DID YOU READ

10 Kickass Female Superheroes Who Need Their Own Movies

Catwoman The Dark Knight Rises

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Fans are already kvetching that almost every Avenger but Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow gets their own solo outing, and Marvel isn’t dropping a female-led flick until 2018’s Captain Marvel. DC will hit with Wonder Woman a year earlier, but there are so many female ass-kickers who should already have Hollywood deals. Here are our picks for superheroines who should already have their own movies.

10. She Hulk

Marvel

Marvel

We’ve had two Hulk films to date (four if you count the Avengers movies), yet Bruce Banner’s cousin lawyer/superhero Jennifer Walters has yet to turn up on film. (Though a movie was developed for Brigitte Nielsen during the ’90s. Check out the promo photo and be glad it never happened.)


9. Emma Frost

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

Starting her career as a villainous member of the Hellfire Club, the powerful psychic Emma Frost has been batting (mostly) for the X-Men in recent years. Her powers of manipulation and plunging bustlines would make her a fun anchor for a solo flick outside of the crowded X-Men movies, which don’t give her any time to shine.


8. Cameron Chase

Cameron Chase

DC Comics

It’s a stretch to call Cameron Chase a “superhero” – when she debuted in her own DC Comic in 1998, she seemed to be batting for the other team more often than not. As an agent of the Department of Extranormal Operations, her job was to monitor and neutralize supers – both hero and villain – who went over the line. It’s a great premise for a flick – an ordinary woman in a world full of freaks, tasked with taking them down. Hey, if Suicide Squad can be a summer tentpole movie, so can Chase.


7. Street Angel

Slave Labor Graphics

Slave Labor Graphics

Created by the team of Jim Rugg and Brian Maruca, Street Angel is a surly, homeless 12-year-old girl named Jesse Sanchez who is equally adept at skateboarding and kicking ninja asses. A short film of the series was actually produced in 2008, but it just left us thirsty for more.


6. Amethyst

DC Comics

DC Comics

One of DC’s most unusual concepts, Amethyst: Princess of Gemworld was a 1983 series about a young girl who gets pulled into another dimension to battle for control of a magical realm. Despite its kiddie look, Amethyst was remarkably dark for the time, featuring murder, betrayal and political machinations that would make a sweet-ass movie.


5. Promethea

Wildstorm/DC

Wildstorm/DC

Movies based on Alan Moore comics are usually total stinkers, but who knows? Maybe they’d get it right with Promethea, his wildly ambitious 1999 series about the power of stories that also served as a guided tour through his own mystical cosmology.


4. Squirrel Girl

Marvel

Marvel

The list of Marvel heroes who have defeated Dr. Doom, Thanos and Galactus can fit on a regular-sized Post-It note. That is, unless Squirrel Girl writes her name in big letters. The rodent-controlling part-time nanny has become one of Marvel’s most endearing characters, and a light comedy romp in the Ant-Man style would be a lot of fun.


3. Harley Quinn

Yes, we know that Harley’s going to have a major role in that Hot Topic-looking Suicide Squad thing coming out next summer, but really she deserves her own solo joint first. Quinn’s character has gone through some major evolution since debuting in Batman: The Animated Series, and her current comic book incarnation is a wise-cracking omnisexual opportunist with a heart of gold and an itchy trigger finger.


2. Catwoman

DC Comics

DC Comics

Yes, there was that Halle Berry debacle about killer cosmetics or whatever. And while we enjoyed the character’s portrayal in The Dark Knight Rises, there has yet to be a big screen solo outing for Selina Kyle that captures the character at her crime noir-tinged best. Hopefully DC/Warner Bros’ next wave of films will include a Catwoman film adapting Ed Brubaker and Darwyn Cooke’s run of comics.


1. Ms. Marvel

Marvel Comics

Marvel Comics

Yes, Carol Danvers – the original Ms. Marvel, now Captain Marvel – is getting her own movie. But one of the most unlikely hits in the comics world right now is the story of Kamala Khan, a Muslim girl from New Jersey who gets super-powers and “borrows” her favorite heroine’s old name. Kamala is one of the greatest character creations of the 21st century, and she’s building a whole new generation of fans. She certainly deserves her own movie.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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