DID YOU READ

10 Puppets That Will Give You the Creeps

saw-puppet-fix

Posted by on

With their dead eyes and permanently frozen smiles, puppets tap into our deep-seated fear that at any moment our childhood playthings could come alive and seek revenge for dressing them up in cutesy outfits. It also doesn’t help that their lack of a soul makes them easy vessels for demons or the spirits of serial killers. Basically, puppets are terrifying.

In honor of Billy, that ironic torture-loving puppet from the Saw franchise, here are 10 pop culture puppets that still give us the heebie jeebies.

10. The Crypt Keeper, Tales From the Crypt (1989- 1996)

We’ll be honest — we put the Tales from the Crypt host on this list just so we could share the above video of his many delicious puns. Warning! Severe pun-ishment ahead.


9. Aughra, The Dark Crystal (1982)

You thought we were going to pick the Skeksis, didn’t you? While they’re pretty freaky, Aughra is easily the most horrifying thing to ever come out of the Jim Henson Workshop. She’s like the demon spawn of The Cryptkeeper and Yoda with the voice of Maggie Smith from Downton Abbey.


8. Blade, Puppet Master

To be fair, all of the puppets in the Puppet Master franchise are pretty creepy. (Well, except for Kamikaze. He’s just uncomfortably racist.) But we have to give the nod to Blade, the leader of Andre Toulon’s army of killer dolls. Is it us, or does he sort of look like Edgar Winter?


7. Dolly Dearest, Dolly Dearest (1991)

The female answer to Chucky, Dolly Dearest was a Betsy Wetsy-type doll that came to life thanks to an evil Mayan spirit. Unlike Chucky, she pretty much stayed in the ’90s.


6. Zuni Doll, Trilogy of Terror (1975)

The Zuni warrior doll famously menaced Karen Black in the 1975 TV movie Trilogy of Terror, aka the movie that caused many a child to wonder if their Major Matt Mason figure was watching them while they slept.

5. Fats, Magic (1978)

Richard Attenborough, aka the old guy from Jurassic Park, directed a young Anthony Hopkins in this psychological thriller about a ventriloquist dummy named Fats who becomes obsessed with its owner. The trailer, where Fats’ eyes roll back in his head, was supposedly pulled from TV airings after parents complained that it was giving their kids nightmares.


4. Tiffany, Bride of Chucky

After multiple sequels, Chucky isn’t all that scary anymore. But we still can’t get the image of Tiffany, the titular bride of Chucky, out of our brain. It’s like someone mashed together Sharon Stone circa 1993 and a Bratz doll and called it a day.


3. Pinocchio, Pinocchio’s Revenge (1996)

This twisted take on the classic children’s story finds a family plagued by a Pinocchio puppet that’s been possessed by the spirit of a child murderer or something. Here’s something eerie: it was released the same year as the Jonathan Taylor Thomas vehicle The Adventures of Pinocchio. Looking back, the JTT Pinocchio is actually far more horrifying than the Chucky wannabe in this low-budget horror flick.


2. Greta, Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)

Basically the Smurfette of the Gremlins-verse, Greta is the only female Gremlin and also the only one who is attracted to humans for some reason. Since we never got a third Gremlins movie, we can only assume she’s currently living a quiet life in the suburbs with her husband Forster.


1. Hugo, Dead of Night (1945)

Before Fats there was Hugo, a fussy ventriloquist dummy who drives his owner mad. He earns our top spot for paving the way for evil snarky puppets everywhere.


Catch a Saw marathon today, starting with Saw at 4:15p followed by Saw III, Saw IV and Saw V. Speaking of Saw, ever wonder what it would be like if it was a game show?

video player loading . . .
Watch More
Tony-Hale-Joes-Pub-3

Holiday Extra Special

Make The Holidays ’80s Again

Enjoy the holiday cheer Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Whatever happened to the kind of crazy-yet-cozy holiday specials that blanketed the early winter airwaves of the 1980s? Unceremoniously killed by infectious ’90s jadedness? Slow fade out at the hands of early-onset millennial ennui? Whatever the reason, nixing the tradition was a huge mistake.

A huge mistake that we’re about to fix.

