DID YOU READ

10 trippy movies for stoners

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In celebration of the growing legality of marijuana use in the United States and its unofficial holiday of 4/20, most people churning out these lovely little lists across the interwebs would likely give you a list of stoner comedies, with your usual Cheech & Chong, Harold & Kumar or Seth Rogen selections. However, in the interest of the mind-expanding powers of brain chemistry alteration, how about we cobble together ten films that would be really cool to watch while baked – ones that may not have anything to do with actual weed enthusiasts. With that in mind, here are ten very trippy movies for stoners of all kinds. Okay, most kinds. I’m leaving Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” off the list because any self-respecting stoner already knows that one. You may ask how much a recreational drug user could really respect themselves, but then again, maybe you should keep your moral judgments to yourself, huh? You stole fizzy lifting drinks! Good day, sir!

Wait… what was I doing? Oh, yeah. Freaky movies!


1. “MirrorMask” (2005)

The old threat from kids to their parents was that if they were too strict, they would run away and join the circus. This Dave McKean film from a Neil Gaiman screenplay, however, shows us a girl who runs away from the circus into an even stranger fantasy world, brought forth by guilt over her mother’s suffering. The Jim Henson Company is at work here, crafting something in the spirit of “The Dark Crystal” and “Labyrinth,” but something altogether new – and truly strange.


2. “The City of Lost Children” (1995)

If Jean-Pierre Jeunet is involved, you know you are going to get a stylistically-charged film, as you will have seen by now with “Delicatessen” and “Amelie,” and if you haven’t, you should have. This 1995 film he directed with Marc Caro focuses on a mad scientist named Krank whose cult kidnaps children in order to steal their dreams, and stars Ron Perlman as a carnival strongman and sailor who is trying to save his brother alongside a young orphan named Miette. Dominique Pinion playing six identical clones is a real treat, but the haunting imagery of this beautifully brilliant piece of work doesn’t even require altering the brain chemistry to love.


3. “Brazil” (1985)

You cannot make a list such as this without including the work of the amazing visual artist Terry Gilliam. One is tempted to drop in the fever dream that is “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” but we’re staying away from completely obvious choices here. “Brazil” stars Jonathan Pryce as Sam Lowry, a low-rung grunt in a dystopian, Orwellian society dreaming of being a hero to a damsel in distress. When he actually meets the dream woman in his reality as a result of a bureaucratic snafu about a suspected terrorist (Robert De Niro) that resulted in the death of her husband, he starts upon a wild, dangerous journey deep into his own mind. Watch this and yours will be well and truly blown, man.


4. “2001: A Space Odyssey” (1968)

While “A Clockwork Orange” might also be a good choice from Stanley Kubrick, the old ultraviolence can harsh one’s mellow. But his epic masterpiece spanning the Dawn of Man to Beyond the Infinite has long periods of dialogue-free introspection about the mysteries of the universe, the threat of artificial intelligence and the history of our species. This is the mind-expanding thinkpiece that makes the perfect stimulation for the chilled-out, introspective weed experience.

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Face Melting Cameos

The 10 Most Metal Pop Culture Cameos

Glenn Danzig drops by Portlandia tonight at 10P on IFC.

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Glenn Danzig rocks harder than granite. In his 60 years, he’s mastered punk with The Misfits, slayed metal with the eponymous Danzig, and generally melted faces with the force of his voice. And thanks to Fred and Carrie, he’s now stopping by tonight’s brand new Portlandia so we can finally get to see what “Evil Elvis” is like when he hits the beach. To celebrate his appearance, we put together our favorite metal moments from pop culture, from the sublime to the absurd.

10. Cannibal Corpse meets Ace Ventura

Back in the ’90s,  Cannibal Corpse was just a small time band from Upstate New York, plying their death metal wares wherever they could find a crowd, when a call from Jim Carry transformed their lives. Turns out the actor was a fan, and wanted them for a cameo in his new movie, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. The band had a European tour coming up, and were wary of being made fun of, so they turned it down. Thankfully, the rubber-faced In Living Color vet wouldn’t take no for an answer, proving that you don’t need to have a lot of fans, just the right ones.


