DID YOU READ

8 Baseball Movies That Have Zero Understanding of How Baseball Actually Works

Kid In King Arthurs Court

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Baseball season has officially begun! You know who loves baseball? Hollywood. America’s pastime and movies go together like overpriced beers and any MLB ballpark. But for every great baseball movie like Bull Durham, there’s a baseball movie that is clearly made by people who don’t know sh*t about baseball.

So whether you’re routing for your favorite team today or rolling your eyes because you couldn’t care less, we can at least all agree that these movies pack some serious WTF factor. Here are 8 movies that have an incredibly hard time grasping a relatively simple game.


8. BASEketball

In all fairness, they aren’t really trying to get baseball right. Or anything right. This movie is pretty spot-on for the type of dumb games you make up when you’re drunk with your friends.


7. Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch

Remember Bud, the overachieving Golden Retriever that could basically play every sport ever? Not only did he make every other dog’s ability to catch a frisbee or lick its own nether regions look a lot less impressive, but he also never got the memo that a dog could never play in the Major Leagues.


6. Ed

Hollywood really tried making that whole “animals playing sports” thing work in the late ’90s. Ed was not just your average chimp, though. He was apparently the Yoda of baseball, only in ape form. Could a chimp technically learn to play baseball? Sure. Could Matt LeBlanc ever have a hit movie career after this? Nope.


5. Angels in The Outfield

So the premise of this 1994 remake of the 1951 film of the same name is that some manager is an epic asshole of Lou Piniella proportions (Google the reference, non-baseball fans). Then he starts hallucinating and sees angels on the field who help the California Angels (get it??) win their division over their rival the Chicago White Sox. Only, those two teams aren’t in the same division so that would never happen.

4. Rookie of The Year

It’s a tale as old as time: Kid breaks his arm and his tendons heal too tight, leaving him with a rocket for an arm. He then gets recruited to the Majors instead of going to physical therapy to fix his serious medical condition. Also, is anyone else concerned that Gary Busey played a kid’s idol?


3. Mr. 3000

There’s no sport that’s letting any retired player talk himself back onto his old team after bailing during the playoffs. More so, there is no way a team that sucks that bad is keeping the same manager who has been losing for over a decade.


2. The Scout

There is literally no way ever that anyone is striking out 27 batters with 81 consecutive strikes and still throwing so hard he can knock the catcher down. Harry Potter has a better chance of being real than Brendan Fraser’s phenom in this movie. Even more unrealistic is George Steinbrenner letting any Yankee on the field with hair as long as Steve Nebraska’s was.


1. A Kid In King’s Arthur Court

So apparently Thomas Ian Nicholas is the MVP of bad baseball movies.

For some reason a kid gets sent back to Camelot to play baseball because he plays for a team called the Knights? This movie leaves so many questions, mainly what were the Disney execs smoking when they thought this was a good idea to green light?

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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