DID YOU READ

What If Tinder Came Out in The ’80s? Video Spoof Makes It So

Tinder in the 80s

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Tinder is practically an institution at this point. It’s the new OKCupid, except far more easy to completely skip past the fuglies and get straight to the real business: getting to know nice neighbors with which to play cards and go to church. At least, that would’ve probably been the selling point for this app if it were invented in the 1980s.

A new video spoof from SquirrelMonkeyCom — a group of YouTube video makers obsessed with nerdy, retro and/or just plain funny videos — and their vision of a vintage, floppy disc-powered Tinder seems pretty accurate. Watch it now.

It’s super easy to sign up! All you have to do is print out a registration form, fill it out, take a picture of yourself and paste it (using glue or tape, we presume) to the profile photo box on the form, mail it in, and then wait 5-7 business days to receive a floppy disc in the mail. Of course, you then have to install the software on your computer, which needs to have a modem and an EGA card. But then you’re good to go. See? Easy!

The ’80s version has at least three things in common with Tinder classic: it’s designed for lonely people who are shy and in need of dates. Though, we doubt anyone would take a Tinder take to church. That’s, like, counterproductive. From a Millennial standpoint, everything else seems like Stone Age technology. Can you imagine waiting 7-8 seconds for each “swipe left” move to process? All the guys would’ve likely found other means of satisfaction before they found someone to “go to church” with.

In addition to Tinder, SquirrelMonkeyCom produced a couple more videos reimagining modern technologies as ’80s applications. They’ve given this treatment to Instagram…

…Wikipedia…

…and Google.

You can watch more videos like these on their YouTube page.

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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