DID YOU READ

10 Reasons Why Schwarzenegger Is The Best Action Star Ever

arnold-list

Posted by on

Austrian muscleman Arnold Schwarzenegger burst into the movie industry with his lead role in documentary Pumping Iron, and only a few years later became one of the top action stars in the business. What has made the Austrian Oak such a powerhouse in Hollywood? Here are 10 of the reasons he may well be the greatest action star to ever live.

10. He Got Thrown In Jail For Bodybuilding

During his mandatory one year service in the Austrian military, Schwarzenegger competed in and won the title of Junior Mr. Europe. Unfortunately for him, he pumped himself up by going AWOL from basic training, and his superior officers didn’t really think much of his explanation.


9. He Was The Youngest Mr. Universe Ever

Before Arnold Schwarzenegger could legally drink, he’d already been crowned the most impressive physical specimen in existence. After leaving Austria to study under bodybuilder Reg Park, he threw himself into fitness full-bore, building the muscles that would become his trademark. He won his first Mr. Universe title at 20 and would go on to take the crown three more time.


8. He Was On The Dating Game

Like many aspiring actors, Arnold hit the game show circuit to get footage for his reel. In 1973, he appeared on The Dating Game in an unforgettable segment where host Jim Lange gets the bodybuilder to give his measurements to the ladies on the other side of the curtain.


7. He Won A Golden Globe In His Third Movie

Stay Hungry, directed by Bob Rafelson, didn’t stretch Arnold’s acting chops very far – he plays an Austrian bodybuilder training for Mr. Universe. But he was one of the flick’s high points, and he got a Golden Globe for Best Acting Debut in a Motion Picture even though it wasn’t his actual debut.


6. His Body Is On The Cover Of A Grand Funk Railroad Record

The cover of boogie-blues stalwarts Grand Funk Railroad’s 1973 platter All The Girls In The World Beware depicts the group as a quartet of super-swole musclemen, but the bodies actually belong to Arnold Schwarzenegger and his fellow bodybuilders Frank Zane and Franco Columbu.


5. He (Allegedly) Has Sex Five Times A Day

Okay, this one isn’t absolutely confirmed, but it’s so badass we had to put it in. According to Tom Arnold, who starred alongside Schwarzenegger in True Lies, one of the secrets to the star’s physique is lots and lots of fornication. In an interview with the Daily Star, Tom revealed that Schwarzenegger needed to get his rocks off five times a day… for fitness purposes. I wish I could use that excuse.


4. He Owned The First Civilian Humvee

When you’re a towering pile of meat and muscle like the Austrian Oak, you can’t cram yourself into just any car. That’s why General Motors decided that the first private citizen to drive a Hummer H1, the street legal version of the Humvee transport, would be Schwarzenegger. He was given the keys to the first two off of the assembly line in 1992.


3. He Saved A Man’s Life For Real

In 2004, while swimming off the coast of Maui, Schwarzenegger spotted a fellow tourist on a boogie board having some trouble. The man was cramping up and unable to keep his body afloat, so like a true badass Arnold grabbed his tow rope and dragged the dude 100 yards to shore and safety. Let’s remember that he was 57 years old at the time.


2. He’s In The WWE Hall Of Fame

Bodybuilding and wrestling are kissing cousins, and the Governator has had a long association with the WWE. He first showed up on Smackdown in 1999, aiding Stone Cold Steve Austin by throwing him a steel chair, and he’s shown up on multiple occasions since then. In 2015, he was granted a prestigious spot in the federation’s Hall of Fame.


1. He’s Aging Gracefully

Instead of trying to hold on to his chiseled physique through plastic surgery, Arnold is letting time take its toll, and it’s just making him more awesome. Now in his sixties, Schwarzenegger is a craggy, wrinkled brick of humanity, perfect for playing the grizzled elder statesman or a Terminator on his way to the scrapheap.

Watch More
Brockmire-107-banner-3

Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

Posted by on
GIFs by Giphy

“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

Watch More
Mommie_Dearest-2

Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

Posted by on
GIFs via Giphy

The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

Watch More
Baroness-von-Sketch-Show-S1-TEMP-key-art

Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

Posted by on
GIFs via Giphy

Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

Watch More
Powered by ZergNet