DID YOU READ

The 10 Biggest Jerks in Holiday Movies

Buzz Home Alone

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Holiday movies are packed with beloved characters. Perhaps that’s what makes the jerks, a-holes and dirtbags in our favorite seasonal classics stick out like expired eggnog.

Often the worst characters in holiday films aren’t straight-up villains — they’re the every day slimeballs who’re just as greedy, lazy and self-serving on Christmas as they are the other 364 days of the year. As we approach Christmas Eve, take a look at our salute to the nastiest characters in holiday movies. It’s the perfect antidote to the season of heartwarming treacle.

10. Mark, Love Actually 

Yeah, yeah, it’s sooo sweet when he holds up those cue cards for Keira Knightley that say she’s perfect or whatever. But keep in mind he’s crushing on his best friend’s wife. Dude literally was best man at their wedding a week before he took Sharpie to poster board. Mark must have ice water running through his veins, cause that’s just cold.


9. Grover Dill, A Christmas Story

Sure, Scut Farkus is a douche, but you kind of feel bad for him after the vicious beating he receives from that BB gun-toting psycho Ralphie. But look at Scut’s flunky, the oddly named Grover Dill, with his dumb hat and that face that’s just asking for Ralphie’s fists of fury. At least Scut’s an individual. Grover’s just a boot-licking toadie dressed like Marlon Brando in The Wild One.


8. Concierge, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York 

Tim Curry’s snooty concierge tries to harsh Kevin’s NYC buzz from the moment he enters the Plaza. A child in the lobby of New York City’s finest hotel (cira 1992)?? Not on Concierge’s watch. He’s the smarmiest character in the movie, which says a lot in a film that features both Uncle Frank and a cameo from Donald Trump.


7. Todd and Margo, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

With their shiny tracksuits and fancy stereo system, the Griswolds’ neighbors Todd (Nicholas Guest) and Margo (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) are basically walking cliches of late ’80s yuppie excess. They aren’t all that friendly to the Griswolds or even that nice to each other. (“Why is the carpet all wet, Todd??” “I don’t know, MARGO!!”) Still, you almost feel bad for them. They didn’t ask to be plagued by trees crashing through their window and random squirrel attacks.


6. Buzz, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

In the first Home Alone, Kevin’s older brother Buzz is your average dimwitted bully with an unfortunate looking girlfriend. But in the sequel he shows a whole different level of smarm when he puts Kevin on “trial” in front of his entire family. (It’s safe to say Buzz grew up to be a sleazy lawyer of the Saul Goodman variety.) Though we still have no idea what a “trout sniffer” is.

5. The Rest of the McCallister Family, Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Really, outside of the mom, are the McCallisters all that concerned that little Kevin is stuck home alone/lost in New York? Papa McCallister makes zero effort to get back to Kevin in either movies. Both brothers tease and bully him constantly. His sisters use phrases like “helpless idiot” and “Les Incompetent” right to his face. And what do they get for their behavior? A trip to Paris in Home Alone and a bunch of free gifts at the end of Home Alone 2 that they did absolutely nothing to earn. Had Macaulay Culkin returned for a third outing, the title should’ve been Home Alone 3: Motion for Emancipation.


4. Ghost of Christmas Present, Scrooged 

You would think that Bill Murray’s network exec Frank Cross would be the biggest jerk in the movie, seeing as how he’s the Scrooge stand-in. But Carol Kane’s perky Ghost of Christmas Present has him beat, at least in the random violence department. Kane’s ghost takes pleasure inflicting physical harm on Frank, be it via a swift kick between the legs or a toaster to the face. She should team up with that budding psychopath Kevin McCallister. Imagine the horrific torture they’d inflict upon their enemies.


3. Marcus, Bad Santa

Marcus, the double-crossing elf assistant to Billy Bob Thornton’s titular Santa, ends up being the real bad guy of this dark holiday classic. As Buddy would say, he’s quite the angry (and gun-toting) elf.


2. Mr. Gower, It’s a Wonderful Life

Besides being a drunk who nearly poisons his customers, Emil the cranky pharmacist smacks young George around and makes his ear bleed. Mr. Potter’s bad and all, but he never smacked a kid in his bum ear.


1. Uncle Frank, Home Alone 

Is there a more loathsome character in holiday movies, nay, in all of pop culture, than Uncle Frank? He’s cheap (he spends two movies mooching off of his brother), selfish (he’s more concerned about forgetting his glasses than Kevin’s well being) and sings off-key in the shower. You can just feel his hatred towards Kevin (and, really, all children) in his oft-quoted line from the first Home Alone. (“Look what ya did, ya little jerk!”)

