DID YOU READ

A Definitive, Inarguable Ranking of Every Weird Al Album

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No comedy musician has sustained a career with the relentless furor of “Weird Al” Yankovic. For almost 40 years, he’s skewered the hits of the day with his trademark nasal voice and pumping accordion. Without him, he wouldn’t have the artists featured on CollegeHumor’s Comedy Music Hall of Fame. To get you ready for his induction tonight, and because as humans it is in our nature to bring order to chaos, we felt it appropriate to rank Al’s entire oeuvre from worst to best for your listening pleasure. Note: This is studio albums only, not compilations or EPs or the Peter and the Wolf collaboration album he did with Wendy Carlos, so don’t get sassy.

14. Poodle Hat

The early ’00s were a pretty dire time for music, and Al’s 2003 release Poodle Hat reflects that with an uneven album of rap rock and Avril Lavigne parodies. (“Trash Day,” a tepid spoof of Nelly’s “Hot in Here,” includes lines like “There’s something rotten here/you better hold your nose.”) The disc’s only single, “eBay,” was a flaccid Backstreet Boys parody, and it’s one of only three Weird Al releases to not go gold on the Billboard charts. The only high point is the polka medley, which includes an unforgettable bit of “Chop Suey” by System of a Down.


13. Polka Party!

Al had his first commercial misstep with this 1986 release, which featured formulaic takes on a number of mid-’80s hits. His record company insisted he spoof another artist on the label for the album’s single, so we got the James Brown riff “Living With A Hernia.” When the album flopped, Al thought it was going to be the end of his career.


12. Running With Scissors

Al bailed from long-time label Scotti Brothers at the end of the ’90s after his career was in a tailspin, but it wasn’t enough to save this disappointing disc. 1999’s Running With Scissors seems like a rush job, with the geek-pandering “The Saga Begins” (set to the tune of “American Pie”) the biggest hit. Again, source material is a problem – when the artists you’re parodying include Puff Daddy and the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, your album’s gonna suck, daddy-o.


11. UHF Soundtrack

Al’s 1989 movie effort UHF is a cult classic, but the soundtrack album doesn’t fare so well. The Dire Straits/Beverly Hillbillies mash-up is one joke stretched out way too long (and suffers without the video’s neat visuals), and the rest of the material hasn’t aged well. One track of note is “Isle Thing,” Al’s first rap parody which spoofs Tone Loc’s “Wild Thing.”


10. Alpocalypse

It took almost five years for Yankovic to put together 2011’s Alpocalypse, and taking away the up-to-the- minute nature of his parodies is the kiss of death. This album’s not technically “bad,” per se, it just doesn’t have any real reason to exist. The drama around Lady Gaga’s management denying him permission to parody her was more interesting than the song (“Perform This Way”) itself. One high point was the variety of animated videos created by Bill Plympton, Liam Lynch and others for many of the tracks.


9. “Weird Al” Yankovic

Al’s self-titled debut was released in 1983, and while it was a strong offering and featured four singles, it’s obvious that this was an artist who hadn’t realized his true potential. While the instrumentation is primitive, with the accordion featured on every track, the album has a low-fi charm and presence of an all-time classic (“Another One Rides The Bus”) is enough to make it a must-listen.


8. Bad Hair Day

“Weird Al” had a hard time adapting to the rapidly-changing face of music in the mid-’90s, but Bad Hair Day is perhaps his best effort from that era. Some of the tracks are forgettable (remember U2’s song from the Batman Forever soundtrack? What about Al’s dental-themed parody of it?), but the Coolio spoof (“Amish Paradise”) pissed off the rapper so much that Al feared for his life.


7. Alapalooza

Al’s 1993 album came only a year after Off the Deep End, and its rushed quality makes it a bit of a mixed bag. Doing a “Jurassic Park” spoof set to the tune of “MacArthur Park” is pretty genius, but parodies of Billy Ray Cyrus and Talk Soup (oddly enough Al’s song was originally intended to be the theme song for the long-running E! clip show) haven’t aged very well.


6. Straight Outta Lynwood

After a fallow period, Al came roaring back in 2006 with the biggest hit of his career to date, the Chamillionaire parody “White & Nerdy.” Tackling R. Kelly’s “Trapped In The Closet,” a song so ludicrous it almost defies parody, put the album over the top. Boo to James Blunt, who nixed a parody called “You’re Pitiful” from the album (listen to it here), but his career is dead now anyway.


5. Even Worse

Al went back to the Michael Jackson well with “Fat,” and it created one of his most unforgettable videos ever. The rest of the LP is solid as well, with Yankovic hitting his stride with originals like “Stuck in a Closet With Vanna White.” Both Prince and George Michael turned him down when he asked for parody rights, making us weep for what could’ve been.


4. Mandatory Fun

Al’s 2014 triumph proved that the old dog still has tricks in him. On release, this platter of parodies of everyone from Iggy Azalea to Crosby, Stills & Nash shot to #1 on the Billboard charts – a first for any comedy LP – and the material is wall-to-wall solid. Al sampled from the entire history of pop for this one, nailing Imagine Dragons with the same vigor that he does a nine-minute Cat Stevens spoof.


3. Off the Deep End

After a downturn in his popularity post-UHF, Al took a few years and came back stronger than ever with Off the Deep End, satirizing the ludicrousness of the grunge era in classic style. “Smells Like Nirvana” nailed the Seattle sound at the perfect time, and the other parodies nailed ’90s stalwarts like NKOTB and MC Hammer.


2. Dare to Be Stupid

For all of Al’s success since, it’s inarguable that his heyday was probably the mid-’80s. His third release, Dare to Be Stupid, has him at the height of his powers. After “Eat It” brought him mainstream fame, Al became more ambitious with the follow-up. The Devo pastiche title track was so good that Mark Mothersbaugh called it “the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.” And it gave us “Yoda,” the Star Wars spoof that still inspires singalongs at Al’s concerts.


1. In 3-D

1984 was the moment that “Weird Al” broke through to the collective consciousness, and even 31 years later Weird Al Yankovic In 3-D still holds up. Part of it is due to the source material – Michael Jackson, The Police, Bob Marley – and the rest is due to Al coming in to his own as a confident parodist. This album also marked the first of Yankovic’s polka medleys, which would become a staple on every album to come.

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SAG Life

Rappers Act Up

Watch the Yo! IFC Acts Movie Marathon Memorial Day Weekend.

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Photo Credit: Courtesy of the Everett Collection (and the '90s)

Memorial Day weekend: how to celebrate? Nothing quite says “screw spring—let’s do summer” like blockbuster movies starring rappers who ditched lucrative music careers in order to become actors. It happened a lot, remember? Especially in and around the ’90s. Will Smith, Eminem, Ice Cube, Ice-T, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris…icons with the hubris to try the silver screen instead and have it totally work out.

But what if more rappers had made the leap? That’s a rhetorical question—movies (and life) would’ve been better, obviously. To prove it, here are some movies that would’ve been more memorable with rappers.

The Godfather

Starring Biggie, not Brando.
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Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Only Coolio could improve upon Gene Wilder’s performance.
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Billy Elliot

Billy Elliot, with a dose of Missy Elliott.
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Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Low hanging fruit, Hollywood.
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And of course…

Kanye-of-The-Lambs

See NONE of those movies and a whole bunch of real ones this Memorial Day weekend on IFC’s rapper-filled movie marathon.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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