David Sedaris

11 David Sedaris Quotes That Will Change Your Life

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Photo credit: Huffington Post

In his latest book Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls, David Sedaris writes: “As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.” While his thoughts may not be “grown-up” (in his eyes, at least) they are consistently funny, introspective and packed with sarcastic nuggets of wisdom.

Below are 11 quotes that will change your life, or at least provide you with material for you next Facebook status. Give it a read and catch David on tour this fall.

For a deeper dive into Sedaris’ brilliant mind, head here to purchase Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls – now in paperback.

11.

talk-pretty
From Me Talk Pretty One Day

Photo courtesy davidsedarisbooks.com

10.

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From Naked

Photo courtesy David Sedaris Facebook

9.

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From Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Photo courtesy David Sedaris Facebook

8.

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From Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Photo courtesy davidsedarisbooks.com

7.

engulfed
From When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Photo courtesy davidsedarisbooks.com

6.

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From When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Photo courtesy David Sedaris Facebook

5.

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From Holidays on Ice

Photo courtesy davidsedarisbooks.com

4.

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From Holidays on Ice

Photo courtesy David Sedaris Facebook

3.

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From Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

Photo courtesy David Sedaris Facebook

2.

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From Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

Photo courtesy David Sedaris Facebook

1.

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From Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

Photo courtesy David Sedaris Facebook

Head to davidsedarisbooks.com to purchase Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls (now in paperback!) and other David Sedaris books.

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Want more inspirational literary quotes? Check out Carrie Brownstein’s new book Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl.

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”


Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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GIFS via Giphy

On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”


But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.

via GIPHY

It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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