DID YOU READ

15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Clerks II

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Even if you know Kevin Smith’s best one-liners by heart, there’s probably something you don’t know about the making of Randal and Dante’s second adventure in clerking.

1. Kevin Smith came back for one last round.

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back was intended to be the final film in Smith’s fictional “View Askewniverse” that featured his connected cast of characters. That film even featured a post-credit sequence featuring God (played by Alanis Morissette, who was reprising her role from Smith’s Dogma) closing an “Askewniverse” book that says “THE END.” But Smith was inspired to return to the characters following the critical and financial failure of his film Jersey Girl.


2. The Green Hornet nearly stopped it.

Following Jersey Girl, Smith initially signed on to direct the film adaptation of The Green Hornet. Instead, he opted to return to his roots with Clerks II because the pre-production on The Green Hornet became too impersonal for the director.


3. Smith cycled through his subtitles.

The original title for Clerks II—as revealed in the credits to Dogma—was Clerks 2: Hardly Clerkin’. The title was then changed to The Passion of the Clerks (a play on Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ) for Smith’s initial drafts of the screenplay.


4. Smith did a quick edit on the screenplay.

Producer Harvey Weinstein thought Smith’s first draft of the script was too long and suggested the writer/director include high school flashback scenes featuring Dante and Randal. For the final draft of the script, Smith simply cut 15 pages and resubmitted it. Weinstein immediately gave the trimmed-down version the green light.


5. Randal was a holdout.

Actor Jeff Anderson (who plays Randal) didn’t want to appear in Clerks II because he had been typecast after the first film. Smith told Anderson over lunch that Clerks II was a movie they all needed to make. Anderson later said he was persuaded by Smith’s confidence in the material.


6. Creating terribly grainy footage was hard work.

The first movie’s distinctly grainy, black and white 16mm look proved difficult to recreate for certain scenes in Clerks II, but Smith decided to update the sequel and shoot the rest on 35mm color film. The director used Spike Lee’s 2002 film 25th Hour as a reference for the way he wanted the color film in Clerks II to look.


7. The convenience store from Clerks made a return appearance.

The Quick Stop convenience store is at 58 Leonard Ave in Leonardo, NJ.


8. Kevin Smith’s childhood home is also in the film.

It’s the pink house where Dante picks up Randal for their new job.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show comes to IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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