DID YOU READ

Celebrity zombie apocalypse survival guide

Warm Bodies

Posted by on

Okay, granted, a zombie apocalypse is probably not going to happen anytime soon, but when it does, will you be ready? The stars of “Warm Bodies” and their celebrity friends who attended last week’s premiere hosted by the Cinema Society say yes, and shared their top survival strategies with IFC.

1. Denial. David Cross says you can survive “just by remembering that there’s no such thing as a zombie. It’s not a real thing. It’s physically impossible.” In other words, make yourself wake up — which only works if it’s a bad dream.

2. Hide. Find a safe place, and fortify it with rations. “My boyfriend, he built a zombie-proof apartment somewhere in Soho,” says Lily Kwong. “He has the skills.” But not everyone has a place ready. Scott Michael Foster has land in Texas he could use, he said, but he doesn’t have the rations yet. “I’ve got to start now,” he says. “I’m going to invest in SPAM stock, too.” (“SPAM? Is that an option?” asked “Warm Bodies” star Analeigh Tipton, who plays Nora. “I’ll do that, too. SPAM is very useful for everything. There’s something in that that keeps things forever.”)

Cross thinks it best to go on a permanent vacation. “I would probably fly to the Fiji islands, live in one of those huts, and then just really secure it,” he says. “I’d spend all my money on that, before money is worthless. Fortify the fuck out of it. And then go fishing. I mean, it’s Fiji! How many zombies are there going to be in Fiji?” (We hate to remind you that zombies can cross bodies of water because of the whole not-needing-to-breathe thing…)

3. Play dead. “I’ve already thought about my zombie apocalypse tactics,” says “Warm Bodies” star Teresa Palmer, who plays Julie. “I’d become very good at zombie makeup, and I could pretend I was one of them, like I’ve already been killed. Fit in.” Helena Christensen says camouflage is easier than it used to be, and we all know from watching zombie movies how to act. “Practice grunting, practice the moves,” she says. “I do that every morning when I wake up anyway!”

4. Run. If you plan to use this method, get in shape, says Carlos Leon. “Cardio is very important,” he says. “Start practicing now.” This method isn’t for everyone, Tipton cautions. “I would trip,” she admits.

5. Fight. No matter what strategy you had planned to use, there might come a time when you’re face to face with a member of the living dead — so defend yourself!

5A. Use a weapon. “I learned how to turn myself into a warrior on ‘I Am Number Four,’ with real weapons,” Palmer says. I know how to shoot a gun, and a shotgun.” Guns, however, can make noise, so Leon recommends “long swords.” What if nothing’s handy? Get creative, Palmer says. “I’ve got some pretty crazy stilettos on, so I could stab them in the eyeball,” she theorizes. “Put all my force into it, stab right through to whatever brain they’ve got left.”

5B. Become a weapon. “I have a black belt in karate,” says former “Smash” villain Jaime Cepero. “I could take out a zombie with one chop. You go for the head, right? And if they’re already dead, it’s probably easier, decomposing, right? I think I can handle it.” Leon recommends a front flip and coming down on the zombie’s neck to “break his head off.” Palmer says she would “bust out my one martial arts move, which is a double side kick, get them in knee so they buckle, and then you go for the head.” Tony Danza says good ol’ boxing would work just as well: “Even a zombie, when he gets hit on the chin, goes to sleep. Remember that.”

6. Get creative. “I would not use guns. I would probably not use hand combat. I would not run,” says Tipton. “I would use puns and wordplay. The zombies would be like, ‘What are you saying?’ And they would be so baffled that they would turn on themselves and start going at each other, eating each other.” Use this method at your own risk. “Best of luck to you in that situation,” she laughs.

7. Cry. When all else fails, accept your impending doom. “Warm Bodies” director Jonathan Levine told us that when the zombie apocalypse comes — and perhaps even before it comes — we can find him in the corner in a fetal position, weeping. “I’d be fucked. Totally fucked,” he laughs.

How would you survive the zombie apocalypse? Tell us in the comments section below or on Facebook and Twitter.

Watch More
Tony-Hale-Joes-Pub-3

Holiday Extra Special

Make The Holidays ’80s Again

Enjoy the holiday cheer Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Whatever happened to the kind of crazy-yet-cozy holiday specials that blanketed the early winter airwaves of the 1980s? Unceremoniously killed by infectious ’90s jadedness? Slow fade out at the hands of early-onset millennial ennui? Whatever the reason, nixing the tradition was a huge mistake.

