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DID YOU READ

The H8ful Eight and 15 Other Numb3r-Infused Movie Titles

Hateful Eight

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By Kevin Maher

Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight (or The H8ful Eight) has a lot going for it. Except for the tacky title treatment. Tarantino’s Western joins the pantheon of movie posters that force numbers into the title. The titles can be cute, corny, desperate or downright baffling. See what we mean below.

1. Lucky # Slevin (Lucky Number Slevin)

MGM

MGM

This ensemble crime-drama combines upside-down numbers and made-up words. Also, today’s audiences would read the title as “Lucky Hashtag Slevin.”


2.  2 Fast 2 Furious

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures

This is the inverted Teen Wolf Too of Fast & Furious sequels. Too bad they didn’t use the tagline “2Cute 2B 4gotten.”


3. Tak3n (Taken 3)

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

Did Liam know they were going to call it that? Is Liam willing to become the spokesman for Take 5? (Elevator pitch: When kidnappers take his candy bar he kicks a lot of ass to rescue it.)


4. Fant4stic (Fantastic Four)

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

Phonics cannot help you read this title aloud. Fant-four-stic? This title treatment makes as much sense as the Galactus cloud in Rise of the Silver Surfer.


5. 5ive Days to Midnight (Five Days to Midnight)

SyFy Channel

SyFy Channel

When spoken aloud, “5ive” sounds like a stutter. In print it just looks illiterate. Or like a CAPTCHA you’d get when trying to sign into a student loan website.


6. 5ive Girls (Five Girls)

Peace Arch Entertainment Group

Peace Arch Entertainment Group

Another example of “5ive.” And no, it’s not a movie about girls who are fans of the British boy band of the same name.


7. Se7en (Seven)

New Line Cinema

New Line Cinema

Se7en might be the first movie to cram a number into the title. So we have David Fincher to blame/thank for this corny trend.


8. Murd3r 8y Num8ers (Murder by Numbers)

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

This crime thriller holds the record for most numbers forced into a title. Note: This Sandra Bullock film was not the inspiration for the CBS math procedural Numb3rs.


9. Pokemon 4ever (Pokemon Forever)

4Kids Entertainment

4Kids Entertainment

Numbered titles are used in more than gritty crime-dramas. When a Pokemon movie uses this trick, it proves that number-infused titles have jumped the SH4RK.


10. L4yer Cake (Layer Cake)

Sony Pictures

Sony Pictures

Is this a typo? It reads more like “Foyer Cake” –- like a cake you’d find in the front room of a building. Maybe that’s a British thing like crumpets and spotted dick.


11. 7eventy 5ive (Seventy Five)

Screen Media

Screen Media

Did The Asylum produce this to trick people into thinking it’s a sequel to Se7en? Casting Rutger Hauer does make it seem like a direct-to-DVD “knockbuster.”


12. Phantasm: OblIVion (Phantasm: Oblivion) 

phantasm-4-dvd

Don Coscarelli’s fourth Phantasm is the cleverest of these titles; building a subtitle around the roman numeral. Coscarelli re-uses this trick in the upcoming Phantasm: Ravager.


13. Thir13en Ghosts (Thirteen Ghosts)

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

Thir13en Ghosts may be the most confusing example, but the movie was a game changer. Until 2001, Oscar-winner F. Murray Abraham had never appeared in a number-worded film.


14. Th1rteen R3asons Why (Thirteen Reasons Why)

Penguin Books

Penguin Books

Selena Gomez is attached to star in the movie adaptation of this best-selling YA novel. Admit it: this dopey spelling works perfectly for a YA story.


15. Cradle 2 The Grave

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

The downside of this creative spelling: some viewers thought Cradle 2 The Grave was a sequel. Fun-fact: even the German release worked a number into the title.

IFC_FOD_TV_long_haired_businessmen_table

Hacked In

Funny or Die Is Taking Over

FOD TV comes to IFC every Saturday night.

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via GIPHY

We’ve been fans of Funny or Die since we first met The Landlord. That enduring love makes it more than logical, then, that IFC is totally cool with FOD hijacking the airwaves every Saturday night. Yes, that’s happening.

The appropriately titled FOD TV looks like something pulled from public access television in the nineties. Like lo-fi broken-antenna reception and warped VHS tapes. Equal parts WTF and UHF.

Get ready for characters including The Shirtless Painter, Long-Haired Businessmen, and Pigeon Man. They’re aptly named, but for a better sense of what’s in store, here’s a taste of ASMR with Kelly Whispers:

Watch FOD TV every Saturday night during IFC’s regularly scheduled movies.

SAE_102_tout_2

Wicked Good

See More Evil

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is on Hulu.

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Okay, so you missed the entire first season of Stan Against Evil. There’s no shame in that, per se. But here’s the thing: Season 2 is just around the corner and you don’t want to lag behind. After all, Season 1 had some critical character development, not to mention countless plot twists, and a breathless finale cliffhanger that’s been begging for resolution since last fall. It also had this:

via GIPHY

The good news is that you can catch up right now on Hulu. Phew. But if you aren’t streaming yet, here’s a basic primer…

Willards Mill Is Evil

Stan spent his whole career as sheriff oblivious to the fact that his town has a nasty curse. Mostly because his recently-deceased wife was secretly killing demons and keeping Stan alive.

Demons Really Want To Kill Stan

The curse on Willards Mill stipulates that damned souls must hunt and kill each and every town sheriff, or “constable.” Oh, and these demons are shockingly creative.

via GIPHY

They Also Want To Kill Evie

Why? Because Evie’s a sheriff too, and the curse on Willard’s Mill doesn’t have a “one at a time” clause. Bummer, Evie.

Stan and Evie Must Work Together

Beating the curse will take two, baby, but that’s easier said than done because Stan doesn’t always seem to give a damn. Damn!

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Beware of Goats

It goes without saying for anyone who’s seen the show: If you know that ancient evil wants to kill you, be wary of anything that has cloven feet.

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Season 2 Is Lurking

Scary new things are slouching towards Willards Mill. An impending darkness descending on Stan, Evie and their cohort – eviler evil, more demony demons, and whatnot. And if Stan wants to survive, he’ll have to get even Stanlier.

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is now streaming right now on Hulu.

IFC_ComedyCrib_ThePlaceWeLive_SeriesImage_web

SO EXCITED!!!

Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”

via GIPHY

IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?


Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!


Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.


Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 

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IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.