DID YOU READ

The H8ful Eight and 15 Other Numb3r-Infused Movie Titles

Hateful Eight

Posted by on

By Kevin Maher

Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight (or The H8ful Eight) has a lot going for it. Except for the tacky title treatment. Tarantino’s Western joins the pantheon of movie posters that force numbers into the title. The titles can be cute, corny, desperate or downright baffling. See what we mean below.

1. Lucky # Slevin (Lucky Number Slevin)

MGM

MGM

This ensemble crime-drama combines upside-down numbers and made-up words. Also, today’s audiences would read the title as “Lucky Hashtag Slevin.”


2.  2 Fast 2 Furious

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures

This is the inverted Teen Wolf Too of Fast & Furious sequels. Too bad they didn’t use the tagline “2Cute 2B 4gotten.”


3. Tak3n (Taken 3)

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

Did Liam know they were going to call it that? Is Liam willing to become the spokesman for Take 5? (Elevator pitch: When kidnappers take his candy bar he kicks a lot of ass to rescue it.)


4. Fant4stic (Fantastic Four)

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

Phonics cannot help you read this title aloud. Fant-four-stic? This title treatment makes as much sense as the Galactus cloud in Rise of the Silver Surfer.


5. 5ive Days to Midnight (Five Days to Midnight)

SyFy Channel

SyFy Channel

When spoken aloud, “5ive” sounds like a stutter. In print it just looks illiterate. Or like a CAPTCHA you’d get when trying to sign into a student loan website.


6. 5ive Girls (Five Girls)

Peace Arch Entertainment Group

Peace Arch Entertainment Group

Another example of “5ive.” And no, it’s not a movie about girls who are fans of the British boy band of the same name.


7. Se7en (Seven)

New Line Cinema

New Line Cinema

Se7en might be the first movie to cram a number into the title. So we have David Fincher to blame/thank for this corny trend.


8. Murd3r 8y Num8ers (Murder by Numbers)

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

This crime thriller holds the record for most numbers forced into a title. Note: This Sandra Bullock film was not the inspiration for the CBS math procedural Numb3rs.


9. Pokemon 4ever (Pokemon Forever)

4Kids Entertainment

4Kids Entertainment

Numbered titles are used in more than gritty crime-dramas. When a Pokemon movie uses this trick, it proves that number-infused titles have jumped the SH4RK.


10. L4yer Cake (Layer Cake)

Sony Pictures

Sony Pictures

Is this a typo? It reads more like “Foyer Cake” –- like a cake you’d find in the front room of a building. Maybe that’s a British thing like crumpets and spotted dick.


11. 7eventy 5ive (Seventy Five)

Screen Media

Screen Media

Did The Asylum produce this to trick people into thinking it’s a sequel to Se7en? Casting Rutger Hauer does make it seem like a direct-to-DVD “knockbuster.”


12. Phantasm: OblIVion (Phantasm: Oblivion) 

phantasm-4-dvd

Don Coscarelli’s fourth Phantasm is the cleverest of these titles; building a subtitle around the roman numeral. Coscarelli re-uses this trick in the upcoming Phantasm: Ravager.


13. Thir13en Ghosts (Thirteen Ghosts)

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

Thir13en Ghosts may be the most confusing example, but the movie was a game changer. Until 2001, Oscar-winner F. Murray Abraham had never appeared in a number-worded film.


14. Th1rteen R3asons Why (Thirteen Reasons Why)

Penguin Books

Penguin Books

Selena Gomez is attached to star in the movie adaptation of this best-selling YA novel. Admit it: this dopey spelling works perfectly for a YA story.


15. Cradle 2 The Grave

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

The downside of this creative spelling: some viewers thought Cradle 2 The Grave was a sequel. Fun-fact: even the German release worked a number into the title.

Watch More
Brockmire-Hank-Azaria-characters-blog

Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

Posted by on
GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

Watch More
Sneak_Peek

Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

Posted by on

There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

Watch More
POR_710_D1

Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

Posted by on

Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

Watch More
Powered by ZergNet