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Holiday Extra Special

Make The Holidays ’80s Again

Enjoy the holiday cheer Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Whatever happened to the kind of crazy-yet-cozy holiday specials that blanketed the early winter airwaves of the 1980s? Unceremoniously killed by infectious ’90s jadedness? Slow fade out at the hands of early-onset millennial ennui? Whatever the reason, nixing the tradition was a huge mistake.

A huge mistake that we’re about to fix.

Announcing IFC’s Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special, starring Tony Hale. It’s a celeb-studded extravaganza in the glorious tradition of yesteryear featuring Bridget Everett, Jo Firestone, Nick Thune, Jen Kirkman, house band The Dap-Kings, and many more. And it’s at Joe’s Pub, everyone’s favorite home away from home in the Big Apple.

The yuletide cheer explodes Wednesday December 21 at 10P. But if you were born after 1989 and have no idea what void this spectacular special is going to fill, sample from this vintage selection of holiday hits:

Andy Williams and The NBC Kids Search For Santa

The quintessential holiday special. Get snuggly and turn off your brain. You won’t need it.

A Muppet Family Christmas

The Fraggles. The Muppets. The Sesame Street gang. Fate. The Jim Henson multiverse merges in this warm and fuzzy Holiday gathering.

Julie Andrews: The Sound Of Christmas

To this day a foolproof antidote to holiday cynicism. It’s cheesy, but a good cheese. In this case an Alpine Gruyère.

Star Wars Holiday Special

Okay, busted. This one was released in 1978. Still totally ’80s though. And yes that’s Bea Arthur.

Pee Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special

Pass the eggnog, and make sure it’s loaded. This special is everything you’d expect it to be and much, much more.

Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special premieres Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

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It Ain't Over Yet

A Guide to Coping with the End of Comedy Bang! Bang!

Watch the final episodes tonight at 11 and 11:30P on IFC.

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After five seasons and 110 halved-hour episodes, Scott Aukerman’s hipster comedy opus, Comedy Bang! Bang!, has come to an end. Fridays at 11 and 11:30P will never be the same. We know it can be hard for fans to adjust after the series finale of their favorite TV show. That’s why we’ve prepared this step-by-step guide to managing your grief.

Step One: Cry it out

It’s just natural. We’re sad too.
Scott crying GIF

Step Two: Read the CB!B! IMDB Trivia Page

The show is over and it feels like you’ve lost a friend. But how well did you really know this friend? Head over to Comedy Bang! Bang!’s IMDB page to find out some things you may not have known…like that it’s “based on a Civil War battle of the same name” or that “Reggie Watts was actually born with the name Theodore Leopold The Third.”

Step Three: Listen to the podcast

One fascinating piece of CB!B! trivia that you might not learn from IMDB is that there’s a podcast that shares the same name as the TV show. It’s even hosted by Scott Aukerman! It’s not exactly like watching the TV show on a Friday night, but that’s only because each episode is released Monday morning. If you close your eyes, the podcast is just like watching the show with your eyes closed!

Step Four: Watch brand new CB!B! clips?!

The best way to cope with the end of Comedy Bang! Bang! is to completely ignore that it’s over — because it’s not. In an unprecedented move, IFC is opening up the bonus CB!B! content vault. There are four brand new, never-before-seen sketches featuring Scott Aukerman, Kid Cudi, and “Weird Al” Yankovic ready for you to view on the IFC App. There’s also one right here, below this paragraph! Watch all four b-b-bonus clips and feel better.

Binge the entire final season, plus exclusive sketches, right now on the IFC app.

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Everybody Sweats Now

The Four-Day Sweatsgiving Weekend On IFC

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This long holiday weekend is your time to gobble gobble gobble and give heartfelt thanks—thanks for the comfort and forgiveness of sweatpants. Because when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing more wholesome and American than stuffing yourself stupid and spending endless hours in front of the TV in your softest of softests.

So get the sweats, grab the remote and join IFC for four perfect days of entertainment.

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It all starts with a 24-hour T-day marathon of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then continues Friday with an all-day binge of Stan Against Evil.

By Saturday, the couch will have molded to your shape. Which is good, because you’ll be nestled in for back-to-back Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.

Finally, come Sunday it’s time to put the sweat back in your sweatpants with The Shining, The Exorcist, The Chronicles of Riddick, Terminator 2, and Blade: Trinity. They totally count as cardio.

As if you need more convincing, here’s Martha Wash and the IFC&C Music Factory to hammer the point home.

The Sweatsgiving Weekend starts Thursday on IFC

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