DID YOU READ

10 Most Frightening Mothers in Movies

Scary Mom

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This Sunday’s marathon is all about tough guys who love their mothers, but there’s no reason moms can’t be tough too. In this feature, we’ll take a look at the most frightening, violent mothers in movies.

10. Gladys Leeman, Drop Dead Gorgeous

When you want the best for your child, you’ll do anything to get it… even murder. That’s what motivates the villain of 1999 comedy Drop Dead Gorgeous to go on a killing spree in the hopes of helping her daughter Rebecca win a beauty pageant. She sure can work a sniper rifle!


9. The Bride, Kill Bill


Never get between a mama bear and her cub, especially if that mama bear has a samurai sword. Wait, I kind of screwed up that metaphor. Beatrix Kiddo, aka the Bride, slashes her way through her former Deadly Viper buddies to get her daughter back in Tarantino’s epic Kill Bill.


8. Beverly Sutphin, Serial Mom

Kathleen Turner was born to play the psychotic Beverly Sutphin in John Waters’ suburban horror-comedy. Whether it’s beating a woman to death with a leg of lamb or making harassing obscene phone calls to a woman who stole her parking space, she’s a seriously bad mother.


7. Sarah Connor, Terminator 2


When the future of humanity is riding on your ability to keep your kid alive, you better believe it brings out the best in a mother. Linda Hamilton was tough as nails as Sarah Connor in the second Terminator film, facing nuclear apocalypse and liquid metal androids with everything she had.


6. Pamela Voorhees, Friday the 13th

People sometimes forget that it wasn’t Jason swinging the knife in the first Friday the 13th movie – it was his mom. After her son drowned in Camp Crystal Lake, Ms. Voorhees was out for revenge on those irresponsible teens.

5. Samantha Caine, The Long Kiss Goodnight

Sometimes the violence in a mom’s life is bubbling just below the surface, as in this cult Geena Davis hit where she plays a small-town schoolteacher with amnesia. When her memories start coming back, Samantha realizes that she’s actually a seriously badass killer for the CIA.


4. Joan Crawford, Mommie Dearest

Real life is often more terrifying than fiction. This ’81 biographical drama – based on a best-selling memoir – tells the story of abusive actress Joan Crawford and her adopted daughter Christina. Give it a watch. You’ll never look at wire hangers the same way again.


3. Vera Cosgrove, Dead Alive

When an infected Sumatran rat monkey bites this New Zealand dowager, she mutates into a zombie killing machine capable of generating a tornado of gory mayhem. Peter Jackson’s early splatter flicks were so much better than the Lord of the Rings movies that it’s not even funny.


2. Ma-Ma, Dredd

As played by the brilliant Lena Healey, drug lord Madeline Madrigal (or “Ma-Ma” for short) in cult hit Dredd is a vicious, amoral criminal who has no qualms slaughtering innocents by the boatload to get Judge Dredd and his partner out of the way. She’s willing to bring down the entire apartment building she lives in as one last “F you” to law enforcement.


1. Ellen Ripley, Aliens


You don’t have to be a biological mom to be a mother, and Ripley’s fierce defense of her daughter Newt against the Alien Queen (a pretty badass mamma-jamma herself) pulls out all the stops. I can’t even count how much acidic blood she’s spilled over the course of the franchise.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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