Don’t watch this one at work, kiddies! The new Ted 2 trailer has hit the Interwaves, and its band is as red as your cheeks will be when you watch Mark Wahlberg try and get hard in a sperm bank waiting room. Actually, as far as a preview for a Seth MacFarlane movie goes, it’s actually as you would expect.
Watch all the NSFW hilarity below.
Of course, there’s a ton of pot smoking, phallic humor involving Red Lobster and Tom Brady’s allegedly golden member, jokes about slavery and other “shocking” material, all tied neatly together with the question of “what does it mean to be human?” But, frankly, you don’t go see Ted 2 to discover what binds us all together. You go for Tom Brady golden member jokes.
As the Ted 2 trailer explains, the sequel to MacFarlane’s comedic hit will see the foulmouthed teddy bear trying to have a baby with his girlfriend, Tami-Lynn. Ted doesn’t have the juice to do it. In fact, we’ve been trying to figure out how he’s been having sex — or, rather, what he calls sex. So he needs a sperm donation. Cue NSFW sperm bank gags. But Ted ends up having a bigger problem on his hands…
He has to prove in a court of law that he’s human, which shouldn’t be too big of a problem when your lawyer is 26 years old, smokes a ton of pot for her “migraines” and is Amanda Seyfried.
If this Ted 2 trailer is any indication, there’s going to be a lot more inappropriate shenanigans. And we’d expect nothing less from the man who had Neil Patrick Harris defecate in a bowler hat in A Million Ways to Die in the West.
Jared Warner, Nick Ciavarella, and Tim Dean were once a part of Murderfist, a group of comedy writers, actors, producers, parents, and reluctant adults. Together with InstaMiniSeries’s Nikki Borges, they’re making their IFC Comedy Crib debut with the refreshingly-honest and joyfully-hilarious Commuters. The webseries follows thirtysomethings Harris and Olivia as they brave the waters of true adulthood, and it’s right on point.
Jared, Nick, Nikki and Tim were kind enough to answer a few questions about Commuters for us. Here’s a snippet of that conversation…
IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?
Nick: Two 30-somethings leave the Brooklyn life behind, and move to the New Jersey suburbs in a forced attempt to “grow up.” But they soon find out they’ve got a long way to go to get to where they want to be.
IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?
Jared: It’s a show about how f*cking stupid people who think they are smart can be.
IFC: What’s your origin story? When did you all meet and how long have you been working together?
Jared: Nick, Tim, and I were all in the sketch group Murderfist since, what, like 2004? God. Anyway, Tim and Nick left the group to pursue other frivolous things, like children and careers, but we all enjoyed writing together and kept at it. We were always more interested in storytelling than sketch comedy lends itself to, which led to our webseries Jared Posts A Personal. That was a show about being in your 20s and embracing the chaos of being young in the city. Commuters is the counterpoint, i guess. Our director Adam worked at Borders (~THE PAST!!~) with Tim, came out to a Murderfist show once, and we’ve kept him imprisoned ever since.
IFC: What was the genesis of Commuters?
Tim: Jared had an idea for a series about the more realistic, less romantic aspects of being in a serious relationship. I moved out of the city to the suburbs and Nick got engaged out in LA. We sort of combined all of those facets and Commuters was the end result.
IFC: How would Harris describe Olivia?
Jared: Olivia is the smartest, coolest, hottest person in the world, and Harris can’t believe he gets to be with her, even though she does overreact to everything and has no chill. Like seriously, ease up. It doesn’t always have to be ‘a thing.’
IFC: How would Olivia describe Harris?
Nikki: Harris is smart, confident with a dry sense of humor but he’s also kind of a major chicken shit…. Kind of like if Han Solo and Barney Rubble had a baby.
IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?
Nikki: I think this is the most accurate portrayal of what a modern relationship looks like. Expectations for what your life is ‘supposed to look like’ are confusing and often a let down but when you’re married to your best friend, it’s going to be ok because you will always find a way to make each other laugh.
IFC: Is the exciting life of NYC twentysomethings a sweet dream from which we all must awake, or is it a nightmare that we don’t realize is happening until it’s over?
Tim: Now that i’ve spent time living in the suburbs, helping to raise a two year old, y’all city folk have no fucking clue how great you’ve got it.
Nikki: I think of it similar to how I think about college. There’s a time and age for it to be glorious but no one wants to hang out with that 7th year senior. Luckily, NYC is so multifaceted that you can still have an exciting life here but it doesn’t have to be just what the twentysomethings are doing (thank god).
Jared: New York City is a garbage fire.
See the whole season of Commuters right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to explain something to a woman that she already knows. It happens a lot, but it’s not going to happen here. Ladies, go ahead and skip to the end of this post to watch a free episode of IFC’s latest addition, Baroness von Sketch Show.
However, if you’re a man, you might actually benefit from a good mansplanation. So take a knee, lean in, and absorb the following wisdom.
Baroness von Sketch Show is made entirely by women, therefore this show isn’t focused on men. Can you believe it? I know what you’re thinking: how will we know when to laugh if the jokes aren’t viewed through the dusty lens of the patriarchy? Where are the thinly veiled penis jokes? Am I a bad person? In order: you will, nowhere, and yes.
Did you know that there’s more to life than poop jokes, sex jokes, body part jokes? I mean, those things are all really good things, natch, and totally edgy. But Baroness von Sketch Show does something even edgier. It holds up a brutal funhouse mirror to our everyday life. This is a bulls**t world we made, fellas.
After you watch the Canadian powerhouses of Baroness von Sketch Show and think to yourself “Dear god, this is so real” and “I’ve gotta talk about this,” do yourself a favor and think a-boot your options: Refrain from sharing your sage wisdom with any woman anywhere (believe us, she gets it). Instead, tell a fellow bro and get the mansplaining out of your system while also spreading the word about a great show.
Dudes, that’s the deal.
Women, start reading again here:
Check out the preview episode of Baroness von Sketch Show and watch the series premiere August 2 on IFC.
Every five minutes, all day, every day, ludicrously stressful headlines push our mental limits as we struggle to adapt to a reality that seems increasingly less real. What’s a mind to do when simple denial just isn’t good enough anymore?
Radical suggestion: repeal and replace. And by that we mean take all the bad news that keeps you up at night, press pause, and substitute it with some genuine (not nervous, for a change) laughter. Here are some of the issues on our mind.
Feminist bookstore owners by day, still feminist bookstore owners by night, Toni and Candace show the male gaze who’s boss. Learn about their origin story (SPOILER: there’s an epic dance battle) and see what happens when their own brand of empowerment gets out of hand.
From Candace’s heart attack to the rise of the rawvolution, this Portlandia episode proves that healthcare is vital.
Too many online petitions, too little time? Get WOKE with Fred and Carrie when they learn how to protest.
What Could Have Been
Can’t say the name “Clinton” without bursting into tears? Documentary Now!’s masterfully political “The Bunker” sheds a cozy new light on the house that Bill and Hill built. Just pretend you don’t know how the story really ends.
A healthy way to break the high-drama news cycle is to switch over to “Dronez”, which has all the thrills of ubiquitous adventure journalism without any of the customary depression.
The more you watch, the better you feel. So get started on past episodes of Documentary Now! and Portlandia right now at IFC.com and the IFC app.