Announcing IFC’s Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special, starring Tony Hale. It’s a celeb-studded extravaganza in the glorious tradition of yesteryear featuring Bridget Everett, Jo Firestone, Nick Thune, Jen Kirkman, house band The Dap-Kings, and many more. And it’s at Joe’s Pub, everyone’s favorite home away from home in the Big Apple.

The yuletide cheer explodes Wednesday December 21 at 10P. But if you were born after 1989 and have no idea what void this spectacular special is going to fill, sample from this vintage selection of holiday hits:

Andy Williams and The NBC Kids Search For Santa

The quintessential holiday special. Get snuggly and turn off your brain. You won’t need it.

A Muppet Family Christmas

The Fraggles. The Muppets. The Sesame Street gang. Fate. The Jim Henson multiverse merges in this warm and fuzzy Holiday gathering.

Julie Andrews: The Sound Of Christmas

To this day a foolproof antidote to holiday cynicism. It’s cheesy, but a good cheese. In this case an Alpine Gruyère.

Star Wars Holiday Special

Okay, busted. This one was released in 1978. Still totally ’80s though. And yes that’s Bea Arthur.

Pee Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special

Pass the eggnog, and make sure it’s loaded. This special is everything you’d expect it to be and much, much more.

Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special premieres Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

Watch More
CBB_519_tout_1

It Ain't Over Yet

A Guide to Coping with the End of Comedy Bang! Bang!

Watch the final episodes tonight at 11 and 11:30P on IFC.

Posted by on

After five seasons and 110 halved-hour episodes, Scott Aukerman’s hipster comedy opus, Comedy Bang! Bang!, has come to an end. Fridays at 11 and 11:30P will never be the same. We know it can be hard for fans to adjust after the series finale of their favorite TV show. That’s why we’ve prepared this step-by-step guide to managing your grief.

Step One: Cry it out

It’s just natural. We’re sad too.
Scott crying GIF

Step Two: Read the CB!B! IMDB Trivia Page

The show is over and it feels like you’ve lost a friend. But how well did you really know this friend? Head over to Comedy Bang! Bang!’s IMDB page to find out some things you may not have known…like that it’s “based on a Civil War battle of the same name” or that “Reggie Watts was actually born with the name Theodore Leopold The Third.”

Step Three: Listen to the podcast

One fascinating piece of CB!B! trivia that you might not learn from IMDB is that there’s a podcast that shares the same name as the TV show. It’s even hosted by Scott Aukerman! It’s not exactly like watching the TV show on a Friday night, but that’s only because each episode is released Monday morning. If you close your eyes, the podcast is just like watching the show with your eyes closed!

Step Four: Watch brand new CB!B! clips?!

The best way to cope with the end of Comedy Bang! Bang! is to completely ignore that it’s over — because it’s not. In an unprecedented move, IFC is opening up the bonus CB!B! content vault. There are four brand new, never-before-seen sketches featuring Scott Aukerman, Kid Cudi, and “Weird Al” Yankovic ready for you to view on the IFC App. There’s also one right here, below this paragraph! Watch all four b-b-bonus clips and feel better.

Binge the entire final season, plus exclusive sketches, right now on the IFC app.

Watch More
Watch-IFC

Everybody Sweats Now

The Four-Day Sweatsgiving Weekend On IFC

Posted by on

This long holiday weekend is your time to gobble gobble gobble and give heartfelt thanks—thanks for the comfort and forgiveness of sweatpants. Because when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing more wholesome and American than stuffing yourself stupid and spending endless hours in front of the TV in your softest of softests.

So get the sweats, grab the remote and join IFC for four perfect days of entertainment.

sweatsgiving
It all starts with a 24-hour T-day marathon of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then continues Friday with an all-day binge of Stan Against Evil.

By Saturday, the couch will have molded to your shape. Which is good, because you’ll be nestled in for back-to-back Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.

Finally, come Sunday it’s time to put the sweat back in your sweatpants with The Shining, The Exorcist, The Chronicles of Riddick, Terminator 2, and Blade: Trinity. They totally count as cardio.

As if you need more convincing, here’s Martha Wash and the IFC&C Music Factory to hammer the point home.

The Sweatsgiving Weekend starts Thursday on IFC

Watch More
Powered by ZergNet