DID YOU READ

Maggie Carey Talks Dirty About The To Do List

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For every movie about a guy’s quest to lose his virginity, there’s a girl’s story left untold — but The To Do List has that on the top of its list to remedy. Our heroine, Brandy Klark, played with much aplomb by Aubrey Plaza, is her graduating high school class’ valedictorian, but she has a singular goal to achieve before she starts college — and it’s to sleep with hot older guy about town Rusty Waters (played by Scott Porter). Since she’s a virgin, her plan is to get some experience under her belt first, so she makes a checklist of every sexual practice she’s ever heard of, with the goal to acquire skills she thinks it would be necessary to finally “graduate” in this arena.

“People said, ‘Aubrey’s too pretty. Guys would just sleep with her, no problem,'” the film’s writer/director Maggie Carey told IFC. “But she doesn’t want just any boy. She wants a hot college boy, and she has no way to wow him. She’s inarticulate in front of him.”

Brandy, however, is far from inarticulate in front of everybody else. She’s the quintessential high-achieving smart girl at school, who in any other movie or sitcom would be portrayed as a nerd, even if she’s a cute nerd. Think Carol Seavers on Growing Pains, Jesse on Saved by the Bell, Willow on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tracy Flick in Election, Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series. Some of these girls are referenced visually in the film, which takes place in 1993, since the costume designer actually tracked down wardrobe items from Saved by the Bell and Beverly Hills, 90210. “When Rachel Bilson shows up at the pool with a great black and white print with the midriff showing, that was something Donna would have worn,” Carey said.

Although these girls did sometimes get the hot guy (or hot girl, in Willow’s case), they usually had some degree of romantic feeling about it. The ones who were a little more cynical about it — Stacy in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Ferris and Angel in Little Darlings — had to pay a price of sorts for their nonchalance.”One thing that was very important to me is that losing it wasn’t a bad thing,” Carey said. “I didn’t want Brandy to regret it. It didn’t happen as she thought it would, or the way she expected it would, but she was in control. The audience never had to be worried for her, so you’re not uncomfortable.”

Some of Brandy’s first experiences with making out, digital stimulation, and hand jobs are with her male study partner Cameron (played by Johnny Simmons). From his perspective, this constitutes a romance, but not in Brandy’s eyes.

“That was something that even when I was trying to get the movie financed, marketed, and tested, people kept calling it a romantic comedy,” Carey laughed. “But this is not romantic! This is a comedy comedy, not a romantic comedy. Don’t get me wrong. I love romantic comedies, but that’s not what this is. Brandy is stereotypically male, and Cameron is stereotypically female, because he’s sappy about it, and she’s more methodical, treating sex like she’s studying for a test.”

Hence her penchant for wanting to get the terminology right. A funny discussion between Brandy’s friends (played by Alia Shawkat and Sarah Steele) is a debate about what to call a particular sex act, pre-Internet when you couldn’t look up sex slang on Google. “It’s the one most people kept asking me about, when I sent out a draft of the script for feedback,” Carey said. “Fingerbang. One person said, ‘No, I think it’s called, ‘Fingerblasted.’ Another would write back, ‘I think it’s fingerbombed.’ So I turned that into the argument in the movie.” (The term that confused Carey most growing up? “Pearl necklace. No one was doing it, but people would make jokes about it, and you’d be like, ‘What is that? What? No thank you!'”)

During one of these feedback sessions, Michael Cera came up with an alternate title for the film — The Fuck-It List. “That was a pretty brilliant title,” Carey chuckled. “We actually were going to call the film The Hand Job at one point, and then once we started location scouting at schools, we realized we couldn’t keep it.”

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Forget Oscar

Find Your Spirit Animal

The Spirit Awards are LIVE this Saturday at 2p PT/5p ET.

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In just a few precious days, the greatest, most epic, most star-studded awards ceremony of the year comes to IFC.

And please, we’re definitely not talking about the Oscars. We’re talking about the Spirit Awards. Hosted by iconic comedy duo Nick Kroll and John Mulaney, it’s a relatively under-the-radar awards show with serious cred. And if the past is any indicator, we’re in for a wild night.

If you feel like doing your homework, you can find a full list of nominees and performance excerpts here. It reads like a who’s who of everyone that matters – those larger-than-life personalities with status that borders on mythological. Our celebrity spirit animals, if you will.

This isn’t hyperbole. Literally everyone who takes the stage at the awards show is spirit animal material. Let’s see if we can help you find yours…

Do you

Live in someone else’s shadow despite shining like the sun? Do you inexplicably vandalize your pretty-boy good looks with a sloppy-joe man bun and a repellent pubic-hair beard? Do you think sounding stoned and sounding thoughtful are kinda the same thing?

Congratulations, your spirit animal is Casey Affleck.

He’s the self-canonized patron saint of anyone who’s got the goods but doesn’t give a damn.

Do you

Have mid-length hair and exude a certain feminine masculinity that is universally appealing? Are you drawn to situations that promise little to nothing in the way of grooming or hygiene as a transparently self-conscious attempt to conceal your radiant inner glow? Does that fail miserably?

Way to go, your spirit animal is Viggo Mortensen.

He’s the yoga teacher of actors, in that what should make him super nasty only increases his curb appeal.

Do you

Get zero recognition for work that everyone knows is unrivaled? Do you inspire greatness in others yet get shortchanged when it comes to your own acclaim? Are you a goddam B-52 bomber in an industry of biplanes?

Bingo, your spirit animal is Annette Bening.

What does it take for this artist to win an Oscar? Honestly now, if her performance in 20th Century Women doesn’t earn her every award on the planet, consider it proof that the Universe truly is a cold dark void absent of reason or compassion.

Do you

Walk into a room full of strangers and walk out with a room full of friends? Have you been hiding under the radar just waiting for the right moment to leap out into the spotlight and stay there FOREVER? Do you possess the almost messianic ability to elevate Shia LaBeouf’s on-screen charisma?

You guessed it (or not), your spirit animal is 100% Sasha Lane.

If you haven’t seen American Honey, then you haven’t heard of her. She came out of the blue with a performance both subtle and powerful, and now she’s going to be in all the movies from this moment on. Or she should be, at any rate.

Don’t see your spirit animal there? Worry not. There are many more nominees to choose from, and you can see them all (yes, including Shia LaBeouf) during the Independent Spirit Awards, this Saturday at 2pm PT/5pm ET only on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

car notes note

This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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