DID YOU READ

The Lost Roles of Brad Pitt: 10 Movies the ‘Inglourious Basterd’ Almost Starred In

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Before Brad Pitt became a total DILF that the Internet loves, the 51-year-old actor was a Hollywood mainstay at an early age. But there were a lot of films that almost got a touch of Pitt.

While he famously appeared in films like Fight Club, Se7en and Interview with the Vampire, he was also offered other famous roles and was auditioning for even more. Whatever the reason, whether it was because he didn’t earn the filmmakers’ blessings or he turned them down for greener pastures, these films just didn’t work out for Pitt. But that hasn’t stopped us from imagining what the following movies would look like with Brad in the lead, complete with original posters by Kristy Puchko.

10. Brian McCaffrey, Backdraft

Along with Keanu Reeves and Robert Downey Jr., Brad Pitt auditioned for the role of Brian McCaffrey in Backdraft. The part eventually went to William Baldwin because he looked so much like Kurt Russell, who was playing the character’s brother. We’re sure Pitt would’ve filled out that firefighter suit as nicely as Baldwin, though.

Universal Pictures/Miramax/Kristy Puchko


9. Will Freeman, About a Boy

Of all the roles Pitt actually turned down, he gave one of the oddest excuses for About A Boy. He passed on the role of Will Freeman, a character eventually played by Hugh Grant, because he thought it was too implausible that such an attractive man would need to pick up women by pretending to be a single father. We guess if you look like Pitt, the world just throws itself at your feet.

Universal Pictures/Warner Bros./Kristy Puchko

Universal Pictures/Warner Bros./Kristy Puchko


8. Russell Hammond, Almost Famous

Speaking of odd excuses — Can you imagine what Almost Famous would look like if a young Pitt sported a mustache and tried to jump off suburban rooftops while high on drugs? That’s what almost happened. The part of Russell Hammond was originally written for the Inglourious Basterd himself. Pitt even worked with Cameron Crowe for a while before saying, “I just don’t get it enough to do it.” And then he dropped out.

Columbia Pictures/DreamWorks/Kristy Puchko

Columbia Pictures/DreamWorks/Kristy Puchko


7. Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

Better question: who wasn’t offered the lead role in American Psycho before Christian Bale landed the gig? Johnny Depp was the first, and then came Pitt. But after he dropped out, Edward Norton, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ewan McGregor were all consequently offered it and they all turned it down.

Lionsgate/Focus Features/Kristy Puchko

Lionsgate/Focus Features/Kristy Puchko


6. Jason Bourne, The Bourne Identity

If you can remember far back enough — we know, the early ‘00s is a stretch — Pitt was announced in the role of Jason Bourne in The Bourne Identity. Due to scheduling conflicts with his other spy movie, Spy Game, he dropped out, paving the way for Matt Damon to swoop in. Spy Game was a great movie, but Pitt could’ve had his own action franchise!

Universal Pictures/ Twentieth Century Fox/Kristy Puchko

Universal Pictures/ Twentieth Century Fox/Kristy Puchko


5. Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Before Johnny Depp added yet another fantastical and heavily costumed role to his resume with the bumbling eccentric Willy Wonka, Warner Bros. considered a number of actors for Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Among them were Michael Keaton, Will Smith, Jim Carrey and — you guessed it — Brad Pitt. It always seemed like Burton was going to enlist Depp, but we would’ve loved to have seen Pitt in this off-the-wall role.

Universal Pictures/ Twentieth Century Fox/Kristy Puchko

Universal Pictures/ Twentieth Century Fox/Kristy Puchko


4. Apollo 13

If given the opportunity, would you have chosen a lead role in Se7en over a lead role in Apollo 13? Both are classics and Pitt had to make the choice. He was offered one of the leading roles in the Tom Hanks film, but turned it down to star opposite Morgan Freeman in one of the greatest crime movies of all time.

Apollo 13

Universal Pictures/ New Line Cinema/Kristy Puchko


3. J.D., Heathers

Back before Brad Pitt was Brad Pitt, he auditioned for a leading role in a little film called Heathers. He didn’t get the part, though, because the producers thought he looked too nice for what the character called for. Apparently, Christian Slater looked like he could kill off his classmates.

