, Jadis is a ruthless, manipulative, tyrannical ruler who turns all who disobey her to stone and has blanketed Narnia in endless winter (“but never Christmas!”) for over a hundred years, fearing her power will be usurped in a fulfillment of a prophecy that two Sons of Adam and two Daughters of Eve will cause her great downfall. First embodied by Barbara Kellerman in the 1988 BBC television adaption, the ever transformative Tilda Swinton won raves for her portrayal in the 2005 film, simultaneously seducing and terrorizing a whole new generation of visitors to Narnia.


3. The Winter Warlock, Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town

Rankin/Bass gave us a slew of classic, occasionally bizarre (see Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July and The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus) Christmas specials during the course of their 27-year partnership (the production arm of Rankin Bass Inc. shuttered in 1987). Their 1970 special, Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town, falls squarely within the classic end of the spectrum, and its villain-turned-hero, the Winter Warlock, has become one of the more beloved stop-motion characters to appear on our television screens. Winter (voiced by Keenan Wynn), as he’s called for short, has been scaring trespassers on his lands for years before our loving hero, Kris (Mickey Rooney), melts his heart by giving him a toy train as a gift. And because this is a feel-good children’s movie, Winter learns how to be a kinder person through a highly catchy, semi-inspirational song, “Put One Foot in Front of the Other.” If only every winter could be so easily tamed…


4. Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg, Blades of Glory

The real world of figure skating has seen its fair share of campy routines and costumes, slightly creepy pairings, and outright backstabbing (Tonya and Nancy in 1994 anyone?) but conniving siblings Stanz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg (Will Arnett and Amy Poehler, respectively) of Blades of Glory might just be the creepiest and campiest of all, fictional or otherwise. With a penchant for slightly incestuous routine themes (“Forbidden Romance” featuring JFK/Marilyn Monroe), these reigning U.S. National Pairs Champions will do anything to keep same-sex pair Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell) and Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder) from taking the gold at the World Winter Sport Games, including blackmailing their little sister, Katie (Jenna Fischer) into helping them. Thanks to the perfect casting of Will Arnett and Amy Poehler, Stranz and Fairchild not only have double axels in their arsenal, they’ve got plenty of snippy one-liners, proving their tongues are just as sharp as their skates.


5. Dolores Umbridge, Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix

Depending on who you ask, Dolores Umbridge (a perfectly cast and terrifying Imelda Staunton) may be more hated than Voldemort in the Harry Potter series and not without reason. Though she dresses head-to-toe in violent shades of pink, has kitten pictures all over the walls, and says everything with a smile, make no mistake the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic turned Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher has a much darker agenda. From hating “half-breeds” to using cruel and unusual punishments against students to passing numerous “Educational Decrees” banning various types of objects and behaviors to having professors fired, Umbridge was a major source of ire for everyone at Hogwarts (except maybe Draco Malfoy). Author J.K. Rowling herself has said she feels the “purest dislike” for Umbridge. We’d say Voldemort is worse, but we “must not tell lies.”


6. The Thing, The Thing

Here’s the thing about The Thing: in John Carpenter’s 1982 cult classic film, you’re never quite sure who is still human and who is being imitated by the parasitic alien of the title. In fact, both Carpenter and star Kurt Russell have said that at various points in the film, even they aren’t sure who is who. Thus, anyone and everyone at the American research base in frozen, desolate Antarctica can be the villain, leading to an overwhelming sense of paranoia among its inhabitants with chilling results. Interestingly, The Thing and Blade Runner both opened the same day in 1982 to mixed reviews but are now both hailed as sci-fi classics by audiences and critics alike. Case in point? It’s tradition for the crew at the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station in Antarctica to watch The Thing on the first evening of winter each year. Also, Quentin Tarantino reportedly used unused music from legendary composer Ennio Morricone’s score for The Thing for his upcoming film, The Hateful Eight, which is perfect given both films star the ever irascible Kurt Russell.


