DID YOU READ

A Ranking of Michael Bay’s Most Epic Explosions

Pearl Harbor Explosion

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Michael Bay just loves to blow stuff up. It’s in his nature. Now we’ve seen so many explosions over the course of the filmmaker’s career that his movies wouldn’t be the same without at least one massive display of pyrotechnics. From Armageddon to Pearl Harbor to the Transformers franchise and beyond, Bay has given audiences some of the most spectacularly ridiculous explosions. At this point, they border on the downright absurd.

And like a bottle of wine, a Michael Bay explosion only gets better with age. Looking back on his career and all that his work has wrought, here are the best explosions from this unique mind ranked from worst to best.

8. Bad Boys, Plane Explosion

It’s safe to say no one forgot their boarding pass after this scene. Bay couldn’t help himself. He just had to include this massive explosion, but it was worth the effort. Now, how do I make the baddies’ scream my new ringtone?


7. Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Invasion of Chicago

The Decepticons united their forces and waged a full-scale invasion of Chicago, tearing down buildings with the worm-like Driller and mowing down countless more with their floating ships. No wonder everyone in the next installment, Age of Extinction, were so traumatized by the Transformer threat.


6. Transformers, Attack on the military base

Think back to the first Transformers movie and remember our first taste of Michael Bay at the helm of this franchise. It came when Blackout attacked a military base and left none alive but a handful of soldiers, including Josh Duhamel’s Captain Lennox and Tyrese Gibson’s Sergeant Epps. It set the tone for the franchise and assured us that words like “budget” and “subtlety” was not in Bay’s vocabulary.


5. Bad Boys II, Mansion explosion

Bay set aside a $40 million mansion just so he could blow it up in Bad Boys II. As the New York Post cited, he and producer Jerry Bruckheimer destroyed it within a matter of minutes, and in the most glorious fashion. Limbs flying, people screaming, bazookas blasting…and this is on top of Martin Lawrence and Will Smith shooting rounds upon rounds through its walls.


4. Transformers: Age of Extinction, The final showdown

If you thought Dark of the Moon was an explosion of visual effects, Age of Extinction upped the ante even more than we thought it could. It seems like Bay threw everything he possibly could into one movie: gargantuan robots, robot dinosaurs, alien weapons, Mark Wahlberg, car racing and a massive alien invasion complete with inception horn sound effects. Too bad he forgot to include a discernible plot.


3. The Rock, Nic Cage’s explosion dive

Bay’s obsession with military tech and sweet jets began with this Nic Cage/Sean Connery action flick. Even though Cage’s FBI agent gives the all-clear, Bay can’t help still squeezing in a big explosion — complete with Cage doing a signature Bay “jump away from a massive explosion” — for the end sequence.


2. Pearl Harbor, Attack on Pearl Harbor

Bay’s new stuff is pretty astounding, but they lack the style of his earlier work. Before most of the technological advancements, the director let his imagination explode all over the screen with the attack on Pearl Harbor that saw massive war ships torn to bits in a matter of seconds and planes falling from the sky to be blown to bits in a fiery blaze.


1. Armageddon, Meteor shower

What’s more visually explosive than the demolition of major cities via meteors? Paris was wiped out in a single death blow, Grand Central Station in New York was eviscerated by one strategically placed shot, and everyone was forced to watch as The Big Apple was cut down into The Little Apple. No, The Apple Sliver.

See all airings of Bad Boys on IFC.

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SAG Life

Rappers Act Up

Watch the Yo! IFC Acts Movie Marathon Memorial Day Weekend.

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Photo Credit: Courtesy of the Everett Collection and the '90s)

Memorial Day weekend: how to celebrate? Nothing quite says “screw spring—let’s do summer” like blockbuster movies starring rappers who ditched lucrative music careers in order to become actors. It happened a lot, remember? Especially in and around the ’90s. Will Smith, Eminem, Ice Cube, Ice-T, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris…icons with the hubris to try the silver screen instead and have it totally work out.

But what if more rappers had made the leap? That’s a rhetorical question—movies (and life) would’ve been better, obviously. To prove it, here are some movies that totally would’ve been more memorable with rappers.

The Godfather

Starring Biggie, not Brando.
Godfather-BIG

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Only Coolio could improve upon Gene Wilder’s performance.
Coolio-Wonka

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Billy Elliot, with a dose of Missy Elliott.
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Robin Hood: Price of Thieves

Low hanging fruit, Hollywood.
Robin-Hood-and-Lil-Jon

And of course…

Kanye-of-The-Lambs

See NONE of those movies and a whole bunch of real ones this Memorial Day weekend on IFC’s rapper-filled movie marathon.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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