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DID YOU READ

An Open Letter to Star Wars By Someone Who Was Burned By the Prequels

Star Wars: Force Awakens

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Dear Star Wars,

It’s been a long time. How are you? I hear you’re doing well and really working at trying to get your act together. You look great, I won’t lie, and despite everything we’ve been through I was genuinely happy to see you. Seeing you reminded me of old times, of why I fell for you in the first place. You look like the Star Wars I always knew and loved.

But I’m cautious, Star Wars. I mean, I want this to work. I want us to work, but can you blame me for having my doubts? For being scared of falling in love all over again only to end up hurt, betrayed, and confused by the mess you ended up causing?

It took me a long time to get over what happened. I’m still not sure I’m really over it. Are you? I mean, you say you are and that you want to wipe the slate clean. To start over. To be the Star Wars you once were, but can you?

I’d be lying if I said I don’t watch the original trilogy and pine for what we once had. You were so innovative back then. All the action, the humor, the romance; the way you managed to make me believe in and love things that seemed so utterly unbelievable like Wookies and Jawas and sentient robots that seemed like real people. I’ll admit I even thought Ewoks were cute, even if they seemed to serve little purpose and slowed things down.

But then things got…weird. I know that people change, but you just went off the rails. You seemed to suffer from delusions and grandeur. You became revisionist, embellishing and rewriting what existed between us for so long. Maybe it was overconfidence, maybe it was arrogance, maybe it was a desperate attempt to seem relevant and inventive in a time when so many new things were available. (I understand that 3D is tempting, but did you really have to go there?)

You started associating yourself with some questionable people. They say you are the company you keep, so what does it say about you that you spent so much time with Jar Jar Binks? I get that you clearly have daddy issues, but after a look at the prequels, aka “Anakin: The Early Years,” we ALL have issues with your father. And his being a Sith isn’t one of them.

I had some hope when I heard Boba Fett would be in the prequels, until he ended up being an annoying little kid that served no purpose other than messing with my emotions.

Stormtrooper

And poor Obi Wan. What did he ever do to you, to us, to deserve to struggle through that sketchy time in your life, carrying the weight of your mess on his shoulders? His memory deserved better than that.

It’s been a long time for us, Star Wars. We literally grew up together. We needed to take a break, and maybe it was for the better. I needed to see other movies, explore various universes, try on a few different franchises, maybe even fall for a few new heroes. But I won’t pretend I didn’t compare a lot of them to you.

Now we’re both older, hopefully wiser. You’ve made some better friends, like this J.J. guy, and he seems to bring out the best in you. The you I fell in love with. Yeah, there’s still some feelings there, but I just don’t know if I can trust you again just yet. But I may be willing to try if you are. I just need to see a little more effort on your part first. Like maybe one more trailer where we see Han shoot Greedo’s grandson first.

Yours,

A lapsed (yet hopeful) fan

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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WTF Films

Artfully Off

Celebrity All-Star by Sisters Weekend is available now on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Sisters Weekend isn’t like other comedy groups. It’s filmmaking collaboration between besties Angelo Balassone, Michael Fails and Kat Tadesco, self-described lace-front addicts with great legs who write, direct, design and produce video sketches and cinematic shorts that are so surreally hilarious that they defy categorization. One such short film, Celebrity All-Star, is the newest addition to IFC’s Comedy Crib. Here’s what they had to say about it in a very personal email interview…

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IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.

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IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?

Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.

IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?

Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).

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IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?

Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.

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IFC: Who are your comedy idols?

Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY-  Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!

IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?

Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.

See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib

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