7. Annie Wilkes, Misery

Kathy Bates is no stranger to playing off-kilter characters, but none are quite as terrifying as Colorado nurse Annie Wilkes, who is definitely a cautionary tale of taking fangirling to the extreme (Tumblr, beware!). There are no lengths to which Annie will not go in order to force kidnapped author, Paul (James Caan), to resurrect her favorite character, Misery, including drugging him and, famously, breaking his feet with a sledgehammer. Though she won the Best Actress Oscar, Bates reportedly had a difficult time filming the more violent scenes, crying in between takes and was actually the third choice for the role behind Anjelica Huston and Bette Midler.


8. Miranda Frost, Die Another Day

The James Bond franchise has never been one for subtlety in its naming of characters (Pussy Galore, anyone?), so it comes as no surprise that Miranda Frost winds up being quite literally the frosty femme fatale of Pierce Brosnan’s last turn as the superspy. Played by a pre-Gone Girl Rosamund Pike, Miranda is a former Olympic fencer turned publicist for baddie billionaire, Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens), by way of MI6. Ever the cool-headed woman, she seduces Bond in a room at Graves’ Icelandic ice palace before revealing her true allegiances in a standoff between Graves and Bond the following day. During Pike’s press tour for Gone Girl, the press nicknamed her “Bond Girl to Gone Girl,” because of how similar her characters are in both films: blonde, cold-hearted, and out for blood.


9. Box, Logan’s Run

The year is 2274, and humans live in a utopia of sorts, except no one gets to live past the age of 30. So naturally when Runners Logan 5 and Jessica 6 attempt to escape, they’re almost killed by a food-gathering robot named Box (Roscoe Lee Brown) in his frozen cave. Box has a certain predilection for freezing Runners like artwork and keeping them in an icy gallery of sorts. A much longer version of this ice cave sequence was shot where Box asks Logan and Jessica to pose for his ice sculpture (What is this, Titanic?), but was ultimately cut due to extensive nudity and fears it would not pass the MGM censors. Because of the size and construction of his costume, actor Roscoe Lee Brown often had trouble moving and especially getting back up if he fell over on set.


10. Catherine Tramell, Basic Instinct

It was the leg-crossing seen round the world; one that has come to define the manipulative, mysterious novelist Catherine Tramell (a tour-de-force performance from Sharon Stone). After being accused of murdering her rock star boyfriend with an ice pick, Catherine strikes up an affair with the detective, Nick (Michael Douglas), assigned to her case. Thus, the ultimate cat-and-mouse game begins with Catherine using her sexual prowess as a means of achieving her own agenda. Like Nick, you’re never really sure if Catherine is the killer, but one look from Sharon Stone’s icy facade is enough to leave anyone dead in their tracks.

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Stan Diego Comic-Con

Stan Against Evil returns November 1st.

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Photo Credit: Erin Resnick, GIFs via Giphy

Another Comic-Con International is in the can, and multiple nerdgasms were had by all – not least of which were about the Stan Against Evil roundtable discussion. Dana, Janet and John dropped a whole lotta information on what’s to come in Season 2 and what it’s like to get covered in buckets of demon goo. Here are the highlights.

Premiere Date!

Season 2 hits the air November 1 and picks up right where things left off. Consider this your chance to seamlessly continue your Halloween binge.

Character Deets!

Most people know that Evie was written especially for Janet, but did you know that Stan is based on Dana Gould’s dad? It’s true. But that’s where the homage ends, because McGinley was taken off the leash to really build a unique character.

Happy Accidents!

Improv is apparently everything, because according to Gould the funniest material happens on the fly. We bet the writers are totally cool with it.

Exposed Roots!

If Stan fans are also into Twin Peaks and Doctor Who, that’s no accident. Both of those cult classic genre benders were front of mind when Stan was being developed.

Trailer Treasure!

Yep. A new trailer dropped. Feast your eyes.

Catch up on Stan Against Evil’s first season on the IFC app before it returns November 1st on IFC.

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Grow TFU

Adulting Like You Mean It

Commuters makes its debut on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Jared Warner, Nick Ciavarella, and Tim Dean were once a part of Murderfist, a group of comedy writers, actors, producers, parents, and reluctant adults. Together with InstaMiniSeries’s Nikki Borges, they’re making their IFC Comedy Crib debut with the refreshingly-honest and joyfully-hilarious Commuters. The webseries follows thirtysomethings Harris and Olivia as they brave the waters of true adulthood, and it’s right on point.

