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The 7 Most Ridiculous Animal Attack Movies Ever Made

SNAKES ON A PLANE, Samantha McLeod, 2006, ©New Line Cinema/courtesy Everett Collection

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Humanity has dominated the animal kingdom so utterly that we forget we were ever in competition against our mammalian and reptilian brethren. Many movies try to recreate that primal terror by inflating animals to grotesque proportions and removing our ability to defend ourselves or have the sense not to pick a fight with a giant spider. With Snakes on a Plane airing this month on IFC, we thought we’d spotlight some over-the-top animal attack movies. Look out! Things are gonna get really icky.

7. Arachnid (2001)

Arachnid may be the world’s first anti-horror movie. The “arachnid response” is our fundamental fear of anything alien, a terror fundamentally wired into the human brain, and this movie spends 95 minutes undoing everything scary about spiders. After watching this movie you’ll probably split up from your group and walk backwards into a genetic engineering institute built on a spider burial ground. The director is on record as saying the best thing about this movie was how he got to live in Barcelona while filming it, and we kind of can’t disagree with him. Barcelona is pretty nice.


6. Birdemic 2: The Resurrection (2013)

Birdemic‘s unintentional awfulness earned it a place in cult fandom. The sequel embraces its Z-movie status as an excuse to suck harder than an air conditioner connected to a septic tank. And the results are less pleasant, but still cult-worthy. You can’t help but think that everyone involved seems to know that they’re working on one of the most insanely wretched things ever made. You can almost see their fingers twitching to type “LOL” in every scene.


5. Beginning of the End (1957)

In the 1950s, someone worked out how to cheaply splice footage of people and close-up animals, and instead of using it for a single shot they spawned an entire genre. Cinemas were flooded with an entire ark’s worth of inflated animals, though that ark would still only have been the size of a houseboat because all the animals were small and unthreatening. Beginning of the End was notable for choosing one of the most unthreatening animals possible, as grasshoppers aren’t very intimidating unless you’re a blade of grass. The generic title doesn’t help matters — if they’d called the movie “Attack of the Grasshoppers” at least we’d know we were in for some sweet ‘hopper action amidst all the stock footage.


4. Snakehead Terror (2004)

In this C-movie extravaganza that presupposes that no one has ever seen Piranha, an inland fishing village finds that their lake has become infested with mutated omnivorous snakehead fish, which rapidly exhaust their native food supply and start walking on land and eating humans to avoid starvation. This is the only horror movie where the protagonists would be saved by going camping in the woods. Fish emerging from the water might be a miracle of evolution but they’re still much, much worse in the air than we are. Walking Mutant Terror Fish aren’t nearly as scary/awesome as a Snarknado.


3. Night of the Lepus (1972)

Making bunny rabbits look threatening is an amazing cinematic challenge, so it’s a pity nobody told that to the makers of Night of the Lepus. Every monster sequence looks like it was intended to be adored by four-year-olds, and sounds like it was written by those four-year-olds arguing over a crayon. The result is the cutest horror movie ever made.


2. Sharknado

We have to mention the Sharknado franchise as an example of a so-bad-it’s-kind-of-good animal attack movie, even though the filmmakers are a little too in on the joke at this point. (What forgotten ’80s or ’90s TV star will show up in Sharknado 4? Vicki from Small Wonder, maybe??) Sharknado knows the pleasures of absurdly awful movies which made its undeniably great premise (it’s in the title, come on) such a hit. But by the time Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! rolled around, we started to get a little tired of 90210‘s Ian Zeiring fighting a flying shark with a chainsaw, a sentence we never imagined we’d ever write.


1. Snakes on a Plane (2006) 

The world’s first meta-disaster monster movie, Snakes on a Plane was an early example of the perils of viral marketing — its unprecedented Internet meme success translated into about 20 cents at the box office. But that’s what makes the movie even better, since it lets you enjoy every kind of movie disaster in one motherf-ing package. And that package is a plane. Full of snakes.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show comes to IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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