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Guys of The To Do List on Losing Their Virginity

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Scott Porter once walked into a room of female coworkers who were in the middle of a conversation that confused him. “They were saying something about a ‘dirty bathroom floor,’ and I was like, ‘What the fuck does that mean?'” he recalled, laughing. “And then one of them said, ‘Dirty bathroom floor, go!’ and another said, ‘Ryan Gosling, in The Notebook. I would do him on a dirty bathroom floor.’ I finally got it. And that was girls having that conversation! We usually think that kind of stuff is reserved for the guys’ locker room, and it’s not.”

Cosmopolitan magazine, Sex and the City, and now The To Do List — all serve as reminders that women can actually explore their sexuality without it being part of some great romance. “Bill [Hader] likes to tell the story about how he went up to [writer/director] Maggie [Carey] and he said, ‘I really like the love story in this,” Porter said. “And she would say, ‘It’s not a love story. She just wants to get laid.’ ‘Oh, okay.'”

Brandy Klark, Aubrey Plaza’s protagonist in The To Do List, doesn’t just want to get laid — she wants to experience every sexual act leading up to and including intercourse, which she views as a final exam which requires a lot of study and preparation. Her goal is to have sex with her dream guy, Rusty Waters (played by Porter), but along the way, she encounters a lot of other guys, not all of whom are hook-up partners, such as her arch-conservative dad (played by Clark Gregg) and her summer job boss (played by Hader).

“I’m actually just a guy trying to help her,” Hader said. “But I’m also a stoner, deadbeat guy, so I have to help myself before I help her. I’m just giving her advice.”

Or at least, he tries to. Because the film is set in 1993, he actually has to physically go over to her house when she doesn’t pick up the phone. “He has to run to her house and knock on her door and try to interact with her face to face,” Porter laughed. A lot of the humor derives from the fact that Brandy’s endeavors take place in a pre-widespread Internet world, and her confusion about what some sexual acts might be, which causes her to seek advice in some strange places. Porter had a similar experience growing up in that era, before Google could answer your questions in seconds.

“You’d hear a term that you knew was filthy, and you’d self-define it,” Porter explained. “There was no Urban Dictionary. Some guy would say, ‘Oh, I heard about this thing called Dirty Sanchez,’ and one guy would just bullshit a definition for it, and that’s what we would think it was. I think some of the terms are regional. Like in the movie, she says ‘bumping donuts,’ and I had never heard that before. We called that particular act ‘scissor sisters.’ But all of that is just kids being kids and being idiots and trying to one-up each other with weird sex acts.”

Losing your virginity is sometimes depicted as a game of one-upmanship in coming-of-age films. “I remember the thing about losing my virginity is that once one of my friends did it, the rest of us were like, ‘Oh, no!'” Gregg recalled. “We were all fine being virgins together, and all of a sudden there was one of us who wasn’t. We thought he had superpowers! I’m pretty sure I saw him lift a car just with his eyes,” he added with a laugh. “But basically from then on, it was like an enormous clock was ticking in our hands.”

Gregg said that in his case, having the ticking clock made him and his friends think of nothing else, as well as suddenly become nicer to all the girls around them. In Porter’s case, he didn’t feel a ticking clock as pressure to lose his virginity, even though a lot of his friends “lost their V-card” earlier than he did. “I was a bit of a late bloomer,” he said. “I was a little bit more of a slow mover, and more of a romantic. I always had a girlfriend. I lost it towards the end of my high school career, and I didn’t attempt it again until late into college!”

But whatever your own experience might be, Porter pointed out, it’s a universal rite of passage, “and it never gets less awkward.” Revisiting these experiences for The To Do List and understanding a female perspective did help Gregg prepare a little bit for the inevitable sex talk he’ll have to have with his own preteen daughter some day. “I thought I would be the super cool, open-to-talk-about-sex dad,” he said. “And I’ll try. But she mostly wants to talk to my wife about it, and I’m not going to argue with that!”

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

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Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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WTF Films

Artfully Off

Celebrity All-Star by Sisters Weekend is available now on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Sisters Weekend isn’t like other comedy groups. It’s filmmaking collaboration between besties Angelo Balassone, Michael Fails and Kat Tadesco, self-described lace-front addicts with great legs who write, direct, design and produce video sketches and cinematic shorts that are so surreally hilarious that they defy categorization. One such short film, Celebrity All-Star, is the newest addition to IFC’s Comedy Crib. Here’s what they had to say about it in a very personal email interview…

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IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.

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IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?

Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.

IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?

Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).

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IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?

Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.

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IFC: Who are your comedy idols?

Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY-  Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!

IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?

Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.

See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib

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Reality? Check.

Baroness For Life

Baroness von Sketch Show is available for immediate consumption.

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Baroness von Sketch Show is snowballing as people have taken note of its subtle and not-so-subtle skewering of everyday life. The New York Times, W Magazine, and Vogue have heaped on the praise, but IFC had a few more probing questions…

IFC: To varying degrees, your sketches are simply scripted examples of things that actually happen. What makes real life so messed up?

Aurora: Hubris, Ego and Selfish Desires and lack of empathy.

Carolyn: That we’re trapped together in the 3rd Dimension.

Jenn: 1. Other people 2. Other people’s problems 3. Probably something I did.

IFC: A lot of people I know have watched this show and realized, “Dear god, that’s me.” or “Dear god, that’s true.” Why do people have their blinders on?

Aurora: Because most people when you’re in the middle of a situation, you don’t have the perspective to step back and see yourself because you’re caught up in the moment. That’s the job of comedians is to step back and have a self-awareness about these things, not only saying “You’re doing this,” but also, “You’re not the only one doing this.” It’s a delicate balance of making people feel uncomfortable and comforting them at the same time.

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IFC: Unlike a lot of popular sketch comedy, your sketches often focus more on group dynamics vs iconic individual characters. Why do you think that is and why is it important?

Meredith: We consider the show to be more based around human dynamics, not so much characters. If anything we’re more attracted to the energy created by people interacting.

Jenn: So much of life is spent trying to work it out with other people, whether it’s at work, at home, trying to commute to work, or even on Facebook it’s pretty hard to escape the group.

IFC: Are there any comedians out there that you feel are just nailing it?

Aurora: I love Key and Peele. I know that their show is done and I’m in denial about it, but they are amazing because there were many times that I would imagine that Keegan Michael Key was in the scene while writing. If I could picture him saying it, I knew it would work. I also kind of have a crush on Jordan Peele and his performance in Big Mouth. Maya Rudolph also just makes everything amazing. Her puberty demon on Big Mouth is flawless. She did an ad for 7th generation tampons that my son, my husband and myself were singing around the house for weeks. If I could even get anything close to her career, I would be happy. I’m also back in love with Rick and Morty. I don’t know if I have a crush on Justin Roiland, I just really love Rick (maybe even more than Morty). I don’t have a crush on Jerry, the dad, but I have a crush on Chris Parnell because he’s so good at being Jerry.

Jenn: I LOVE ISSA RAE!

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IFC: If you could go back in time and cast yourselves in any sitcom, which would it be and how would it change?

Carolyn: I’d go back in time and cast us in The Partridge Family.  We’d make an excellent family band. We’d have a laugh, break into song and wear ruffled blouses with velvet jackets.  And of course travel to all our gigs on a Mondrian bus. I feel really confident about this choice.

Meredith: Electric Mayhem from The Muppet Show. It wouldn’t change, they were simply perfect, except… maybe a few more vaginas in the band.

Binge the entire first and second seasons of Baroness von Sketch Show now on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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