DID YOU READ

A comic walk through sexual development in 10 steps

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Sex. Coitus. Fornication. Nooky. Bumping uglies. Whatever you call it, it’s a fact of human life and the driving force behind most everything human beings do – we want to be able to impress people enough to widen our sexual prospects. It’s not always entirely about the act itself, but the circumstances surrounding it that are more involving, but sex is everywhere and everything, especially in this day and age. Some resist, some decry, some embrace and some go too far, but sex isn’t going anywhere, and it’s always been prime fodder for stand-up comedy. Here are ten comic takes on the entire sexual journey, from just switching on as a teenager to being so old you don’t give a damn about it anymore. Let’s laugh at dirty stuff, shall we?


1. Eddie Izzard on Puberty

Ah, pubescence. That time of life where everything changes, your body goes haywire, your hormones go bananas and you start to realize just how clueless you are about how the entire social process works while first realizing that you really want to touch your friends and acquaintances and those people on the TV shows in impure ways. You may think it would be a bit different for transvestites, but Izzard’s explanation of it all is pretty universal.


2. Bill Hicks on Pornography

Where do you go when you’ve passed the pubescent point of no return and you can’t quite figure out how to talk to your prospective sexual partners yet? The glory of pornography. It used to be hidden treasure you had to seek out, and now it’s readily available to anybody with a phone. However, depending on your upbringing, you may or may not have some skewed perspective about porn – guilt, shame, sin, that sort of thing. Hicks, however, takes great pains to illustrate that pornography is a good thing, and there’s no reason for any of that reluctance to embrace it. It’s always going to be there in some form.


3. Jen Kirkman on Masturbation

Once you’ve got your pornography (although oftentimes that’s only a handy aid and not entirely necessary), you can commence with the self-exploration that is masturbation. You’ve heard countless stand-up comics talk about this – the sheer amount of stroke-gesturing alone that takes place on the comedy stage defies measure. However, Kirkman makes a solid point that it’s not the same for women – be it with equal acceptance with talking about it on stage or in reality trying to figure out how to pleasure themselves. It’s a different headspace they often have to get into, and meticulously constructed fantasies aren’t easy to maintain for the length of time it takes to bring oneself to the tipping point.


4. Laurie Elliott on First Times

Eventually, of course, most people find their way through the maze of social minefields and manage to convince somebody as clueless as they are to take a chance and give sex the ol’ high school or college try. There are often surprises afoot here, though, and one of the more unusual ones is described by the “adorkable” Elliott here amidst her other sexual misadventures – namely, what happens when the first sight of your partner’s junk is actually somewhat terrifying?


5. The Higgins Boys & Gruber on Experimentation

Once the hurdle of virginity has been overcome, the time comes to start figuring out exactly what you like. That takes a lot of vigorous experimentation that can sometimes get a little weird, depending on whether or not your hormones are runnin’ as wild as Hulkamania. The Higgins Boys and Gruber explore that exploration in a saucy bit of sketch comedy wherein two men are taking a survey on their sexual habits and learn the extent of their own freakiness.

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

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This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Dark Arts

Foot Fetish Jesus And Other Nightmares

Meet the minds behind Comedy Crib's latest series, Quirks and The Mirror.

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The Mirror and Quirks are really, really strange. Deeply disturbing yet hauntingly beautiful. But you really don’t need to read a synopsis of either of the aforementioned shows to understand the exact variety of nightmare-bonkers comedy these shows deliver — that’s why the good lord made links. Instead, take a peek behind the curtain and meet the creators.

Quirks

Let’s start with Kevin Tosi. Kevin does the whole show by himself. That doesn’t mean he’s a loner — Kevin has a day job with actual humans. But that day job is copywriting. So it’s only natural that his suppressed demons would manifest themselves in biting cartoon form, including “Foot Fetish Jesus”, in ways that somehow speak to all of us. If only all copywriters channeled their inner f*ckedupness into such…expressive art.

The Mirror

Onward to the folks at Wham City Comedy.

These guys aren’t your typical comedy collective in that their work is way more left-field and even elevated than your standard digital short. More funny weird than funny ha-ha. They’ve done collaborations with musicians like Beach House, Dan Deacon & Wye Oak, television networks (obviously), and others. Yeah they get paid, but their motivation feels deeper. Darker. Most of them are video artists, and that explains a lot.

See more of The Mirror and Quirks on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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