In Comedy Crib’s new series Does Dave Know We’re Here?, the gang arrives at Dave’s house and texts him to let him know that they’re waiting outside. Weirdly, though, he doesn’t come out to meet them. To kill time in the car until he’s ready, they decide to play a game. That’s when things get crazy.
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10 Classic Movie Lines That Were Completely Unscripted
Technically, they decide to play lots of games and that’s when the show starts to feel like the modern day answer to Waiting for Godot. Will Dave ever come out? You’ll have to watch and find out. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to learn how to play “Father Father Where’s Your Spoon?” for our next road trip.
For us, a sick day is best spent on the day on the couch, watching episodes of Portlandia on Netflix (guessing!) eating bowls of chicken soup, and sipping weak tea. But Karen didn’t count on the team spirit that binds Paul’s amateur hockey team together. So when the Chubbys find out that one of their teammates is in need, they have no choice but to be there for him–whether his wife likes it or not. Find out what happens when Benders airs tonight at 10P on IFC.
They say that behind every squat, successful British writer-producer is a lanky, six-foot-seven bespectacled co-creator. All right, maybe no one said that ever, but it certainly applies to the duo responsible for some of the most awkward moments in television history. Masters of cringe comedy Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant produced The Office, Extras and Life’s Too Short — along with many other moments that caused viewers to avert their eyes and squirm in their seats. Even when flying solo in shows like Hello Ladies, Merchant can provide just as many unbearably uncomfortable moments as an incompetent talent agent, an inelegant pick-up artist or just a bloke sharing a story about being turned down by a nightclub doorman.
1. Performing Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty,” Lip Sync Battle
When you have to sway a crowd and you’re built like a flailing-arm inflatable balloon man, you gotta play to your strengths. So when tasked to perform Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty” on Lip Sync Battle, Merchant proudly bared his midriff, upper thighs and soul in a cutoff T-shirt and flared leather chaps. While we applaud his self-confidence, we don’t have the inner strength to be caught dead doing that.
2. Discussing his first Golden Globe win, The Graham Norton Show
It’s hard to imagine a time when The Office was something of an underdog, but the original UK version was just a plucky upstart when it won its first Golden Globe. Unfortunately for the then-unknown Gervais and Merchant, their long, awkward walk to the stage was punctuated by the announcer mispronouncing their names and Stephen’s head getting cut off for the front page photo.
3. The Oggmonster, The Office
Although Gervais’ David Brent was the poster boy for The Office, Merchant only appeared twice in the original series as Gareth’s gangly pal Nathan, AKA The Oggmonster. Even more ungainly and off-putting than the Assistant to the Regional Manager, Oggy is pushed to tears by David Brent’s relentless joshing about his appearance. We feel for ya, Oggy.
4. Nudie pen, Extras
In this very NSFW clip from Extras, Merchant plays the highly incompetent agent Darren who, between failing to get acting work for Gervais’ Andy, is caught in flagrante in the company of a novelty nudie pen. Inappropriate, unprofessional and utterly humiliating given the focal point, his moment of self-gratification is somewhat vindicated when assistant Barry is caught doing the same thing.
5. Trip to Rio, The Ricky Gervais Show
Debuting as a radio program in 2001, The Ricky Gervais Show was among the first wildly successful podcasts and spawned countless comedy audio programs in the years since. Co-host and whipping boy Karl Pilkington was the breakout star, but Merchant supplied a heapin’ helpin’ of embarrassment with cringeworthy anecdotes, including this story of his trip to Carnival in Rio de Janeiro.
Without Gervais on the roster, Merchant shined as hopeless romantic Stuart Pritchard in HBO’s Hello Ladies. Showcasing his true-to-life awkwardness around women, the sadly short-lived series upped the cringe-ante that he and Gervais injected into The Office — and this torturous nightclub scene is perfect proof.
