DID YOU READ

Top 10 awkward high school moments (in movies and TV)

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There’s nothing like the high school years when it comes to building character (or something) through a little (or, in most cases, a lot of) humility. Here are the Top 10 moments in movies and television where the hapless teenagers on display probably wanted to just crawl into a corner and die — but you know what they say about what doesn’t kill ya …


10. “Bring It On” (2000)

This somewhat ahead-of-its-time meta-comedy opens with an impressively choreographed cheerleader routine that introduces the film’s main characters (well, half of them, anyway — there’s a whole other cheerleader team that shows up later on) via a series of leaps, flips and self-deprecating wink-wink lyrics (“I’m major, I roar / I swear I’m not a whore!”). Just when the whole thing’s about to become a bit too self-congratulatory and indulgent for its own good, BAM! It turns into a dream sequence, one in which our dreamer, Torrance (Kirsten Dunst), suddenly appears buck naked in front of the entire student body. Inexplicable nightmare-laughter ensues (we’re sure the sight of a naked Kirsten Dunst inspires a lot of things but laughter probably isn’t one of them) with at least one audience member showing his appreciation with an exclamation of “Nice rack!” We could only dream as well until Kirsten finally let us see for ourselves 11 years later in Lars Von Trier’s “Melancholia.”


9. “Carrie” (1976)

Suddenly getting your period in the shower is bad enough. But suddenly getting your period in the shower in a Stephen King movie is even worse, as the horror scribe is known for portraying humanity (or what passes for it) at its most cruel … and, really, there may be nothing more cruel than high school students when the dark mood strikes them. Poor Carrie ends up cowering in the corner, the water pouring down her naked body as her classmates bombard her with tampons: “Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up!” It’s a miracle that our troubled heroine didn’t just unleash her fiery powers right there, ’cause we this kind of humiliation is way more emotionally damaging than having your prom dress ruined by pig’s blood.


8. “She’s All That” (1999)

This modern-day retelling of “Pygmalion” (or “My Fair Lady” for you musical fans) is pretty mediocre even by the subgrade standards of Freddie Prinze Jr. movies, though it definitely scores a few points for indulging in some pretty subversive flourishes … some of which make for gross-out gags that, despite the film’s (highly questionable) PG-13 rating, rival any semen-drinking “American Pie” shenanigans. “Eating” and “stuff that springs from male loins” again make a dangerous mix here, though we have to admit we might prefer the “Pie” beverage of choice over “Hoovering” (as Freddie puts it) someone’s pubic hair … and as a pizza topping, no less. Kudos to director Robert Iscove for remembering to have everyone in the cafeteria react accordingly — this outrageousness ain’t happening in a vacuum, after all.


7. “Sixteen Candles” (1984)

No on can hit the complicated, confusing and often ugly emotional truths of the trials and tribulations of being a teenager quite like the late, great John Hughes. His characters — and character insights — are pretty much timeless; indeed, all “The Breakfast Club” (1985) would need to be updated for the 21st century is having the principal tell the detention attendees that cell phones must be turned off for the duration of the day. However, Hughes was also quite the notorious goof, not afraid to indulge the broad strokes of slapstick and absurdity … sometimes in a scene that just a few frames earlier was rather dramatic and realistic. Take, for instance, this almost unbearably embarrassing (and admittedly very silly) moment from “Sixteen Candles” — we hope no one on the planet has grandparents like the tactless, bad-joke-telling, molesting freaks on display here.

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

car notes note

This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Dark Arts

Foot Fetish Jesus And Other Nightmares

Meet the minds behind Comedy Crib's latest series, Quirks and The Mirror.

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The Mirror and Quirks are really, really strange. Deeply disturbing yet hauntingly beautiful. But you really don’t need to read a synopsis of either of the aforementioned shows to understand the exact variety of nightmare-bonkers comedy these shows deliver — that’s why the good lord made links. Instead, take a peek behind the curtain and meet the creators.

Quirks

Let’s start with Kevin Tosi. Kevin does the whole show by himself. That doesn’t mean he’s a loner — Kevin has a day job with actual humans. But that day job is copywriting. So it’s only natural that his suppressed demons would manifest themselves in biting cartoon form, including “Foot Fetish Jesus”, in ways that somehow speak to all of us. If only all copywriters channeled their inner f*ckedupness into such…expressive art.

The Mirror

Onward to the folks at Wham City Comedy.

These guys aren’t your typical comedy collective in that their work is way more left-field and even elevated than your standard digital short. More funny weird than funny ha-ha. They’ve done collaborations with musicians like Beach House, Dan Deacon & Wye Oak, television networks (obviously), and others. Yeah they get paid, but their motivation feels deeper. Darker. Most of them are video artists, and that explains a lot.

See more of The Mirror and Quirks on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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