5 Movies That Somehow Exist in the Entourage Universe

Medellín Entourage

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With the Entourage extended episode, er, movie in theaters, viewers must once again try to make sense of the career of superstar actor Vincent Chase. Part Leonardo DiCaprio, all Adrian Grenier, Vinnie Chase — with his puppy dog eyes and obvious lack of even the most basic of acting skills — at first seemed to symbolize everything that was wrong with superficial Hollywood. Those of us who hate-watched Entourage waited for his inevitable downfall into late night acne cream infomercial purgatory.

Of course, since Entourage quickly became a show where the rich and awful get everything they want, Vinnie continued to fail upwards in spectacular fashion. (He’s even directing now with Hyde, a superhero/EDM/Jekyll and Hyde retelling that even the most coked-up of Hollywood studio execs would take a hard pass on.)

Despite numerous scandals (a drug problem, a porn star girlfriend, and didn’t Turtle kill a hooker at some point? Honestly, we’ve blocked out most of the show…), Vinnie always managed to be on the top of Hollywood’s casting list. While some projects failed to pan out (Vinnie passed on Disney’s Matterhorn because pal/manager/inexplicable ladies man E said the script sucked; hopefully Disney isn’t using that draft for the real Matterhorn movie), Vincent still has a resume filled with both comic book blockbusters and prestige flicks that in no way match up to his talent, likeability factor, or constant career ups-and-downs. Here are five movies that somehow exist in the world of Vinnie, Drama, E and Turtle.

5. Head On

Despite being a total Hollywood unknown who had only an episode of JAG, a Mentos commercial, and the forgettable Mandy Moore vehicle A Walk to Remember on his resumeVincent somehow scored the lead role opposite Jessica Alba in this crime thriller that shares its name with a headache relief balm.

4. Ferrari 

Because A-list Hollywood directors can’t wait to line up to work with the walking charisma blackhole that is Vinnie Chase, Frank Darabont, who directs a movie once every decade, helmed this biopic where our boy Vin played Italian race car driver Enzo Ferrari. But because he’s a true New Yorker/pampered celebrity, Vinnie didn’t do his own driving in the film.

3. Medellin

Vinnie, looking more like Tony Clifton than a crime lord, starred as Pablo Escobar in this bloated, Scarface-esque epic that even the Entourage writers realized was ridiculous. Miramax chief Harvey Weinstein bought it for a dollar at Cannes and dumped it directly to DVD. Vinnie promptly retreated with Turtle to an island filled with scantily clad babes because, Entourage, bro.

2. The Great Gatsby (Martin Scorsese Edition)



Oh, you saw the DiCaprio Great Gatsby? Well, you haven’t really experienced the ennui of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic tale until you’ve seen Vinnie Chase’s acclaimed turn as Nick Carraway in the Martin Scorsese-directed, Gus Van Sant-produced Gatsby. It’s a wonder Vinnie didn’t win an Oscar for this. Not for his acting talent or anything, just because it would’ve given Johnny Drama the chance to make tons of hack-y jokes about the Oscar statuette’s golden junk.

1. Aquaman 

Let’s just make this clear right away: Entourage exists in a world where a James Cameron directed Aquaman is one of the top-grossing films of all time. It beat Spider-Man‘s opening weekend box office take. Oh, and Mandy Moore is Aquagirl and James Woods is the villainous businessman Abaddon, who in the DC Comics universe is a demon so we assume Woods is playing Demon Donald Trump. Ray Liotta and Sharon Stone starred as Aquaman’s parents and Seven scribe Andrew Kevin Walker was responsible for the screenplay. If this was 1997, it would possibly be the best/worst comic book film of all time. Oh, and there was a sequel starring Jake Gyllenhaall in the lead role since Vinnie decided to drop out following his break-up with Mandy Moore. The Jason Momoa Aquaman can only hope to be this ridiculous.

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Documentary Now! Robert Evans Mansion

The Reel Deal

Everything You Need To Know About “Mr. Runner Up” Inspiration Robert Evans

Watch the two-part finale of Documentary Now! this Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

In its upcoming two-part finale, Documentary Now! spoofs the crown jewel of docs: The Kid Stays In The Picture. It’s the autobiographical documentary about Robert Evans, the unlikely Hollywood mogul whose mix of self-aggrandizing bravado, classic good looks and extremely circumstantial good luck took him from being a salesman to an actor to the head of Paramount Pictures.

If you’ve never seen the film, it’s totally worth it. Rotten Tomatoes agrees, with a staggeringly-high approval rating. Watch it before, or watch it after — doesn’t matter. You’ll appreciate it whenever.