Jared, Nick, Nikki and Tim were kind enough to answer a few questions about Commuters for us. Here’s a snippet of that conversation…

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IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Nick: Two 30-somethings leave the Brooklyn life behind, and move to the New Jersey suburbs in a forced attempt to “grow up.” But they soon find out they’ve got a long way to go to get to where they want to be.

IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jared: It’s a show about how f*cking stupid people who think they are smart can be.

IFC: What’s your origin story? When did you all meet and how long have you been working together?

Jared: Nick, Tim, and I were all in the sketch group Murderfist since, what, like 2004? God. Anyway, Tim and Nick left the group to pursue other frivolous things, like children and careers, but we all enjoyed writing together and kept at it. We were always more interested in storytelling than sketch comedy lends itself to, which led to our webseries Jared Posts A Personal. That was a show about being in your 20s and embracing the chaos of being young in the city. Commuters is the counterpoint, i guess. Our director Adam worked at Borders (~THE PAST!!~) with Tim, came out to a Murderfist show once, and we’ve kept him imprisoned ever since.

IFC: What was the genesis of Commuters?

Tim: Jared had an idea for a series about the more realistic, less romantic aspects of being in a serious relationship.  I moved out of the city to the suburbs and Nick got engaged out in LA.   We sort of combined all of those facets and Commuters was the end result.

IFC: How would Harris describe Olivia?

Jared: Olivia is the smartest, coolest, hottest person in the world, and Harris can’t believe he gets to be with her, even though she does overreact to everything and has no chill. Like seriously, ease up. It doesn’t always have to be ‘a thing.’

IFC: How would Olivia describe Harris?

Nikki:  Harris is smart, confident with a dry sense of humor but he’s also kind of a major chicken shit…. Kind of like if Han Solo and Barney Rubble had a baby.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Nikki:  I think this is the most accurate portrayal of what a modern relationship looks like. Expectations for what your life is ‘supposed to look like’ are confusing and often a let down but when you’re married to your best friend, it’s going to be ok because you will always find a way to make each other laugh.

IFC: Is the exciting life of NYC twentysomethings a sweet dream from which we all must awake, or is it a nightmare that we don’t realize is happening until it’s over?

Tim: Now that i’ve spent time living in the suburbs, helping to raise a two year old, y’all city folk have no fucking clue how great you’ve got it.

Nikki: I think of it similar to how I think about college. There’s a time and age for it to be glorious but no one wants to hang out with that 7th year senior. Luckily, NYC is so multifaceted that you can still have an exciting life here but it doesn’t have to be just what the twentysomethings are doing (thank god).

Jared: New York City is a garbage fire.

See the whole season of Commuters right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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C'mon Fellas

A Man Mansplains To Men

Why Baroness von Sketch Show is a must-see.

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Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to explain something to a woman that she already knows. It happens a lot, but it’s not going to happen here. Ladies, go ahead and skip to the end of this post to watch a free episode of IFC’s latest addition, Baroness von Sketch Show.

However, if you’re a man, you might actually benefit from a good mansplanation. So take a knee, lean in, and absorb the following wisdom.

No Dicks

Baroness von Sketch Show is made entirely by women, therefore this show isn’t focused on men. Can you believe it? I know what you’re thinking: how will we know when to laugh if the jokes aren’t viewed through the dusty lens of the patriarchy? Where are the thinly veiled penis jokes? Am I a bad person? In order: you will, nowhere, and yes.

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Huge Balls

Did you know that there’s more to life than poop jokes, sex jokes, body part jokes? I mean, those things are all really good things, natch, and totally edgy. But Baroness von Sketch Show does something even edgier. It holds up a brutal funhouse mirror to our everyday life. This is a bulls**t world we made, fellas.

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Oh Canada

After you watch the Canadian powerhouses of Baroness von Sketch Show and think to yourself “Dear god, this is so real” and “I’ve gotta talk about this,” do yourself a favor and think a-boot your options: Refrain from sharing your sage wisdom with any woman anywhere (believe us, she gets it). Instead, tell a fellow bro and get the mansplaining out of your system while also spreading the word about a great show.

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Dudes, that’s the deal.
Women, start reading again here:


Check out the preview episode of Baroness von Sketch Show and watch the series premiere August 2 on IFC.

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