DID YOU READ

The Worst Movies Starring Wrestlers

Mr Nanny

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Professional wrestling is a strange art form – equal parts modern dance, gymnastics and theatre. Its practitioners need to be able to express emotions to TV cameras and people in the cheap seats with equal skill. Unfortunately, that skill doesn’t translate so well to other forms of acting, as the flicks in this list will aptly illustrate. Join us as we bodyslam these cinematic abominations and find out who claims the title of the worst wrestling actor of all time.

10. See No Evil

Expect the cinematic powerhouse that is WWE Films to secure more than a few spots on this list. After the Rock made himself a bona-fide movie star, Vince McMahon figured he could repeat the feat with some of his other roided-out grapplers. One unlikely star was Glenn Thomas Jacobs, aka Kane, the Undertaker’s half-brother who used to be horribly disfigured and also once wrestled as Jerry Lawler’s dentist and went by the name Isaac Yankem. (Wrestling, folks!) See No Evil cast him as the monster in a Z-grade horror flick that somehow still spawned a sequel.


9. Santa’s Slay

For a while it looked like Bill Goldberg was going to be wrestling’s next breakout star, but the former NFL player never managed to extend his fame too far outside the squared circle. Starring in dreck like Santa’s Slay — where he played a violent, insane Saint Nick decking the halls with gore while riding around on a sleigh driven by demonic “hell-deer” — didn’t help matters much.


8. Mr. Nanny

For a brief period during the early ’90s, Hulk Hogan attempted to have a second career in family cinema with movies like Suburban Commando and this unwatchable drek about a wrestler who becomes a bodyguard/nanny for a couple of bratty kids. Even as Home Alone knockoffs go, this one is particularly dreadful.


7. The Chaperone

Triple H has been smart enough to recognize his limitations and stay out of movies for the most part, but somehow he got roped into starring in the family comedy The Chaperone for WWE Films. As criminal driver trying to go straight Ray Bradstone, HHH stinks it up for an interminable 103 minutes of sub-Smokey and the Bandit shenanigans.


6. Abraxas, Guardian Of The Universe

Jesse “The Body” Ventura has starred in a couple all-time great action movies with Arnold Schwarzenegger, but when he stepped out on his own in the lead role things didn’t work out so well. Abraxas, Guardian Of The Universe is an incoherent 1990 sci-fi flick where Ventura plays an alien cop hunting down a little kid that could mean the end of the universe. It’s dire even by late-’80s sci-fi standards.


5. Tooth Fairy

The Rock has proven that he has box office mojo across a number of very successful flicks, but you can’t win them all. 2010’s Tooth Fairy was an absolute flop, casting him as a minor-league hockey player who through an absurd contrivance has to take over for the magical pixie that swipes teeth from under pillows. He did his level best, but the flick is rotten to the core.


4. Knucklehead

It’s tough to be Paul Wight – remember, he was once billed as the son of Andre the Giant, who made a splash in The Princess Bride. Wight, aka The Big Show, however, has had less luck on the silver screen. As the protagonist of dire WWE Films production Knucklehead, he plays a clumsy, moronic leviathan who has to save his orphanage while enduring a nearly-endless stream of fart jokes.


3. River Of Darkness

Olympian and American hero Kurt Angle starred in this unspeakably awful drama alongside fellow wrestlers Kevin Nash and Sid Vicious. Angle plays a small-town sheriff investigating a series of bizarre murders, only to discover a horrible secret from the past has returned to…oh, Jesus, why am I trying to make this movie sound interesting? It’s not. Massive plot holes, incompetent cinematography and Angle’s complete lack of acting talent make it a very dark river indeed.


2. Santa With Muscles

It’s a tough call picking just one Hulk Hogan movie for this list because outside of Rocky III and the so-bad-it’s good No Holds Barred, the Orange Goblin’s filmography could easily take all ten spots. His absolute nadir probably came with Santa With Muscles, an incoherent family film where he plays an asshole millionaire who gets amnesia in a Santa costume and becomes convinced that he’s the real Kris Kringle. Oh, and there’s an orphanage in it, and underneath that orphanage is a cave filled with valuable crystals, because nothing has to make sense in Hogan-world.


1. Ready To Rumble

WCW loaned a number of their stars to this insanely awful comedy starring David Arquette. Sure, the wrestlers just had to “be themselves,” but most of them failed at even that. The absolute worst thing about Ready To Rumble is that, in a moronic promotional move, WCW actually gave David Arquette the title of World Heavyweight Championship, devaluing the belt forever in the eyes of the fans.

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Stan Diego Comic-Con

Stan Against Evil returns November 1st.

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Photo Credit: Erin Resnick, GIFs via Giphy

Another Comic-Con International is in the can, and multiple nerdgasms were had by all – not least of which were about the Stan Against Evil roundtable discussion. Dana, Janet and John dropped a whole lotta information on what’s to come in Season 2 and what it’s like to get covered in buckets of demon goo. Here are the highlights.

Premiere Date!

Season 2 hits the air November 1 and picks up right where things left off. Consider this your chance to seamlessly continue your Halloween binge.

Character Deets!

Most people know that Evie was written especially for Janet, but did you know that Stan is based on Dana Gould’s dad? It’s true. But that’s where the homage ends, because McGinley was taken off the leash to really build a unique character.

