DID YOU READ

8 Baseball Movies That Have Zero Understanding of How Baseball Actually Works

Kid In King Arthurs Court

Posted by on

Baseball season has officially begun! You know who loves baseball? Hollywood. America’s pastime and movies go together like overpriced beers and any MLB ballpark. But for every great baseball movie like Bull Durham, there’s a baseball movie that is clearly made by people who don’t know sh*t about baseball.

So whether you’re routing for your favorite team today or rolling your eyes because you couldn’t care less, we can at least all agree that these movies pack some serious WTF factor. Here are 8 movies that have an incredibly hard time grasping a relatively simple game.


8. BASEketball

In all fairness, they aren’t really trying to get baseball right. Or anything right. This movie is pretty spot-on for the type of dumb games you make up when you’re drunk with your friends.


7. Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch

Remember Bud, the overachieving Golden Retriever that could basically play every sport ever? Not only did he make every other dog’s ability to catch a frisbee or lick its own nether regions look a lot less impressive, but he also never got the memo that a dog could never play in the Major Leagues.


6. Ed

Hollywood really tried making that whole “animals playing sports” thing work in the late ’90s. Ed was not just your average chimp, though. He was apparently the Yoda of baseball, only in ape form. Could a chimp technically learn to play baseball? Sure. Could Matt LeBlanc ever have a hit movie career after this? Nope.


5. Angels in The Outfield

So the premise of this 1994 remake of the 1951 film of the same name is that some manager is an epic asshole of Lou Piniella proportions (Google the reference, non-baseball fans). Then he starts hallucinating and sees angels on the field who help the California Angels (get it??) win their division over their rival the Chicago White Sox. Only, those two teams aren’t in the same division so that would never happen.

4. Rookie of The Year

It’s a tale as old as time: Kid breaks his arm and his tendons heal too tight, leaving him with a rocket for an arm. He then gets recruited to the Majors instead of going to physical therapy to fix his serious medical condition. Also, is anyone else concerned that Gary Busey played a kid’s idol?


3. Mr. 3000

There’s no sport that’s letting any retired player talk himself back onto his old team after bailing during the playoffs. More so, there is no way a team that sucks that bad is keeping the same manager who has been losing for over a decade.


2. The Scout

There is literally no way ever that anyone is striking out 27 batters with 81 consecutive strikes and still throwing so hard he can knock the catcher down. Harry Potter has a better chance of being real than Brendan Fraser’s phenom in this movie. Even more unrealistic is George Steinbrenner letting any Yankee on the field with hair as long as Steve Nebraska’s was.


1. A Kid In King’s Arthur Court

So apparently Thomas Ian Nicholas is the MVP of bad baseball movies.

For some reason a kid gets sent back to Camelot to play baseball because he plays for a team called the Knights? This movie leaves so many questions, mainly what were the Disney execs smoking when they thought this was a good idea to green light?

Watch More
IFC-mark-wahlberg-ice-cube-will-smith

SAG Life

Rappers Act Up

Watch the Yo! IFC Acts Movie Marathon Memorial Day Weekend.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Courtesy of the Everett Collection (and the '90s)

Memorial Day weekend: how to celebrate? Nothing quite says “screw spring—let’s do summer” like blockbuster movies starring rappers who ditched lucrative music careers in order to become actors. It happened a lot, remember? Especially in and around the ’90s. Will Smith, Eminem, Ice Cube, Ice-T, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris…icons with the hubris to try the silver screen instead and have it totally work out.

But what if more rappers had made the leap? That’s a rhetorical question—movies (and life) would’ve been better, obviously. To prove it, here are some movies that would’ve been more memorable with rappers.

The Godfather

Starring Biggie, not Brando.
Godfather-BIG

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Only Coolio could improve upon Gene Wilder’s performance.
Coolio-Wonka

Billy Elliot

Billy Elliot, with a dose of Missy Elliott.
Missy-Billy-Elliott

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Low hanging fruit, Hollywood.
Robin-Hood-and-Lil-Jon

And of course…

Kanye-of-The-Lambs

See NONE of those movies and a whole bunch of real ones this Memorial Day weekend on IFC’s rapper-filled movie marathon.

Watch More
Brockmire-107-banner-3

Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

Posted by on
GIFs by Giphy

“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

Watch More
Mommie_Dearest-2

Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

Posted by on
GIFs via Giphy

The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

Watch More
Powered by ZergNet