9. AC/DC in Private Parts

Howard Stern’s autobiographical film, based on his book of the same name, followed his rise in the world of radio and pop culture. For a man surrounded by naked ladies and adoring fans, it’s hard to track the exact moment he made it. But rocking out with AC/DC in the middle of Central Park, as throngs of fans clamor to get a piece of you, seems like it comes pretty close. You can actually see Stern go from hit host to radio god in this clip, as “You Shook Me All Night Long” blasts in the background.


8. Judas Priest meets The Simpsons

When you want to blast a bunch of peace-loving hippies out on their asses, you’re going to need some death metal. At least, that’s what the folks at The Simpsons thought when they set up this cameo from the metal gods. Unfortunately, thanks to a hearty online backlash, the writers of the classic series were soon informed that Judas Priest, while many things, are not in fact “death metal.” This led to the most Simpson-esque apology ever. Rock on, Bartman. Rock on.


7. Anthrax on Married…With Children

What do you get when Married…with Children spoofs My Dinner With Andre, substituting the erudite playwrights for a band so metal they piss rust? Well, for starters, a lot of headbanging, property destruction and blown eardrums. And much like everything else in life, Al seems to have missed the fun.


6. Motorhead rocks out on The Young Ones

The Young Ones didn’t just premiere on BBC2 in 1982 — it kicked the doors down to a new way of doing comedy. A full-on assault on the staid state of sitcoms, the show brought a punk rock vibe to the tired format, and in the process helped jumpstart a comedy revolution. For instance, where an old sitcom would just cut from one scene to the next, The Young Ones choose to have Lemmy and his crew deliver a raw version of “Ace of Spades.” The general attitude seemed to be, you don’t like this? Well, then F— you!


5. Red and Kitty Meet Kiss on That ’70s Show

Carsey-Werner Productions

Carsey-Werner Productions

Long before they were banished to playing arena football games, Kiss was the hottest ticket in rock. The gang from That ’70s Show got to live out every ’70s teen’s dream when they were set loose backstage at a Kiss concert, taking full advantage of groupies, ganja and hard rock.


4. Ronnie James Dio in Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (NSFW, people!)

What does a young boy do when he was born to rock, and the world won’t let him? What tight compadre does he pray to for guidance and some sweet licks? If you’re a young Jables, half of “the world’s most awesome band,” you bow your head to Ronnie James Dio, aka the guy who freaking taught the world how to do the “Metal Horns.” Never before has a rock god been so literal than in this clip that turns it up to eleven.


3. Ozzy Osbourne in Trick or Treat

It’s hard to tell if Ozzy was trying his hardest here, or just didn’t give a flying f–k. What is clear is that, either way, it doesn’t really matter. Ozzy’s approach to acting seems to lean more heavily on Jack Daniels than sense memory, and yet seeing the slurry English rocker play a sex-obsessed televangelist is so ridiculous, he gets a free pass. Taking part in the cult horror Trick or Treat, Ozzy proves that he makes things better just by showing up. Because that’s exactly what he did here. Showed up. And it rocks.


2. Glenn Danzig on Portlandia

Danzig seems to be coming out of a self imposed exile these days. He just signed with a record company, and his appearance on Portlandia is reminding everyone how kick ass he truly is. Who else but “The Other Man in Black” could help Portland’s resident goths figure out what to wear to the beach? Carrie Brownstein called Danzig “amazing,” and he called Fred “a genius,” so this was a rare love fest for the progenitor of horror punk.


1. Alice Cooper in Wayne’s World

It’s surprising, sure, but for a scene that contains no music whatsoever, it’s probably the most famous metal moment in the history of film. When Alice Cooper informed Wayne and Garth that Milwaukee is actually pronounced “Milly-way-kay” back in 1992, he created one of the most famous scenes in comedy history. What’s more metal than that? Much like Wayne and Garth, we truly are not worthy.