New World Pictures/ April Films/Kristy Puchko

New World Pictures/ April Films/Kristy Puchko


2. Kevin Lomax, The Devil’s Advocate

Pitt was originally attached to the film as the sleazy defense attorney, now made famous by Keanu Reeves. This was back when Joel Schumacher of Batman Forever and The Lost Boys was at the helm. When Taylor Hackford replaced him, Pitt was out and Reeves was in. Much like the Heathers producers thought, Pitt was probably too nice for the job anyway.

Warner Bros/ Paramount Pictures/Kristy Puchko

Warner Bros/ Paramount Pictures/Kristy Puchko


1. The Departed

Remember when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were a thing? Talk about a #Throwback! Aside from the romance, they started the Plan B production company together, which had the rights to the movie Internal Affairs. Pitt envisioned the movie as a remake with him and his buddy Tom Cruise in the leading roles. However, the final result was The Departed with Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon.

Warner Bros/ Paramount Pictures/Columbia Pictures/Kristy Puchko

Warner Bros/ Paramount Pictures/Columbia Pictures/Kristy Puchko


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Bro and Tell

BFFs And Night Court For Sports

Bromance and Comeuppance On Two New Comedy Crib Series

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“Silicon Valley meets Girls meets black male educators with lots of unrealized potential.”

That’s how Carl Foreman Jr. and Anthony Gaskins categorize their new series Frank and Lamar which joins Joe Schiappa’s Sport Court in the latest wave of new series available now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. To better acquaint you with the newbies, we went right to the creators for their candid POVs. And they did not disappoint. Here are snippets of their interviews:

Frank and Lamar

via GIPHY

IFC: How would you describe Frank and Lamar to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?
Carl: Best bros from college live and work together teaching at a fancy Manhattan private school, valiantly trying to transition into a more mature phase of personal and professional life while clinging to their boyish ways.

IFC: And to a friend of a friend you met in a bar?
Carl: The same way, slightly less coherent.

Anthony: I’d probably speak about it with much louder volume, due to the bar which would probably be playing the new Kendrick Lamar album. I might also include additional jokes about Carl, or unrelated political tangents.

Carl: He really delights in randomly slandering me for no reason. I get him back though. Our rapport on the page, screen, and in real life, comes out of a lot of that back and forth.

IFC: In what way is Frank and Lamar a poignant series for this moment in time?
Carl: It tells a story I feel most people aren’t familiar with, having young black males teach in a very affluent white world, while never making it expressly about that either. Then in tackling their personal lives, we see these three-dimensional guys navigate a pivotal moment in time from a perspective I feel mainstream audiences tend not to see portrayed.

Anthony: I feel like Frank and Lamar continues to push the envelope within the genre by presenting interesting and non stereotypical content about people of color. The fact that this show brought together so many talented creative people, from the cast and crew to the producers, who believe in the project, makes the work that much more intentional and truthful. I also think it’s pretty incredible that we got to employ many of our friends!

Sport Court

Sport Court gavel

IFC: How would you describe Sport Court to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?
Joe: SPORT COURT follows Judge David Linda, a circuit court judge assigned to handle an ad hoc courtroom put together to prosecute rowdy fan behavior in the basement of the Hartford Ultradome. Think an updated Night Court.

IFC: How would you describe Sport Court to drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?
Joe: Remember when you put those firecrackers down that guy’s pants at the baseball game? It’s about a judge who works in a court in the stadium that puts you in jail right then and there. I know, you actually did spend the night in jail, but imagine you went to court right that second and didn’t have to get your brother to take off work from GameStop to take you to your hearing.

IFC: Is there a method to your madness when coming up with sports fan faux pas?
Joe: I just think of the worst things that would ruin a sporting event for everyone. Peeing in the slushy machine in open view of a crowd seemed like a good one.

IFC: Honestly now, how many of the fan transgressions are things you’ve done or thought about doing?
Joe: I’ve thought about ripping out a whole row of chairs at a theater or stadium, so I would have my own private space. I like to think of that really whenever I have to sit crammed next to lots of people. Imagine the leg room!

Check out the full seasons of Frank and Lamar and Sport Court now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”


Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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GIFS via Giphy

On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”


But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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