DID YOU READ

10 One-Eyed Movie Characters You Don’t Want to Mess With

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By Bruce Cherry 

“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” The theologian (and literal Renaissance man) Erasmus of Rotterdam said that. What he couldn’t have known is that one-eyed men (along with the occasional one-eyed woman, monster, minion, and sea plankton) would one day rule the world of cinema. With the Minions taking over movie screens and Facebook feeds everywhere, we thought it would be a good time to salute filmdom’s greatest one-eyed characters.

1. Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) from Escape from New York and Escape from L.A.

With his Dirty Harry delivery and pirate eyepatch, Snake Plissken is the king of One-Eyed Attitude. He doesn’t stand on ceremony (“Call me Snake”) and between the two movies he’s bicoastal too! Sadly a planned sequel, Escape from the Flyover States, never materialized.


2. Big Dan Teague (John Goodman) from O Brother, Where Art Thou?

O Brother is based on Homer’s Odyssey (very loosely, Homer doesn’t mention Dapper Dan pomade) which means that Big Dan is based on the Cyclops in the original story. That makes him a one-eyed character created by a blind poet, a case of pupil envy if there ever was one.


3. Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) from the Marvel Universe franchise

He’s a superhero AND an effective upper level executive. As the list of Marvel films and TV shows he’s appeared in makes clear, Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury is absolutely indispensable because he handles the bureaucratic behind-the-scenes chores that make modern super-heroism possible… as well as taking part in the occasional car chase or perfectly timed intervention. Still, as upper management, he tends to take a lot of lunch meetings.


4. Alastor “Mad Eye” Moody (Brendan Gleeson) from the Harry Potter franchise

When Scottish wizard and Auror, Alastor “Mad Eye” Moody, lost an eye during the Wizarding Wars, he replaced it with a Magic Eye that rotates in a complete circle and can see through almost anything, including the back of his head. (Best. Replacement Eye. Ever.) The eye was so effective that it lived on after Moody’s death—so instead of a character missing an eye, we had an eye that was missing a character.


5. Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah) from Kill Bill: Vol. 1 and Vol. 2

Elle Driver, AKA “California Mountain Snake” is one of the rare female one-eyed characters in the movies. Why there are so few is a mystery, since the eye-patch is a great look for this assassin. That fact is completely lost upon her now, though, since she loses her other eye in a fight. Still, she may be one of the only Viper Assassination Squad members to survive both Kill Bill movies. If there’s a Kill Bill: Vol. 3, Elle could be the even rarer female character who is completely eyeless.


6. Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges, John Wayne) from True Grit (2010) and True Grit (1969)

We’ve seen one-eyed characters who are threatening, sexy, funny, and even cute. But nothing goes with the one-eyed look better than plain old grizzled, and both Jeff Bridges and John Wayne have faces that are as leathery as their eyepatch. And that’s the kind of face that a one-eyed fat man needs if they want to deliver bold talk. Old Rooster Cogburn has seen it all… though not with any depth perception.


7. Odin (Anthony Hopkins) from Thor and Thor: The Dark World

Portrayed by Anthony Hopkins, and sporting a solid gold eyepatch, Odin has to be the classiest one-eye in cinema. In Viking mythology, Odin sacrificed his eye to attain wisdom. I’d be afraid that the first thing I would find out is not to sacrifice your eye for wisdom.


8. Sheldon J. Plankton (Mr. Lawrence) from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie and The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Why does Sheldon rule? He’s one-eyed, borderline microscopic, and he occupies the very bottom of the food chain. Yet he wants to take over the world, by making his Chum Bucket restaurant successful, no less. Plankton is the very epitome of dreaming big. He won’t give up, no matter how many times he gets stepped on, which is pretty much every scene he appears in.


9. The Deacon (Dennis Hopper), Waterworld

Having only one eye is perfect here—Dennis Hopper’s over-the-top performance as the Deacon is the only thing that made this soggy mess half-way watchable.


10. Emilio Largo (Adolfo Celi) from Thunderball

In the case of this classic James Bond villain, the eyepatch is just there to look cool. Really, the Largo character in Ian Fleming’s original novel doesn’t have an eyepatch. The reason for it is never mentioned in the movie. But Largo’s mono-ocular menace as SPECTRE’s “Number 2” is the granddaddy of modern one-eyed villainy. It inspired memorable parodies by Robert Wagner and Rob Lowe as “Number 2” in the Austin Powers movies, where Dr. Evil forever branded the one-eyed bad guy character as “my cycloptic colleague.”

SAE SDCC 2017

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Stan Diego Comic-Con

Stan Against Evil returns November 1st.

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Photo Credit: Erin Resnick, GIFs via Giphy

Another Comic-Con International is in the can, and multiple nerdgasms were had by all – not least of which were about the Stan Against Evil roundtable discussion. Dana, Janet and John dropped a whole lotta information on what’s to come in Season 2 and what it’s like to get covered in buckets of demon goo. Here are the highlights.

Premiere Date!

Season 2 hits the air November 1 and picks up right where things left off. Consider this your chance to seamlessly continue your Halloween binge.

Character Deets!

Most people know that Evie was written especially for Janet, but did you know that Stan is based on Dana Gould’s dad? It’s true. But that’s where the homage ends, because McGinley was taken off the leash to really build a unique character.