The 25 most quotable “Step Brothers” one-liners

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Just like “Anchorman,” “Step Brothers” is filled with memorable quotes. Whether it’s “Did we just become best friends?” or “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands,” there’s likely some hilarious line in the Adam McKay movie that speaks directly to you.

There might not be a “Step Brothers” sequel coming out like there is for “Anchorman,” but that doesn’t mean we love the movie any less. In honor of the lasting impact the movie has had on our lives, here are the top 25 most quotable lines from “Step Brothers.”


25. “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” — Dale

24. “My mom is being eaten by a dog and there’s nothing I can do!” — Brennan

23. “I’m fucking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” — Dale

22. “Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled ‘rape’ at the top of your lungs.” — Nancy

21. “That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.” — Dale

20. “Dane Cook, pay–per–view, 20 minutes, let’s go!” — Derek

19. “Why are you so sweaty?” — Dale “I was watching Cops.” — Brennan

18. “You know what gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends.” — Derek

17. “I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nudie magazines.” — Brennan

16. “You don’t even look good when you’re singing.” — Derek

15. “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” — Dale

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10 horror comedies (that are more comedy than horror)

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You may think that the “horror comedy” is a relatively new phenomenon, now that we’re all post-modern and ironic these days, but the long history of B-movie schlock horror pictures are classics for all their campy laughs as much as for their ghoulish imaginings. If we were to list all of those, you’d be reading for days. Yet, comedy is an intrinsic part of the horror genre, necessary in order to keep these films entertaining and not so much like audiences are paying to revel in human suffering and terror. There are often comic elements at play in standard horror movies, but then there are those films which take the tropes of scare flicks – zombies, vampires, monsters of various stripes, stalkers, what-have-you – and swing the equation far over toward the funny side rather than the frightening one. The macabre in service of the guffaw. So here’s a list of ten horror comedies which are much more comedy than horror.


1. “Evil Dead 2/Army of Darkness”

We have to start here, with Sam Raimi’s enduring cult favorite saga, as it’s a perfect example of the progression from horror to horror comedy to comedy. The first “Evil Dead” was a straight-up horror film, creepy and disturbing. Then, Raimi went back and essentially remade it for “Evil Dead 2,” but made it more hysterical than skeevy with a man’s fight against his own possessed hand. Then came “Army of Darkness,” which was so over-the-top with Bruce Campbell’s chainsaw-handed S-Mart maniac Ash being thrust back in time and in the midst of undead magic wars that there wasn’t anything actively scary about it – except maybe the extent of Ash’s inner madness.


2. “Shaun of the Dead”

Edgar Wright’s film about a group of British slackers with enough personal problems to make a zombie uprising feel like an inconvenience was a breath of fresh air. Simon Pegg’s performance as the title character, oblivious to the zombies at first and then comically inept in his attempts to fight them off once he does notice them, is charming enough to make the fact that the whole movie becomes something of a dramedy in the third act work well enough to earn itself a deserved cult following. They’ve also been wise enough not to try and dilute its effectiveness with sequels (yes, we are mildly concerned about “Anchorman 2”).


3. “Fido”

You know you’ve got a solid yukfest on your hands when Billy Connolly is playing a child’s pet zombie. In a version of the 1950s where zombies happened, but are able to be controlled with special collars from the Zomcon company and used as household servants, nice fenced-off suburban communities thrive in a surreal way – that is, until Fido’s collar malfunctions and a fresh outbreak takes hold of the town of Willard. Exaggerated suburban satire and ridiculously inappropriate hijinks ensue.


4. “Tucker and Dale vs. Evil”

This Sundance hit is an ingenious turn-around of the whole ‘creepy yokels in the woods’ genre, making the standard group of attractive young roadtrippers into the paranoid bad guys, always assuming the worst of well-meaning country boys Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine). A series of escalating accidents surrounding the campers’ attempts to “rescue” their friend Allison (Katrina Bowden) result in increasingly gruesome deaths that serve to really freak out our hillbilly heroes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFFh25DmPNU

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