DID YOU READ

A comic walk through sexual development in 10 steps

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Sex. Coitus. Fornication. Nooky. Bumping uglies. Whatever you call it, it’s a fact of human life and the driving force behind most everything human beings do – we want to be able to impress people enough to widen our sexual prospects. It’s not always entirely about the act itself, but the circumstances surrounding it that are more involving, but sex is everywhere and everything, especially in this day and age. Some resist, some decry, some embrace and some go too far, but sex isn’t going anywhere, and it’s always been prime fodder for stand-up comedy. Here are ten comic takes on the entire sexual journey, from just switching on as a teenager to being so old you don’t give a damn about it anymore. Let’s laugh at dirty stuff, shall we?


1. Eddie Izzard on Puberty

Ah, pubescence. That time of life where everything changes, your body goes haywire, your hormones go bananas and you start to realize just how clueless you are about how the entire social process works while first realizing that you really want to touch your friends and acquaintances and those people on the TV shows in impure ways. You may think it would be a bit different for transvestites, but Izzard’s explanation of it all is pretty universal.


2. Bill Hicks on Pornography

Where do you go when you’ve passed the pubescent point of no return and you can’t quite figure out how to talk to your prospective sexual partners yet? The glory of pornography. It used to be hidden treasure you had to seek out, and now it’s readily available to anybody with a phone. However, depending on your upbringing, you may or may not have some skewed perspective about porn – guilt, shame, sin, that sort of thing. Hicks, however, takes great pains to illustrate that pornography is a good thing, and there’s no reason for any of that reluctance to embrace it. It’s always going to be there in some form.


3. Jen Kirkman on Masturbation

Once you’ve got your pornography (although oftentimes that’s only a handy aid and not entirely necessary), you can commence with the self-exploration that is masturbation. You’ve heard countless stand-up comics talk about this – the sheer amount of stroke-gesturing alone that takes place on the comedy stage defies measure. However, Kirkman makes a solid point that it’s not the same for women – be it with equal acceptance with talking about it on stage or in reality trying to figure out how to pleasure themselves. It’s a different headspace they often have to get into, and meticulously constructed fantasies aren’t easy to maintain for the length of time it takes to bring oneself to the tipping point.


4. Laurie Elliott on First Times

Eventually, of course, most people find their way through the maze of social minefields and manage to convince somebody as clueless as they are to take a chance and give sex the ol’ high school or college try. There are often surprises afoot here, though, and one of the more unusual ones is described by the “adorkable” Elliott here amidst her other sexual misadventures – namely, what happens when the first sight of your partner’s junk is actually somewhat terrifying?


5. The Higgins Boys & Gruber on Experimentation

Once the hurdle of virginity has been overcome, the time comes to start figuring out exactly what you like. That takes a lot of vigorous experimentation that can sometimes get a little weird, depending on whether or not your hormones are runnin’ as wild as Hulkamania. The Higgins Boys and Gruber explore that exploration in a saucy bit of sketch comedy wherein two men are taking a survey on their sexual habits and learn the extent of their own freakiness.

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. 

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number! 

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time. 

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by. 

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo. 

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim. 

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t? 

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?” 

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud. 

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.