A huge mistake that we’re about to fix.

Announcing IFC’s Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special, starring Tony Hale. It’s a celeb-studded extravaganza in the glorious tradition of yesteryear featuring Bridget Everett, Jo Firestone, Nick Thune, Jen Kirkman, house band The Dap-Kings, and many more. And it’s at Joe’s Pub, everyone’s favorite home away from home in the Big Apple.

The yuletide cheer explodes Wednesday December 21 at 10P. But if you were born after 1989 and have no idea what void this spectacular special is going to fill, sample from this vintage selection of holiday hits:

Andy Williams and The NBC Kids Search For Santa

The quintessential holiday special. Get snuggly and turn off your brain. You won’t need it.

A Muppet Family Christmas

The Fraggles. The Muppets. The Sesame Street gang. Fate. The Jim Henson multiverse merges in this warm and fuzzy Holiday gathering.

Julie Andrews: The Sound Of Christmas

To this day a foolproof antidote to holiday cynicism. It’s cheesy, but a good cheese. In this case an Alpine Gruyère.

Star Wars Holiday Special

Okay, busted. This one was released in 1978. Still totally ’80s though. And yes that’s Bea Arthur.

Pee Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special

Pass the eggnog, and make sure it’s loaded. This special is everything you’d expect it to be and much, much more.

Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special premieres Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

Watch More
CBB_519_tout_1

It Ain't Over Yet

A Guide to Coping with the End of Comedy Bang! Bang!

Watch the final episodes tonight at 11 and 11:30P on IFC.

Posted by on

After five seasons and 110 halved-hour episodes, Scott Aukerman’s hipster comedy opus, Comedy Bang! Bang!, has come to an end. Fridays at 11 and 11:30P will never be the same. We know it can be hard for fans to adjust after the series finale of their favorite TV show. That’s why we’ve prepared this step-by-step guide to managing your grief.

Step One: Cry it out

It’s just natural. We’re sad too.
Scott crying GIF

Step Two: Read the CB!B! IMDB Trivia Page

The show is over and it feels like you’ve lost a friend. But how well did you really know this friend? Head over to Comedy Bang! Bang!’s IMDB page to find out some things you may not have known…like that it’s “based on a Civil War battle of the same name” or that “Reggie Watts was actually born with the name Theodore Leopold The Third.”

Step Three: Listen to the podcast

One fascinating piece of CB!B! trivia that you might not learn from IMDB is that there’s a podcast that shares the same name as the TV show. It’s even hosted by Scott Aukerman! It’s not exactly like watching the TV show on a Friday night, but that’s only because each episode is released Monday morning. If you close your eyes, the podcast is just like watching the show with your eyes closed!

Step Four: Watch brand new CB!B! clips?!

The best way to cope with the end of Comedy Bang! Bang! is to completely ignore that it’s over — because it’s not. In an unprecedented move, IFC is opening up the bonus CB!B! content vault. There are four brand new, never-before-seen sketches featuring Scott Aukerman, Kid Cudi, and “Weird Al” Yankovic ready for you to view on the IFC App. There’s also one right here, below this paragraph! Watch all four b-b-bonus clips and feel better.

Binge the entire final season, plus exclusive sketches, right now on the IFC app.

Watch More
Watch-IFC

Everybody Sweats Now

The Four-Day Sweatsgiving Weekend On IFC

Posted by on

This long holiday weekend is your time to gobble gobble gobble and give heartfelt thanks—thanks for the comfort and forgiveness of sweatpants. Because when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing more wholesome and American than stuffing yourself stupid and spending endless hours in front of the TV in your softest of softests.

So get the sweats, grab the remote and join IFC for four perfect days of entertainment.

sweatsgiving
It all starts with a 24-hour T-day marathon of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then continues Friday with an all-day binge of Stan Against Evil.

By Saturday, the couch will have molded to your shape. Which is good, because you’ll be nestled in for back-to-back Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.

Finally, come Sunday it’s time to put the sweat back in your sweatpants with The Shining, The Exorcist, The Chronicles of Riddick, Terminator 2, and Blade: Trinity. They totally count as cardio.

As if you need more convincing, here’s Martha Wash and the IFC&C Music Factory to hammer the point home.

The Sweatsgiving Weekend starts Thursday on IFC

Watch More
Powered by ZergNet