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10 Reasons Why Schwarzenegger Is The Best Action Star Ever

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Austrian muscleman Arnold Schwarzenegger burst into the movie industry with his lead role in documentary Pumping Iron, and only a few years later became one of the top action stars in the business. What has made the Austrian Oak such a powerhouse in Hollywood? Here are 10 of the reasons he may well be the greatest action star to ever live.

10. He Got Thrown In Jail For Bodybuilding

During his mandatory one year service in the Austrian military, Schwarzenegger competed in and won the title of Junior Mr. Europe. Unfortunately for him, he pumped himself up by going AWOL from basic training, and his superior officers didn’t really think much of his explanation.


9. He Was The Youngest Mr. Universe Ever

Before Arnold Schwarzenegger could legally drink, he’d already been crowned the most impressive physical specimen in existence. After leaving Austria to study under bodybuilder Reg Park, he threw himself into fitness full-bore, building the muscles that would become his trademark. He won his first Mr. Universe title at 20 and would go on to take the crown three more time.


8. He Was On The Dating Game

Like many aspiring actors, Arnold hit the game show circuit to get footage for his reel. In 1973, he appeared on The Dating Game in an unforgettable segment where host Jim Lange gets the bodybuilder to give his measurements to the ladies on the other side of the curtain.


7. He Won A Golden Globe In His Third Movie

Stay Hungry, directed by Bob Rafelson, didn’t stretch Arnold’s acting chops very far – he plays an Austrian bodybuilder training for Mr. Universe. But he was one of the flick’s high points, and he got a Golden Globe for Best Acting Debut in a Motion Picture even though it wasn’t his actual debut.


6. His Body Is On The Cover Of A Grand Funk Railroad Record

The cover of boogie-blues stalwarts Grand Funk Railroad’s 1973 platter All The Girls In The World Beware depicts the group as a quartet of super-swole musclemen, but the bodies actually belong to Arnold Schwarzenegger and his fellow bodybuilders Frank Zane and Franco Columbu.


5. He (Allegedly) Has Sex Five Times A Day

Okay, this one isn’t absolutely confirmed, but it’s so badass we had to put it in. According to Tom Arnold, who starred alongside Schwarzenegger in True Lies, one of the secrets to the star’s physique is lots and lots of fornication. In an interview with the Daily Star, Tom revealed that Schwarzenegger needed to get his rocks off five times a day… for fitness purposes. I wish I could use that excuse.


4. He Owned The First Civilian Humvee

When you’re a towering pile of meat and muscle like the Austrian Oak, you can’t cram yourself into just any car. That’s why General Motors decided that the first private citizen to drive a Hummer H1, the street legal version of the Humvee transport, would be Schwarzenegger. He was given the keys to the first two off of the assembly line in 1992.


3. He Saved A Man’s Life For Real

In 2004, while swimming off the coast of Maui, Schwarzenegger spotted a fellow tourist on a boogie board having some trouble. The man was cramping up and unable to keep his body afloat, so like a true badass Arnold grabbed his tow rope and dragged the dude 100 yards to shore and safety. Let’s remember that he was 57 years old at the time.


2. He’s In The WWE Hall Of Fame

Bodybuilding and wrestling are kissing cousins, and the Governator has had a long association with the WWE. He first showed up on Smackdown in 1999, aiding Stone Cold Steve Austin by throwing him a steel chair, and he’s shown up on multiple occasions since then. In 2015, he was granted a prestigious spot in the federation’s Hall of Fame.


1. He’s Aging Gracefully

Instead of trying to hold on to his chiseled physique through plastic surgery, Arnold is letting time take its toll, and it’s just making him more awesome. Now in his sixties, Schwarzenegger is a craggy, wrinkled brick of humanity, perfect for playing the grizzled elder statesman or a Terminator on his way to the scrapheap.

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Grow TFU

Adulting Like You Mean It

Commuters makes its debut on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Jared Warner, Nick Ciavarella, and Tim Dean were once a part of Murderfist, a group of comedy writers, actors, producers, parents, and reluctant adults. Together with InstaMiniSeries’s Nikki Borges, they’re making their IFC Comedy Crib debut with the refreshingly-honest and joyfully-hilarious Commuters. The webseries follows thirtysomethings Harris and Olivia as they brave the waters of true adulthood, and it’s right on point.

Jared, Nick, Nikki and Tim were kind enough to answer a few questions about Commuters for us. Here’s a snippet of that conversation…

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IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Nick: Two 30-somethings leave the Brooklyn life behind, and move to the New Jersey suburbs in a forced attempt to “grow up.” But they soon find out they’ve got a long way to go to get to where they want to be.

IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jared: It’s a show about how f*cking stupid people who think they are smart can be.

IFC: What’s your origin story? When did you all meet and how long have you been working together?