Happy Accidents!

Improv is apparently everything, because according to Gould the funniest material happens on the fly. We bet the writers are totally cool with it.

Exposed Roots!

If Stan fans are also into Twin Peaks and Doctor Who, that’s no accident. Both of those cult classic genre benders were front of mind when Stan was being developed.

Trailer Treasure!

Yep. A new trailer dropped. Feast your eyes.

Catch up on Stan Against Evil’s first season on the IFC app before it returns November 1st on IFC.

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Grow TFU

Adulting Like You Mean It

Commuters makes its debut on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Jared Warner, Nick Ciavarella, and Tim Dean were once a part of Murderfist, a group of comedy writers, actors, producers, parents, and reluctant adults. Together with InstaMiniSeries’s Nikki Borges, they’re making their IFC Comedy Crib debut with the refreshingly-honest and joyfully-hilarious Commuters. The webseries follows thirtysomethings Harris and Olivia as they brave the waters of true adulthood, and it’s right on point.

Jared, Nick, Nikki and Tim were kind enough to answer a few questions about Commuters for us. Here’s a snippet of that conversation…

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IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Nick: Two 30-somethings leave the Brooklyn life behind, and move to the New Jersey suburbs in a forced attempt to “grow up.” But they soon find out they’ve got a long way to go to get to where they want to be.

IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jared: It’s a show about how f*cking stupid people who think they are smart can be.

IFC: What’s your origin story? When did you all meet and how long have you been working together?

Jared: Nick, Tim, and I were all in the sketch group Murderfist since, what, like 2004? God. Anyway, Tim and Nick left the group to pursue other frivolous things, like children and careers, but we all enjoyed writing together and kept at it. We were always more interested in storytelling than sketch comedy lends itself to, which led to our webseries Jared Posts A Personal. That was a show about being in your 20s and embracing the chaos of being young in the city. Commuters is the counterpoint, i guess. Our director Adam worked at Borders (~THE PAST!!~) with Tim, came out to a Murderfist show once, and we’ve kept him imprisoned ever since.

IFC: What was the genesis of Commuters?

Tim: Jared had an idea for a series about the more realistic, less romantic aspects of being in a serious relationship.  I moved out of the city to the suburbs and Nick got engaged out in LA.   We sort of combined all of those facets and Commuters was the end result.

IFC: How would Harris describe Olivia?

Jared: Olivia is the smartest, coolest, hottest person in the world, and Harris can’t believe he gets to be with her, even though she does overreact to everything and has no chill. Like seriously, ease up. It doesn’t always have to be ‘a thing.’

IFC: How would Olivia describe Harris?

Nikki:  Harris is smart, confident with a dry sense of humor but he’s also kind of a major chicken shit…. Kind of like if Han Solo and Barney Rubble had a baby.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Nikki:  I think this is the most accurate portrayal of what a modern relationship looks like. Expectations for what your life is ‘supposed to look like’ are confusing and often a let down but when you’re married to your best friend, it’s going to be ok because you will always find a way to make each other laugh.

IFC: Is the exciting life of NYC twentysomethings a sweet dream from which we all must awake, or is it a nightmare that we don’t realize is happening until it’s over?

Tim: Now that i’ve spent time living in the suburbs, helping to raise a two year old, y’all city folk have no fucking clue how great you’ve got it.

Nikki: I think of it similar to how I think about college. There’s a time and age for it to be glorious but no one wants to hang out with that 7th year senior. Luckily, NYC is so multifaceted that you can still have an exciting life here but it doesn’t have to be just what the twentysomethings are doing (thank god).

Jared: New York City is a garbage fire.

See the whole season of Commuters right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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C'mon Fellas

A Man Mansplains To Men

Why Baroness von Sketch Show is a must-see.

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Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to explain something to a woman that she already knows. It happens a lot, but it’s not going to happen here. Ladies, go ahead and skip to the end of this post to watch a free episode of IFC’s latest addition, Baroness von Sketch Show.

However, if you’re a man, you might actually benefit from a good mansplanation. So take a knee, lean in, and absorb the following wisdom.

No Dicks

Baroness von Sketch Show is made entirely by women, therefore this show isn’t focused on men. Can you believe it? I know what you’re thinking: how will we know when to laugh if the jokes aren’t viewed through the dusty lens of the patriarchy? Where are the thinly veiled penis jokes? Am I a bad person? In order: you will, nowhere, and yes.

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Huge Balls

Did you know that there’s more to life than poop jokes, sex jokes, body part jokes? I mean, those things are all really good things, natch, and totally edgy. But Baroness von Sketch Show does something even edgier. It holds up a brutal funhouse mirror to our everyday life. This is a bulls**t world we made, fellas.

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Oh Canada

After you watch the Canadian powerhouses of Baroness von Sketch Show and think to yourself “Dear god, this is so real” and “I’ve gotta talk about this,” do yourself a favor and think a-boot your options: Refrain from sharing your sage wisdom with any woman anywhere (believe us, she gets it). Instead, tell a fellow bro and get the mansplaining out of your system while also spreading the word about a great show.

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Dudes, that’s the deal.
Women, start reading again here:


Check out the preview episode of Baroness von Sketch Show and watch the series premiere August 2 on IFC.

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