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DID YOU READ

10 Suggestions For Donald Trump’s Campaign Song

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One of the toughest tasks for any prospective Presidential candidate is coming up with the perfect campaign song to sum up their vision. Donald Trump got in some trouble this week for using Neil Young’s “Rockin’ In The Free World” without the CSNY legend’s permission, so we thought we’d give him some suggestions for other tracks that might work better.

10. Wu-Tang Clan, “C.R.E.A.M.”

While the concept of The Donald hanging out with Method Man and Ghostface is ludicrous, imagine how badass it would be if he adopted “Cash Rules Everything Around Me” as his campaign slogan? It’s all about the money, of course, and Trump’s going to need every vote out of Shaolin he can get.


9. Rae Sremmurd, “Up Like Trump”

Mississippi-born hip-hop duo Rae Sremmurd didn’t have any big statements in mind when they recorded “Donald Trump” – in an interview with Complex, they basically just said “That’s a cool motherfucker. He’s rich as fuck. He has a suit on on a boat.” Fair enough, Rae Sremmurd. Though you basically just described The Lonely Island.


8. They Might Be Giants, “Purple Toupee”

Trump’s hairpiece is the most perplexing piece of his whole puzzle – why would a man so vain and preening wear such a disastrous wig? He could poke a little fun at his image and win some geek voters with this classic track from art-nerd rockers They Might Be Giants. Red and blue do make purple, after all, and Trump’ll need the swing votes.


7. Nas, “Blaze A 50”

Pundits recently slammed Trump when it was revealed that he paid actors $50 a head to pretend to be supporters and cheer for him at his first campaign rally. The Donald can bounce back from this easily, though – just license Nasty Nas’ 2002 track “Blaze A 50” and show the world just how little a paltry fifty bucks means to him.


6. The Time, “Donald Trump (Black Version)”

The Time are probably best-known for being Prince’s rivals in Purple Rain, but the Man in Purple was behind many of their songs. Case in point, this track from their final album, which was written and mostly performed by Prince with vocals by Morris Day. If Trump wants to reach a more diverse – and hipper – audience, this is the way to go. The song also came out in 1990, so it serves as a reminder that The Donald has been with us a long, long time.


5. Wiz Khalifa, “Real Estate”

Trump made and lost his millions primarily in the property market, so why not use that to reach out to an urban demographic courtesy of rapper Wiz Khalifa? “Real Estate” dropped on his The Chronic 2010 mixtape, and perfectly sums up the Trump aesthetic, though with a little more weed smoking.


4. ABC, “How To Be A Millionaire”

The essential appeal of Donald Trump is the American dream that you can be a dumb, untalented idiot and still get rich. (Look at the Kardashians…) British new wave band ABC’s classic cut “How To Be A Millionaire” could be an anthem for exactly the kind of people who would waste a vote on Trump.


3. Mac Miller, “Donald Trump”

Donny, baby, you’ve already got a rap song about you. Sure, you tried to sue the guy who made it, but I’m sure that’s just water under the bridge now. Mac Miller’s 2001 track appeared on his Best Day Ever mixtape and it’s perfect for Trump’s campaign, with lyrics like “take over the world while all these haters gettin’ mad.”


2. Lana Del Rey, “National Anthem”

In a world where Hillary Clinton is making Spotify playlists, Trump needs to get hip. What better way than by picking Lana Del Rey’s criticism of ostentatious living? The lyrics are just post-ironic enough for the geriatric set, while those pesky millennials will get the real meaning.


1. Hot RS, “Money Runner”

This incredible balls-out disco fusion comes off of a 1980 album by an obscure South African act and it’s so ostentatious, tacky and bizarre that it would be perfect for Donald Trump. Ditch the oldies rock and push your image to the max, man. If you’re going to win this race, you’ve got to get a little funkier.

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SO EXCITED!!!

Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”

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IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?


Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!


Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.


Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 

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IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon.

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number!

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time.

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by.

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo.

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim.

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t?

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?”

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud.

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.