DID YOU READ

Rush Hour 4: Face/Off 2 Combines Two Sequels For the Most Confusing Movie Ever

Rush Hour 4: Face/Off 2

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It’s gonna be a long while before we see Rush Hour 4. And by a long while, we mean probably never. The same goes for Face/Off 2. To satisfy any cravings you might have to see either of these crazy action films on the big screen, Funny or Die has made them both for us. The only thing is that they pulled a Face/Off of their own: they made Rush Hour 4 into Face/Off 2 and Face/Off 2 into Rush Hour 4, and cast Sean “Diddy” Combs and Byung-Hun Lee. It’s Rush Hour 4: Face/Off 2, and it’s incredibly confusing.

Don’t be surprised if Hollywood decides to eventually remake that Nic Cage/John Travolta movie with guys like, say, Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan. (It’s like those two have written in their contracts that they must star in a movie together every other year.) But until that happens, we have this.

Combs takes the role of Detective James Carter, made famous by Chris Tucker, while Lee takes over for Jackie Chan as Chief Inspector Lee. Naturally, the ambassador’s daughter has been kidnapped and the ransomer is asking for $50 million, aka “Beyonce kidnapping money.” That means the police force needs a quirky buddy-cop duo to find the girl and bring the culpable party to justice. But wait, wait, wait! First, they need to switch their faces. Why? Because their anonymity is compromised, or it’s, like, the ultimate symbol of East meets West, or something that we don’t quite understand.

“Sean Combs is Detective Carter, who’s actually Detective Lee, who’s played by Byung-Hun Lee, who’s actually Detective Carter.” With us so far?

I suppose this isn’t the most confusing sequel/reboot/cinematic-universe-mashup we’ve ever seen. Imagine what it’s like for a non-Marvel fan sitting through something like Avengers: Age of Ultron. We let that one slide because it’s cool and comic book-y and badass. When you look at it that way, Rush Hour 4: Face/Off 2 makes a heck of a lot more sense, doesn’t it?

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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