Happy Accidents!

Improv is apparently everything, because according to Gould the funniest material happens on the fly. We bet the writers are totally cool with it.

Exposed Roots!

If Stan fans are also into Twin Peaks and Doctor Who, that’s no accident. Both of those cult classic genre benders were front of mind when Stan was being developed.

Trailer Treasure!

Yep. A new trailer dropped. Feast your eyes.

Catch up on Stan Against Evil’s first season on the IFC app before it returns November 1st on IFC.

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Grow TFU

Adulting Like You Mean It

Commuters makes its debut on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Jared Warner, Nick Ciavarella, and Tim Dean were once a part of Murderfist, a group of comedy writers, actors, producers, parents, and reluctant adults. Together with InstaMiniSeries’s Nikki Borges, they’re making their IFC Comedy Crib debut with the refreshingly-honest and joyfully-hilarious Commuters. The webseries follows thirtysomethings Harris and Olivia as they brave the waters of true adulthood, and it’s right on point.

Jared, Nick, Nikki and Tim were kind enough to answer a few questions about Commuters for us. Here’s a snippet of that conversation…

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IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Nick: Two 30-somethings leave the Brooklyn life behind, and move to the New Jersey suburbs in a forced attempt to “grow up.” But they soon find out they’ve got a long way to go to get to where they want to be.

IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jared: It’s a show about how f*cking stupid people who think they are smart can be.

IFC: What’s your origin story? When did you all meet and how long have you been working together?

Jared: Nick, Tim, and I were all in the sketch group Murderfist since, what, like 2004? God. Anyway, Tim and Nick left the group to pursue other frivolous things, like children and careers, but we all enjoyed writing together and kept at it. We were always more interested in storytelling than sketch comedy lends itself to, which led to our webseries Jared Posts A Personal. That was a show about being in your 20s and embracing the chaos of being young in the city. Commuters is the counterpoint, i guess. Our director Adam worked at Borders (~THE PAST!!~) with Tim, came out to a Murderfist show once, and we’ve kept him imprisoned ever since.

IFC: What was the genesis of Commuters?

Tim: Jared had an idea for a series about the more realistic, less romantic aspects of being in a serious relationship.  I moved out of the city to the suburbs and Nick got engaged out in LA.   We sort of combined all of those facets and Commuters was the end result.

IFC: How would Harris describe Olivia?

Jared: Olivia is the smartest, coolest, hottest person in the world, and Harris can’t believe he gets to be with her, even though she does overreact to everything and has no chill. Like seriously, ease up. It doesn’t always have to be ‘a thing.’

IFC: How would Olivia describe Harris?

Nikki:  Harris is smart, confident with a dry sense of humor but he’s also kind of a major chicken shit…. Kind of like if Han Solo and Barney Rubble had a baby.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Nikki:  I think this is the most accurate portrayal of what a modern relationship looks like. Expectations for what your life is ‘supposed to look like’ are confusing and often a let down but when you’re married to your best friend, it’s going to be ok because you will always find a way to make each other laugh.

IFC: Is the exciting life of NYC twentysomethings a sweet dream from which we all must awake, or is it a nightmare that we don’t realize is happening until it’s over?

Tim: Now that i’ve spent time living in the suburbs, helping to raise a two year old, y’all city folk have no fucking clue how great you’ve got it.

Nikki: I think of it similar to how I think about college. There’s a time and age for it to be glorious but no one wants to hang out with that 7th year senior. Luckily, NYC is so multifaceted that you can still have an exciting life here but it doesn’t have to be just what the twentysomethings are doing (thank god).

Jared: New York City is a garbage fire.

See the whole season of Commuters right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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C'mon Fellas

A Man Mansplains To Men

Why Baroness von Sketch Show is a must-see.

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Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to explain something to a woman that she already knows. It happens a lot, but it’s not going to happen here. Ladies, go ahead and skip to the end of this post to watch a free episode of IFC’s latest addition, Baroness von Sketch Show.

However, if you’re a man, you might actually benefit from a good mansplanation. So take a knee, lean in, and absorb the following wisdom.

No Dicks

Baroness von Sketch Show is made entirely by women, therefore this show isn’t focused on men. Can you believe it? I know what you’re thinking: how will we know when to laugh if the jokes aren’t viewed through the dusty lens of the patriarchy? Where are the thinly veiled penis jokes? Am I a bad person? In order: you will, nowhere, and yes.

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Huge Balls

Did you know that there’s more to life than poop jokes, sex jokes, body part jokes? I mean, those things are all really good things, natch, and totally edgy. But Baroness von Sketch Show does something even edgier. It holds up a brutal funhouse mirror to our everyday life. This is a bulls**t world we made, fellas.

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Oh Canada

After you watch the Canadian powerhouses of Baroness von Sketch Show and think to yourself “Dear god, this is so real” and “I’ve gotta talk about this,” do yourself a favor and think a-boot your options: Refrain from sharing your sage wisdom with any woman anywhere (believe us, she gets it). Instead, tell a fellow bro and get the mansplaining out of your system while also spreading the word about a great show.

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Dudes, that’s the deal.
Women, start reading again here:


Check out the preview episode of Baroness von Sketch Show and watch the series premiere August 2 on IFC.

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