DID YOU READ

10 Reasons Why Schwarzenegger Is The Best Action Star Ever

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Austrian muscleman Arnold Schwarzenegger burst into the movie industry with his lead role in documentary Pumping Iron, and only a few years later became one of the top action stars in the business. What has made the Austrian Oak such a powerhouse in Hollywood? Here are 10 of the reasons he may well be the greatest action star to ever live.

10. He Got Thrown In Jail For Bodybuilding

During his mandatory one year service in the Austrian military, Schwarzenegger competed in and won the title of Junior Mr. Europe. Unfortunately for him, he pumped himself up by going AWOL from basic training, and his superior officers didn’t really think much of his explanation.


9. He Was The Youngest Mr. Universe Ever

Before Arnold Schwarzenegger could legally drink, he’d already been crowned the most impressive physical specimen in existence. After leaving Austria to study under bodybuilder Reg Park, he threw himself into fitness full-bore, building the muscles that would become his trademark. He won his first Mr. Universe title at 20 and would go on to take the crown three more time.


8. He Was On The Dating Game

Like many aspiring actors, Arnold hit the game show circuit to get footage for his reel. In 1973, he appeared on The Dating Game in an unforgettable segment where host Jim Lange gets the bodybuilder to give his measurements to the ladies on the other side of the curtain.


7. He Won A Golden Globe In His Third Movie

Stay Hungry, directed by Bob Rafelson, didn’t stretch Arnold’s acting chops very far – he plays an Austrian bodybuilder training for Mr. Universe. But he was one of the flick’s high points, and he got a Golden Globe for Best Acting Debut in a Motion Picture even though it wasn’t his actual debut.


6. His Body Is On The Cover Of A Grand Funk Railroad Record

The cover of boogie-blues stalwarts Grand Funk Railroad’s 1973 platter All The Girls In The World Beware depicts the group as a quartet of super-swole musclemen, but the bodies actually belong to Arnold Schwarzenegger and his fellow bodybuilders Frank Zane and Franco Columbu.


5. He (Allegedly) Has Sex Five Times A Day

Okay, this one isn’t absolutely confirmed, but it’s so badass we had to put it in. According to Tom Arnold, who starred alongside Schwarzenegger in True Lies, one of the secrets to the star’s physique is lots and lots of fornication. In an interview with the Daily Star, Tom revealed that Schwarzenegger needed to get his rocks off five times a day… for fitness purposes. I wish I could use that excuse.


4. He Owned The First Civilian Humvee

When you’re a towering pile of meat and muscle like the Austrian Oak, you can’t cram yourself into just any car. That’s why General Motors decided that the first private citizen to drive a Hummer H1, the street legal version of the Humvee transport, would be Schwarzenegger. He was given the keys to the first two off of the assembly line in 1992.


3. He Saved A Man’s Life For Real

In 2004, while swimming off the coast of Maui, Schwarzenegger spotted a fellow tourist on a boogie board having some trouble. The man was cramping up and unable to keep his body afloat, so like a true badass Arnold grabbed his tow rope and dragged the dude 100 yards to shore and safety. Let’s remember that he was 57 years old at the time.


2. He’s In The WWE Hall Of Fame

Bodybuilding and wrestling are kissing cousins, and the Governator has had a long association with the WWE. He first showed up on Smackdown in 1999, aiding Stone Cold Steve Austin by throwing him a steel chair, and he’s shown up on multiple occasions since then. In 2015, he was granted a prestigious spot in the federation’s Hall of Fame.


1. He’s Aging Gracefully

Instead of trying to hold on to his chiseled physique through plastic surgery, Arnold is letting time take its toll, and it’s just making him more awesome. Now in his sixties, Schwarzenegger is a craggy, wrinkled brick of humanity, perfect for playing the grizzled elder statesman or a Terminator on his way to the scrapheap.

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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