DID YOU READ

6 TV Shows That Need a Reboot

Married With Children

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In case you were under a rock and missed the news, Full House is coming back to TV, this time as a Netflix show called Fuller House. This is just the latest in a string of shows that’s been brought back from extinction, like Girl Meets World (the reboot of Boy Meets World), The X-Files, and the troubled Twin Peaks reboot.

Since 2015 is looking like the year of the TV comebacks, we sifted through the archives of television to come up with a few shows we think deserve another go. If any of the shows original stars want to start up a Kickstarter to get these projects off the ground, let us know. We’ll totally give you a dollar towards it.

6. Bosom Buddies

I will never not be 100% down for this. I don’t care that Tom Hanks is an A-Lister, or that the entire premise is nowhere near plausible. (Two guys dress in drag to live in a women’s only apartment complex because the rent is cheap.) Bosom Buddies needs to come back if only because, as his roles on Girls and Gotham have shown a new generation, Peter Scolari is awesome and needs his own show again.

Maybe this time around, the guys ended up turning their penchant for dressing as women into a successful drag act and are a popular draw at a cabaret in South Beach. Bosom Buddies meets The Birdcage. I’m just spitballing here, people, but don’t act like seeing Hanks and Scolari twerking to a Miley song in full blown drag wouldn’t be a riot.


5. My Two Dads

This show never made any kind of sense (why would a judge grant custody of a child to her mom’s ex-boyfriends?), but that really wasn’t ever a prerequisite for pretty much anything that happened in the ’80s.

However it DID end with Joey (aka the cool dad) moving to San Francisco with an old girlfriend and her daughter. Maybe something changed in San Fran. Maybe Joey finally realized he was living a lie and was really in love with neurotic Michael all along. Greg Evigan and Paul Reiser always had chemistry, I just don’t think anyone had the balls to call it what it was at the time.

My Two Dads can come back with a limited episode order. Make it a mini-series showing Joey and Michael’s eventual wedding. Maybe even have them adopt another kid together and give Nicole a younger sibling. It’s high time we all stop denying them the love those two men deserve with each other.


4. ALF

ALF was way ahead of its time, and considering that genre shows are dominating the airwaves, it only makes sense that the most famous alien life form (from the ’80s who isn’t E.T.) make a comeback. But there needs to be some modern twist.

Maybe this time around ALF stars in a reality show and helps the Kardashians take some city hostage or whatever it is they do. Or have him be the new Rob Kardashian. That family member obviously needs to be recast.

Or maybe add him to the cast of Grey’s Anatomy since rumor is McDreamy maybe McOuttie soon. I think ALF and Meredith Grey would make a stunning couple, no?


3. MTV’s Rock N’ Jock

I’m not even slightly kidding when I say Rock N’ Jock softball was hands down one of the greatest masterpieces to ever come out of MTV. I have been pining for the day that they bring this back. I know that there’s a rumor OG hosts Dan Cortese and Bill Bellamy are trying to make it so. Fingers crossed.

Sure, the other Rock N’ Jocks were ok, but softball took the cake. Probably because it was the one that required the least amount of skill and lent itself to the most amount of ridiculous shenanigans.

Roger McDowell was the MVP of every game because he was out of his damn mind and it was amazing. Plus anything that has Keanu Reeves on a team that Sam Kinison is the captain of is already the greatest thing ever.


2. Welcome Back, Kotter

This show used to be my favorite thing to watch when I was drunk at 3am and it was on Nick at Nite. I’m going to assume it’s just as good viewing while sober.

What isn’t to love about a cast of juvenile delinquents terrorizing the NYC public school system? But this time around, make it Welcome Back, Barbarino. John Travolta can reprise his role and take over as the ex-Sweathog-turned-teacher that returns to educate the next generation of misfits at his alma mater. Maybe then he’ll finally tell the story of the French Fry Phantom.


1. Married…With Children

Here’s the pitch: Kelly Bundy is married with kids, but her husband is in jail or something because of course Kelly would date a criminal. Bud lives in her basement, and still never gets laid, which may or may not be eerily similar to David Faustino’s life nowadays. Peggy and Al can occasionally guest star. Maybe have them babysit every once in a while when Kelly has to work the night shift at the strip club or something. Word is a Married… reboot is in the works. Let’s hope we see the return of Bud’s hip hop altar ego, Grandmaster B.

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SAG Life

Rappers Act Up

Watch the Yo! IFC Acts Movie Marathon Memorial Day Weekend.

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Photo Credit: Courtesy of the Everett Collection (and the '90s)

Memorial Day weekend: how to celebrate? Nothing quite says “screw spring—let’s do summer” like blockbuster movies starring rappers who ditched lucrative music careers in order to become actors. It happened a lot, remember? Especially in and around the ’90s. Will Smith, Eminem, Ice Cube, Ice-T, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris…icons with the hubris to try the silver screen instead and have it totally work out.

But what if more rappers had made the leap? That’s a rhetorical question—movies (and life) would’ve been better, obviously. To prove it, here are some movies that would’ve been more memorable with rappers.

The Godfather

Starring Biggie, not Brando.
Godfather-BIG

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Only Coolio could improve upon Gene Wilder’s performance.
Coolio-Wonka

Billy Elliot

Billy Elliot, with a dose of Missy Elliott.
Missy-Billy-Elliott

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Low hanging fruit, Hollywood.
Robin-Hood-and-Lil-Jon

And of course…

Kanye-of-The-Lambs

See NONE of those movies and a whole bunch of real ones this Memorial Day weekend on IFC’s rapper-filled movie marathon.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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GIFs by Giphy

“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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GIFs via Giphy

The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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