10 Ridiculous Failed Movies That Turned To Kickstarter For Funding

Twerk Island Lasaya international Kickstarter

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By Derrick Rossignol

Not getting what you want is the worst, but it’s no excuse to act like a child. Somebody tell that to German filmmaker Uwe Boll: After his Kickstarter campaign for Rampage 3: No Mercy went unfunded, he posted a video to YouTube, tastefully titled “fuck you all,” in which he wasn’t all that nice to the “sheeple” who prefer Hollywood movies to Boll classics like Blubberella.

It’s OK, Uwe. A bunch of filmmakers have had their cinematic dreams shattered due to lack of crowdfunded support… and also because they had just an awful idea. Here are 10 films that failed to get Kickstart-ed.

10. Postal 2

Not to pick on Boll, but Postal 2 was his first failed Kickstarter attempt, and it’s easy to see why nobody wants to pick up what he’s putting down: two of Boll’s movies, Blubberella and Alone in the Dark, were named two of the bottom 100 movies of all time by IMDb, and Postal 2 didn’t seem much more promising.

We’re done picking on Uwe Boll. For now.

9. The Real Contest Movie : “Twerk Island”

In an apparent attempt to ride the Miley Cyrus-endorsed twerk wave, somebody tried to make a reality-show type movie based on the briefly culturally relevant dance move. The filmmaker’s claim that “The Contest will also be broadcast During the week by MTV” also seems dubious at best.

8. FML: A Social Media Adventure

A bunch of popular Vine celebrities tried to make a movie about their journey to gain more followers. Apparently nobody wanted to pay to watch them to do anything for longer than six seconds at a time.

7. Geeks Off The Grid

A couple of technology addicts tried to go outside for a while, but they ended up missing their electronics and went home. Then they tried to secure funding so the curious public could watch shaky, low quality footage of them trying again!

6. Staring At The Camera

Somebody told Jeremy Bornstein that he has nice eyes. Naturally, he decided to try making a movie “showing myself staring at the camera for thirty minutes. Possibly more.” That’s all good, clean, boring fun, but not for $15,037 it’s not. Also, it’s not fun.

5. Lost tales of the Native Americans: The Seinfeld Tribe

A Seinfeld parody that’s the same as the real show, except Jerry and the gang are Native Americans in 1804. Even Seinfeld himself, who famously will joke about whatever he pleases, might have to cringe at this one. Adam Sandler might have been on board, though.


This “filmmaker” tried a clever ruse here: Get backers to pay for a cross-country road trip, and all he’d have to do is film himself downing an energy drink in each state for about 30 seconds. The campaign ended with $1 contributed, and that’s not getting anybody across the city, let alone the country. It won’t even buy them a Red Bull.

3. The Flying Spaghetti Monster: A Creation Story

This would have been a documentary about Pastafarianism, the kind-of-fake-but-sort-of-not-really religion that has many sarcastic-and-or-devout followers. The whole thing is grey, which might explain the lack of faith in this project. Pun absolutely intended.

2. Alien Vs Predator Vs. Terminator Trilogy

A couple things: It seems supremely doubtful that the person behind this campaign secured the rights to the Alien and Predator intellectual properties. Secondly, we know a few things about movies, and we suspect that the campaign’s $7,500 goal may not be enough to produce THREE FEATURE LENGTH FILMS.

1. Let’s Play: The Documentary

Let’s Play videos have actually become a big part of the online gaming community, but a movie about a YouTube subgenre seems a bit much. Then it hits you that when you watch the Kickstarter video for the project, you’re watching a video about a movie about videos where you watch some random person play a game. Too meta for our blood.

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Weird Roles

Anthony Michael Hall’s Most Rotten Movies

Catch Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science on Friday at 8P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Universal/Everett Collection

Anthony Michael Hall was the quintessential ’80s nerd. We love him in classics like The Breakfast Club and National Lampoon’s Vacation. But even the brainiest among us has his weak spots. In honor of Weird Science airing this Rotten Friday, we analyze Hall’s worst movies.

Weird Science (1985) 56%

A low point for John Hughes, Weird Science is way too wacky for its own good. Anthony Michael Hall’s Gary and his pal Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) create the “perfect woman.” Supernatural chaos ensues. The film costars a young Bill Paxton, floppy disks, and a general disconnect from all reality.

