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DID YOU READ

10 Puppets That Will Give You the Creeps

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With their dead eyes and permanently frozen smiles, puppets tap into our deep-seated fear that at any moment our childhood playthings could come alive and seek revenge for dressing them up in cutesy outfits. It also doesn’t help that their lack of a soul makes them easy vessels for demons or the spirits of serial killers. Basically, puppets are terrifying.

In honor of Billy, that ironic torture-loving puppet from the Saw franchise, here are 10 pop culture puppets that still give us the heebie jeebies.

10. The Crypt Keeper, Tales From the Crypt (1989- 1996)

We’ll be honest — we put the Tales from the Crypt host on this list just so we could share the above video of his many delicious puns. Warning! Severe pun-ishment ahead.


9. Aughra, The Dark Crystal (1982)

You thought we were going to pick the Skeksis, didn’t you? While they’re pretty freaky, Aughra is easily the most horrifying thing to ever come out of the Jim Henson Workshop. She’s like the demon spawn of The Cryptkeeper and Yoda with the voice of Maggie Smith from Downton Abbey.


8. Blade, Puppet Master

To be fair, all of the puppets in the Puppet Master franchise are pretty creepy. (Well, except for Kamikaze. He’s just uncomfortably racist.) But we have to give the nod to Blade, the leader of Andre Toulon’s army of killer dolls. Is it us, or does he sort of look like Edgar Winter?


7. Dolly Dearest, Dolly Dearest (1991)

The female answer to Chucky, Dolly Dearest was a Betsy Wetsy-type doll that came to life thanks to an evil Mayan spirit. Unlike Chucky, she pretty much stayed in the ’90s.


6. Zuni Doll, Trilogy of Terror (1975)

The Zuni warrior doll famously menaced Karen Black in the 1975 TV movie Trilogy of Terror, aka the movie that caused many a child to wonder if their Major Matt Mason figure was watching them while they slept.

5. Fats, Magic (1978)

Richard Attenborough, aka the old guy from Jurassic Park, directed a young Anthony Hopkins in this psychological thriller about a ventriloquist dummy named Fats who becomes obsessed with its owner. The trailer, where Fats’ eyes roll back in his head, was supposedly pulled from TV airings after parents complained that it was giving their kids nightmares.


4. Tiffany, Bride of Chucky

After multiple sequels, Chucky isn’t all that scary anymore. But we still can’t get the image of Tiffany, the titular bride of Chucky, out of our brain. It’s like someone mashed together Sharon Stone circa 1993 and a Bratz doll and called it a day.


3. Pinocchio, Pinocchio’s Revenge (1996)

This twisted take on the classic children’s story finds a family plagued by a Pinocchio puppet that’s been possessed by the spirit of a child murderer or something. Here’s something eerie: it was released the same year as the Jonathan Taylor Thomas vehicle The Adventures of Pinocchio. Looking back, the JTT Pinocchio is actually far more horrifying than the Chucky wannabe in this low-budget horror flick.


2. Greta, Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)

Basically the Smurfette of the Gremlins-verse, Greta is the only female Gremlin and also the only one who is attracted to humans for some reason. Since we never got a third Gremlins movie, we can only assume she’s currently living a quiet life in the suburbs with her husband Forster.


1. Hugo, Dead of Night (1945)

Before Fats there was Hugo, a fussy ventriloquist dummy who drives his owner mad. He earns our top spot for paving the way for evil snarky puppets everywhere.


Catch a Saw marathon today, starting with Saw at 4:15p followed by Saw III, Saw IV and Saw V. Speaking of Saw, ever wonder what it would be like if it was a game show?

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…