In the meantime, here’s a bit of background that will come in handy…

Robert Loves Robert

Robert Evans desk

USA Films/Everett Collection

Robert Evans is the ultimate Robert Evans fan. The movie was narrated by Robert Evans and based on his memoir of the same name. It is totally unbiased.

He’s Kind Of A Big Deal

Robert Evans, Chinatown
Paramount Pictures

Evans produced some of Hollywood’s true classics: Chinatown, Rosemary’s Baby, The Godfather, Love Story…the list goes on. Totally legit and amazing movies.

He’s Also Kind Of A Joke

Wag The Dog
New Line Cinema

Evans has been parodied in TV shows and movies like Entourage and Wag The Dog. He is the quintessential “producer” you already have in your head.

So Wrong He’s Right

Robert Evans Slap
20th Century Film Corp

Robert Evans is a notorious narcissist whose love of self is so blind and sincere that it’s actually adorable.

There’s Something Missing

via Giphy

Entire sections of Robert Evans’ life are left out of the documentary. Maybe it’s because of timing. Maybe it’s because real life isn’t a tidy narrative. Who knows.

He Blew It

Spider coke

Evans had a pretty spectacular fall from grace. He was convicted of cocaine trafficking in the early 80’s, and was connected to a contract killing during the production of The Cotton Club. Oops.

Losing Is For Losers

Everett Collection
Everett Collection

In the Robert Evans mythology, all tragedies are just triumphs in disguise, and every story has a happy ending…for Robert Evans.

Bill Hader Jerry Wallach

With these simple facts in hand you are now prepared to thoroughly enjoy the two-part finale of Documentary Now! starting this Wednesday at 10/9c on IFC.

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Weird Roles

Anthony Michael Hall’s Most Rotten Movies

Catch Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science on Friday at 8P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Universal/Everett Collection

Anthony Michael Hall was the quintessential ’80s nerd. We love him in classics like The Breakfast Club and National Lampoon’s Vacation. But even the brainiest among us has his weak spots. In honor of Weird Science airing this Rotten Friday, we analyze Hall’s worst movies.

Weird Science (1985) 56%

A low point for John Hughes, Weird Science is way too wacky for its own good. Anthony Michael Hall’s Gary and his pal Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) create the “perfect woman.” Supernatural chaos ensues. The film costars a young Bill Paxton, floppy disks, and a general disconnect from all reality.

The Caveman’s Valentine (2001) 46%

This ambitious drama starring Samuel L. Jackson couldn’t live up to its rich premise. Jackson plays Romulus, a Juilliard-educated, paranoid schizophrenic who lives in a cave. Hall co-stars as Bob, a rich man, who wants to see Romulus play the piano. The plot centers around Romulus investigating a murder, but with so much going on, the movie never quite finds its rhythm.

All About the Benjamins (2002) 30%

Ice Cube plays a bounty hunter who teams up with Mike Epps’ con man to catch diamond thieves. Hall plays Lil J, a small-time drug dealer. It’s definitely a role we’ve never seen Hall in, but overall the movie isn’t funny or original enough to justify its violence.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) 11%

This showcase for Tom Green’s goofy gross-out comedy is often hailed as one of the worst films of all time. Green plays Gord, a 20-something slacker, who dreams of having his own animated series. Hall is Dave Davidson, a CEO of an animation studio who eventually helps Gord find success. Too bad Tom Green wasn’t so lucky.

Johnny Be Good (1988) 0%

Hall plays against type as Johnny Walker, a star quarterback. Robert Downey Jr. is his best friend and Uma Thurman plays his devoted girlfriend. Despite the support of a future A-list cast, the movie lacks central conflict and charm. Or, as TV Guide put it, “Johnny be worthless.” Ouch.

Catch the “Too Rotten to Miss” Weird Science this Friday at 8P on IFC.

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Season 6: Episode 1: Pickathon

Binge Fest

Portlandia Season 6 Now Available On DVD

The perfect addition to your locally-sourced, artisanal DVD collection.

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End of summer got you feeling like:

Portlandia Toni Screaming GIF

Ease into fall with Portlandia‘s sixth season. Relive the latest exploits of Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein’s cast of characters, including Doug and Claire’s poignant breakup, Lance’s foray into intellectual society, and the terrifying rampage of a tsukemen Noodle Monster! Plus, guest stars The Flaming Lips, Glenn Danzig, Louis C.K., Kevin Corrigan, Zoë Kravitz, and more stop by to experience what Portlandia is all about.

Pick up a copy of the DVD today, or watch full episodes and series extras now on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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