7. Eager wedding guest, Hello Ladies
As we all know, weddings are a meet-cute hotbed, but it definitely requires optimal positioning. Unfortunately for the viewer’s nerve, Stuart is keenly aware of this. Persistent past the point of rejection, he monopolizes the line to congratulate the newlyweds and wedges himself into a table with single women. Eagerness has never been so unsettling.
8. Denying Warwick Davis a loan, Life’s Too Short
Having to turn down a friend in need is so unbearable, most of us will compromise our comfort with favors just to avoid it. Not surprisingly, Gervais and Merchant — playing heightened versions of themselves — don’t have an issue with sidestepping support for diminutive actor Warwick Davis when he asks the successful team for a loan.
9. Behind-the-scenes dance party, Extras
Yes, it’s Stephen dancing for the second time on this list. But honestly, it’s never not cringeworthy.
10. Nightclub zinger, Conan
Single life is unanimously the worst, but it can be easily mitigated through fortune and stardom. And while Stephen Merchant is a household name among comedy geeks, his notoriety has yet to hit the radar of certain LA nightclub doormen. Appearing on Conan, Merchant shares a story of trying to get into a nightclub but being thwarted by the bouncer at the door with a devastating putdown.
Some of the best science-fiction movies pose the most important question: what are we going to eat? When humans explore far off planets, it’s inevitable that they will seek out new snacks. Before you catch the Star Trek movies on IFC this month, enjoy this buffet of strange alien foods.
8. Akrennian Beetle Sashimi, Titan A.E.
Titan A.E. reverses the usual science fiction plot by destroying Earth at the start of the movie. Planetarily homeless humans then have to get by however they can, and that includes eating live insects in xeno-cafeterias. Cale Tucker’s simple requests for ketchup, or that the food at least be cooked, fall on deaf alien sensing organs.
7. Klingon Blood Wine, Star Trek franchise
Klingons are what happens when Vikings invent warp drive. Their favorite things are fighting and drinking, and Klingon Blood Wine lets them enjoy both passions simultaneously.
6. Alien Grubs, Enemy Mine
20th Century Fox
Aliens just can’t get enough of that delicious insect goodness, and the only thing they enjoy more than biting a thorax in half is offering the other dripping chunk to the nearest disgusted human. Enemy Mine saw Dennis Quaid and an alien bond over roast bug so hard that they ended up having a kid. It’s apparently a more romantic meal than we thought.
5. Kep-mok Blood Ticks, Galaxy Quest
When the Galaxy Quest crew find their fictional starship built by real aliens, they get to enjoy everything they ever acted out on television. Except for poor Doctor Lazarus, who’s saddled with fictional beliefs, an adoring fan, and a big bowl of Kep-mok Blood Ticks.
4. Iguana-Chicken, Stargate
Stargate would spawn an incredibly popular TV series and is one of the few science-fiction franchises to explain why everyone in the galaxy is pretty much “humanoid with bits of stuff on their foreheads.” Another common factor is apparently food. Dr. Daniel Jackson’s professional opinion on a giant xeno-iguana is that it “tastes like chicken” — a sentiment he’d repeat during the rest of the series.
3. Racht, Star Trek franchise
Many aliens seem to insist on eating bugs, but the Klingons are higher-brow (pun intended) than that. A big bowl of “racht” is considered quite tasty, but must be served live and squishy. Any chef silly enough to kill or cook the worms may end up on the receiving end of a bat’leth swipe to the face.
2. Pizza the Hutt, Spaceballs
While also a living, talking character, Pizza the Hutt is the most accidentally horrific food ever filmed. Created as a pun-y joke for Spaceballs, the constantly-dripping Hutt is disturbing enough even before his assistant Vinnie starts eating him. Even Barf finds this pizza disgusting.
1. Humans, Return of the Jedi
Everyone forgets that the Ewoks wanted to eat Han, Luke, and the rest in Return of the Jedi. The cuddly cannibals would go on to become a franchising bonanza, with many kids of the ’80s owning their own toy Ewok Village/”Human Barbecue” playset.