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DID YOU READ

10 Signs You’re In a Mob Movie

mob-movie

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Organized crime is a fascinating topic for filmmakers (especially when you consider how much of Hollywood the Mafia used to control), so there are some tropes that show up time and time again in mob movies. If you find yourself in any of these situations, you just might be in a mob movie.

1. Crime Pays…For a Little While, at Least

The bad guys in mob movies are always living lives of luxury high on the hog, much better than any of their law-abiding enemies. But eventually Johnny Law comes ‘a knockin’.


2. Just When You Think You’re Out, the Old Neighborhood Always Pulls You Back In

No matter how much cash these made men bring in, they’re always still attached to the humble working-class neighborhoods of their youth.


3. There’s a Code of Honor Among Thieves (And Vicious Killers)

No matter how awful the crooks are to the outside world, there’s always a set of rules that they abide by. You might stab a guy and stuff his body into a trash compactor, but you’d never disrespect his mother.


4. At Least One Family Has a Beef With You

Even though bad guys are supposedly all on the same side, there’s always two groups that don’t see eye to eye and go to war over it.


5. You’ve Been Patched Up By a Back Alley Surgeon

Real men of the Mob don’t go to the doctor. They always get their wounds patched up by a shady surgeon operating out of a back-alley dentist office or veterinarian hospital.


6. An Old Gangster Lectures You On the Importance of Respect

There’s always an opportunity for a senior Mafia figure to deliver some strong words on the nature of respect to a subordinate who he will inevitably have to whack.


7. Someone (Maybe You) Is a Rat

There’s always that one guy who turns on his familia and tries to profit from it, whether by informing for the police or a rival family. In the end, he is usually rewarded with either a stint in the Witness Protection Program or the “kiss of death.”


8. A Tough Guy Hitman Gets Called In

Eventually, somebody’s going to go too far and a button man will be called in to snuff them permanently. Any gangster movie worth its salt has a hit scene (or two, or three or four….).

 Everett Collection

Everett Collection


9. Pretty Much Every Cop is Crooked

Although law enforcement is usually doing its job, there’s always at least one detective who is on the side of the criminals.


10. You Can’t Have a Nice Italian Meal Without Someone Getting Whacked

Nothing’s as important to the Italian mob as food, so every movie is legally required to have a scene where the gangsters sit down to eat and someone gets killed or at the very least stabbed in the leg with a fork.

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…