The Caveman’s Valentine (2001) 46%

This ambitious drama starring Samuel L. Jackson couldn’t live up to its rich premise. Jackson plays Romulus, a Juilliard-educated, paranoid schizophrenic who lives in a cave. Hall co-stars as Bob, a rich man, who wants to see Romulus play the piano. The plot centers around Romulus investigating a murder, but with so much going on, the movie never quite finds its rhythm.

All About the Benjamins (2002) 30%

Ice Cube plays a bounty hunter who teams up with Mike Epps’ con man to catch diamond thieves. Hall plays Lil J, a small-time drug dealer. It’s definitely a role we’ve never seen Hall in, but overall the movie isn’t funny or original enough to justify its violence.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) 11%

This showcase for Tom Green’s goofy gross-out comedy is often hailed as one of the worst films of all time. Green plays Gord, a 20-something slacker, who dreams of having his own animated series. Hall is Dave Davidson, a CEO of an animation studio who eventually helps Gord find success. Too bad Tom Green wasn’t so lucky.

Johnny Be Good (1988) 0%

Hall plays against type as Johnny Walker, a star quarterback. Robert Downey Jr. is his best friend and Uma Thurman plays his devoted girlfriend. Despite the support of a future A-list cast, the movie lacks central conflict and charm. Or, as TV Guide put it, “Johnny be worthless.” Ouch.

Catch the “Too Rotten to Miss” Weird Science this Friday at 8P on IFC.

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Season 6: Episode 1: Pickathon

Binge Fest

Portlandia Season 6 Now Available On DVD

The perfect addition to your locally-sourced, artisanal DVD collection.

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End of summer got you feeling like:

Portlandia Toni Screaming GIF

Ease into fall with Portlandia‘s sixth season. Relive the latest exploits of Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein’s cast of characters, including Doug and Claire’s poignant breakup, Lance’s foray into intellectual society, and the terrifying rampage of a tsukemen Noodle Monster! Plus, guest stars The Flaming Lips, Glenn Danzig, Louis C.K., Kevin Corrigan, Zoë Kravitz, and more stop by to experience what Portlandia is all about.

Pick up a copy of the DVD today, or watch full episodes and series extras now on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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Byrning Down the House

Everything You Need to Know About the Film That Inspired “Final Transmission”

Documentary Now! pays tribute to "Stop Making Sense" this Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Cinecom/courtesy Everett Collection

This week Documentary Now! is with the band. For everyone who’s ever wanted to be a roadie without leaving the couch, “Final Transmission” pulls back the curtain on experimental rock group Test Pattern’s final concert. Before you tune in Wednesday at 10P on IFC, plug your amp into this guide for Stop Making Sense, the acclaimed 1984 Talking Heads concert documentary.

Put on Your Dancing Shoes

Hailed as one of the best concert films ever created, director Jonathan Demme (Silence of the Lambs) captured the energy and eccentricities of a band known for pushing the limits of music and performance.

Make an Entrance

Lead singer David Byrne treats the concert like a story: He enters an empty stage with a boom box and sings the first song on the setlist solo, then welcomes the other members of the group to the stage one song at a time.

Steal the Spotlight

David Byrne Dancing
Cinecom/Everett Collection

Always a physical performer, Byrne infuses the stage and the film with contagious joy — jogging in place, dancing with lamps, and generally carrying the show’s high energy on his shoulders.

Suit Yourself

Byrne makes a splash in his “big suit,” a boxy business suit that grows with each song until he looks like a boy who raided his father’s closet. Don’t overthink it; on the DVD, the singer explains, “Music is very physical, and often the body understands it before the head.”

View from the Front Row

Stop Making Sense Band On Stage
Cinecom/Everett Collection

Demme (who also helmed 1987’s Swimming to Cambodia, the inspiration for this season’s Documentary Now! episode “Parker Gail’s Location is Everything”) films the show by putting viewers in the audience’s shoes. The camera rarely shows the crowd and never cuts to interviews or talking heads — except the ones onstage.

Let’s Get Digital

Tina Weymouth Keyboard
Cinecom/Everett Collection

Stop Making Sense isn’t just a good time — it’s also the first rock movie to be recorded entirely using digital audio techniques. The sound holds up more than 30 years later.

Out of Pocket

Talk about investing in your art: Talking Heads drummer Chris Frantz told Rolling Stone that the members of the band “basically put [their] life savings” into the movie, and they didn’t regret it.

Catch Documentary Now!’s tribute to Stop Making Sense when “Final Transmission” premieres Wednesday, October 12 at 10P on IFC.

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