DID YOU READ

A Ranking of Michael Bay’s Most Epic Explosions

Pearl Harbor Explosion

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Michael Bay just loves to blow stuff up. It’s in his nature. Now we’ve seen so many explosions over the course of the filmmaker’s career that his movies wouldn’t be the same without at least one massive display of pyrotechnics. From Armageddon to Pearl Harbor to the Transformers franchise and beyond, Bay has given audiences some of the most spectacularly ridiculous explosions. At this point, they border on the downright absurd.

And like a bottle of wine, a Michael Bay explosion only gets better with age. Looking back on his career and all that his work has wrought, here are the best explosions from this unique mind ranked from worst to best.

8. Bad Boys, Plane Explosion

It’s safe to say no one forgot their boarding pass after this scene. Bay couldn’t help himself. He just had to include this massive explosion, but it was worth the effort. Now, how do I make the baddies’ scream my new ringtone?


7. Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Invasion of Chicago

The Decepticons united their forces and waged a full-scale invasion of Chicago, tearing down buildings with the worm-like Driller and mowing down countless more with their floating ships. No wonder everyone in the next installment, Age of Extinction, were so traumatized by the Transformer threat.


6. Transformers, Attack on the military base

Think back to the first Transformers movie and remember our first taste of Michael Bay at the helm of this franchise. It came when Blackout attacked a military base and left none alive but a handful of soldiers, including Josh Duhamel’s Captain Lennox and Tyrese Gibson’s Sergeant Epps. It set the tone for the franchise and assured us that words like “budget” and “subtlety” was not in Bay’s vocabulary.


5. Bad Boys II, Mansion explosion

Bay set aside a $40 million mansion just so he could blow it up in Bad Boys II. As the New York Post cited, he and producer Jerry Bruckheimer destroyed it within a matter of minutes, and in the most glorious fashion. Limbs flying, people screaming, bazookas blasting…and this is on top of Martin Lawrence and Will Smith shooting rounds upon rounds through its walls.


4. Transformers: Age of Extinction, The final showdown

If you thought Dark of the Moon was an explosion of visual effects, Age of Extinction upped the ante even more than we thought it could. It seems like Bay threw everything he possibly could into one movie: gargantuan robots, robot dinosaurs, alien weapons, Mark Wahlberg, car racing and a massive alien invasion complete with inception horn sound effects. Too bad he forgot to include a discernible plot.


3. The Rock, Nic Cage’s explosion dive

Bay’s obsession with military tech and sweet jets began with this Nic Cage/Sean Connery action flick. Even though Cage’s FBI agent gives the all-clear, Bay can’t help still squeezing in a big explosion — complete with Cage doing a signature Bay “jump away from a massive explosion” — for the end sequence.


2. Pearl Harbor, Attack on Pearl Harbor

Bay’s new stuff is pretty astounding, but they lack the style of his earlier work. Before most of the technological advancements, the director let his imagination explode all over the screen with the attack on Pearl Harbor that saw massive war ships torn to bits in a matter of seconds and planes falling from the sky to be blown to bits in a fiery blaze.


1. Armageddon, Meteor shower

What’s more visually explosive than the demolition of major cities via meteors? Paris was wiped out in a single death blow, Grand Central Station in New York was eviscerated by one strategically placed shot, and everyone was forced to watch as The Big Apple was cut down into The Little Apple. No, The Apple Sliver.

See all airings of Bad Boys on IFC.

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Grow TFU

Adulting Like You Mean It

Commuters makes its debut on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Jared Warner, Nick Ciavarella, and Tim Dean were once a part of Murderfist, a group of comedy writers, actors, producers, parents, and reluctant adults. Together with InstaMiniSeries’s Nikki Borges, they’re making their IFC Comedy Crib debut with the refreshingly-honest and joyfully-hilarious Commuters. The webseries follows thirtysomethings Harris and Olivia as they brave the waters of true adulthood, and it’s right on point.

Jared, Nick, Nikki and Tim were kind enough to answer a few questions about Commuters for us. Here’s a snippet of that conversation…

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IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Nick: Two 30-somethings leave the Brooklyn life behind, and move to the New Jersey suburbs in a forced attempt to “grow up.” But they soon find out they’ve got a long way to go to get to where they want to be.

IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jared: It’s a show about how f*cking stupid people who think they are smart can be.

IFC: What’s your origin story? When did you all meet and how long have you been working together?

Jared: Nick, Tim, and I were all in the sketch group Murderfist since, what, like 2004? God. Anyway, Tim and Nick left the group to pursue other frivolous things, like children and careers, but we all enjoyed writing together and kept at it. We were always more interested in storytelling than sketch comedy lends itself to, which led to our webseries Jared Posts A Personal. That was a show about being in your 20s and embracing the chaos of being young in the city. Commuters is the counterpoint, i guess. Our director Adam worked at Borders (~THE PAST!!~) with Tim, came out to a Murderfist show once, and we’ve kept him imprisoned ever since.