Jared: Nick, Tim, and I were all in the sketch group Murderfist since, what, like 2004? God. Anyway, Tim and Nick left the group to pursue other frivolous things, like children and careers, but we all enjoyed writing together and kept at it. We were always more interested in storytelling than sketch comedy lends itself to, which led to our webseries Jared Posts A Personal. That was a show about being in your 20s and embracing the chaos of being young in the city. Commuters is the counterpoint, i guess. Our director Adam worked at Borders (~THE PAST!!~) with Tim, came out to a Murderfist show once, and we’ve kept him imprisoned ever since.

IFC: What was the genesis of Commuters?

Tim: Jared had an idea for a series about the more realistic, less romantic aspects of being in a serious relationship.  I moved out of the city to the suburbs and Nick got engaged out in LA.   We sort of combined all of those facets and Commuters was the end result.

IFC: How would Harris describe Olivia?

Jared: Olivia is the smartest, coolest, hottest person in the world, and Harris can’t believe he gets to be with her, even though she does overreact to everything and has no chill. Like seriously, ease up. It doesn’t always have to be ‘a thing.’

IFC: How would Olivia describe Harris?

Nikki:  Harris is smart, confident with a dry sense of humor but he’s also kind of a major chicken shit…. Kind of like if Han Solo and Barney Rubble had a baby.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Nikki:  I think this is the most accurate portrayal of what a modern relationship looks like. Expectations for what your life is ‘supposed to look like’ are confusing and often a let down but when you’re married to your best friend, it’s going to be ok because you will always find a way to make each other laugh.

IFC: Is the exciting life of NYC twentysomethings a sweet dream from which we all must awake, or is it a nightmare that we don’t realize is happening until it’s over?

Tim: Now that i’ve spent time living in the suburbs, helping to raise a two year old, y’all city folk have no fucking clue how great you’ve got it.

Nikki: I think of it similar to how I think about college. There’s a time and age for it to be glorious but no one wants to hang out with that 7th year senior. Luckily, NYC is so multifaceted that you can still have an exciting life here but it doesn’t have to be just what the twentysomethings are doing (thank god).

Jared: New York City is a garbage fire.

See the whole season of Commuters right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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C'mon Fellas

A Man Mansplains To Men

Why Baroness von Sketch Show is a must-see.

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Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to explain something to a woman that she already knows. It happens a lot, but it’s not going to happen here. Ladies, go ahead and skip to the end of this post to watch a free episode of IFC’s latest addition, Baroness von Sketch Show.

However, if you’re a man, you might actually benefit from a good mansplanation. So take a knee, lean in, and absorb the following wisdom.

No Dicks

Baroness von Sketch Show is made entirely by women, therefore this show isn’t focused on men. Can you believe it? I know what you’re thinking: how will we know when to laugh if the jokes aren’t viewed through the dusty lens of the patriarchy? Where are the thinly veiled penis jokes? Am I a bad person? In order: you will, nowhere, and yes.

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Huge Balls

Did you know that there’s more to life than poop jokes, sex jokes, body part jokes? I mean, those things are all really good things, natch, and totally edgy. But Baroness von Sketch Show does something even edgier. It holds up a brutal funhouse mirror to our everyday life. This is a bulls**t world we made, fellas.

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Oh Canada

After you watch the Canadian powerhouses of Baroness von Sketch Show and think to yourself “Dear god, this is so real” and “I’ve gotta talk about this,” do yourself a favor and think a-boot your options: Refrain from sharing your sage wisdom with any woman anywhere (believe us, she gets it). Instead, tell a fellow bro and get the mansplaining out of your system while also spreading the word about a great show.

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Dudes, that’s the deal.
Women, start reading again here:


Check out the preview episode of Baroness von Sketch Show and watch the series premiere August 2 on IFC.

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Happy Tears

Binge Don’t Cringe

Catch up on episodes of Documentary Now! and Portlandia.

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Photo Credit: GIFs via GIPHY

A brain can only take so much.

Every five minutes, all day, every day, ludicrously stressful headlines push our mental limits as we struggle to adapt to a reality that seems increasingly less real. What’s a mind to do when simple denial just isn’t good enough anymore?

Radical suggestion: repeal and replace. And by that we mean take all the bad news that keeps you up at night, press pause, and substitute it with some genuine (not nervous, for a change) laughter. Here are some of the issues on our mind.

Gender Inequality

Feminist bookstore owners by day, still feminist bookstore owners by night, Toni and Candace show the male gaze who’s boss. Learn about their origin story (SPOILER: there’s an epic dance battle) and see what happens when their own brand of empowerment gets out of hand.

Healthcare

From Candace’s heart attack to the rise of the rawvolution, this Portlandia episode proves that healthcare is vital.

Peaceful Protests

Too many online petitions, too little time? Get WOKE with Fred and Carrie when they learn how to protest.

What Could Have Been

Can’t say the name “Clinton” without bursting into tears? Documentary Now!’s masterfully political “The Bunker” sheds a cozy new light on the house that Bill and Hill built. Just pretend you don’t know how the story really ends.

Fake News

A healthy way to break the high-drama news cycle is to switch over to “Dronez”, which has all the thrills of ubiquitous adventure journalism without any of the customary depression.

The more you watch, the better you feel. So get started on past episodes of Documentary Now! and Portlandia right now at IFC.com and the IFC app.

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