IFC: What was the genesis of Commuters?

Tim: Jared had an idea for a series about the more realistic, less romantic aspects of being in a serious relationship.  I moved out of the city to the suburbs and Nick got engaged out in LA.   We sort of combined all of those facets and Commuters was the end result.

IFC: How would Harris describe Olivia?

Jared: Olivia is the smartest, coolest, hottest person in the world, and Harris can’t believe he gets to be with her, even though she does overreact to everything and has no chill. Like seriously, ease up. It doesn’t always have to be ‘a thing.’

IFC: How would Olivia describe Harris?

Nikki:  Harris is smart, confident with a dry sense of humor but he’s also kind of a major chicken shit…. Kind of like if Han Solo and Barney Rubble had a baby.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Nikki:  I think this is the most accurate portrayal of what a modern relationship looks like. Expectations for what your life is ‘supposed to look like’ are confusing and often a let down but when you’re married to your best friend, it’s going to be ok because you will always find a way to make each other laugh.

IFC: Is the exciting life of NYC twentysomethings a sweet dream from which we all must awake, or is it a nightmare that we don’t realize is happening until it’s over?

Tim: Now that i’ve spent time living in the suburbs, helping to raise a two year old, y’all city folk have no fucking clue how great you’ve got it.

Nikki: I think of it similar to how I think about college. There’s a time and age for it to be glorious but no one wants to hang out with that 7th year senior. Luckily, NYC is so multifaceted that you can still have an exciting life here but it doesn’t have to be just what the twentysomethings are doing (thank god).

Jared: New York City is a garbage fire.

See the whole season of Commuters right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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C'mon Fellas

A Man Mansplains To Men

Why Baroness von Sketch Show is a must-see.

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Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to explain something to a woman that she already knows. It happens a lot, but it’s not going to happen here. Ladies, go ahead and skip to the end of this post to watch a free episode of IFC’s latest addition, Baroness von Sketch Show.

However, if you’re a man, you might actually benefit from a good mansplanation. So take a knee, lean in, and absorb the following wisdom.

No Dicks

Baroness von Sketch Show is made entirely by women, therefore this show isn’t focused on men. Can you believe it? I know what you’re thinking: how will we know when to laugh if the jokes aren’t viewed through the dusty lens of the patriarchy? Where are the thinly veiled penis jokes? Am I a bad person? In order: you will, nowhere, and yes.

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Huge Balls

Did you know that there’s more to life than poop jokes, sex jokes, body part jokes? I mean, those things are all really good things, natch, and totally edgy. But Baroness von Sketch Show does something even edgier. It holds up a brutal funhouse mirror to our everyday life. This is a bulls**t world we made, fellas.

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Oh Canada

After you watch the Canadian powerhouses of Baroness von Sketch Show and think to yourself “Dear god, this is so real” and “I’ve gotta talk about this,” do yourself a favor and think a-boot your options: Refrain from sharing your sage wisdom with any woman anywhere (believe us, she gets it). Instead, tell a fellow bro and get the mansplaining out of your system while also spreading the word about a great show.

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Dudes, that’s the deal.
Women, start reading again here:


Check out the preview episode of Baroness von Sketch Show and watch the series premiere August 2 on IFC.

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Happy Tears

Binge Don’t Cringe

Catch up on episodes of Documentary Now! and Portlandia.

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Photo Credit: GIFs via GIPHY

A brain can only take so much.

Every five minutes, all day, every day, ludicrously stressful headlines push our mental limits as we struggle to adapt to a reality that seems increasingly less real. What’s a mind to do when simple denial just isn’t good enough anymore?

Radical suggestion: repeal and replace. And by that we mean take all the bad news that keeps you up at night, press pause, and substitute it with some genuine (not nervous, for a change) laughter. Here are some of the issues on our mind.

Gender Inequality

Feminist bookstore owners by day, still feminist bookstore owners by night, Toni and Candace show the male gaze who’s boss. Learn about their origin story (SPOILER: there’s an epic dance battle) and see what happens when their own brand of empowerment gets out of hand.

Healthcare

From Candace’s heart attack to the rise of the rawvolution, this Portlandia episode proves that healthcare is vital.

Peaceful Protests

Too many online petitions, too little time? Get WOKE with Fred and Carrie when they learn how to protest.

What Could Have Been

Can’t say the name “Clinton” without bursting into tears? Documentary Now!’s masterfully political “The Bunker” sheds a cozy new light on the house that Bill and Hill built. Just pretend you don’t know how the story really ends.

Fake News

A healthy way to break the high-drama news cycle is to switch over to “Dronez”, which has all the thrills of ubiquitous adventure journalism without any of the customary depression.

The more you watch, the better you feel. So get started on past episodes of Documentary Now! and Portlandia right now at IFC.com and the IFC app.

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