DID YOU READ

What to watch this week on IFC: Jan. 7 – Jan. 13

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It’s always a little disappointing that the new year has to be rung in during winter when it’s too cold to go outside. So we’ll celebrate the new year by watching a new season of Portlandia and a bunch of great movies from the warmth of our living rooms.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

Before they put Neo in “The Matrix,” the Wachowskis made “Bound,” which airs tonight at 10:15 p.m. ET. The film stars Gina Gershon as an ex-con who falls for a gangster’s moll (played by Jennifer Tilly). They hatch a scheme to screw over a mobster (Joe Pantoliano) and steal $2 million from the Mafia. It doesn’t go so well, but that wouldn’t make for a very exciting movie then would it? Tune in tonight!

Tuesday

In “Big Top Pee-wee,” which is more nof a companion piece than a true sequel to “Pee-wee’s Big Advernture,” our beloved hero Pee-wee Herman becomes a farmer with a talking pig (voiced by Wayne White) and a slightly insufferable fiancee (Penelope Ann Miller). His simple yet somewhat boring life gets a sudden jolt of excitement when an entire traveling circus plops onto his land, courtesy of a tornado. It’s all uphill from there. Tune in at 10:15 p.m. ET to see for yourself.

Wednesday

You’ll be glad it’s Wednesday, when you watch a double dose Friday the 13th starting at 8/7c. Up first we get to watch teens (Melanie Kinnaman, Shavar Ross) turn the tables (and the chain saws) on someone wearing slasher Jason’s hockey mask in “Friday the 13th: A New Beginning” at 8/7c. Stay tuned for “Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives,” which is pretty self-explanatory. The terror starts at 10/9c.

Thursday

There’s nothing wrong with your Thursday that a little Snake Plissken can’t fix. Tune in to John Carpenter’s “Escape from L.A.” at 10/9c to watch Kurt Russell reprise his one-eyed role from “Escape from New York” as he takes down a religious fanatic totalitarian president with the help of some of his friends including Bruce Campbell, Pam Grier and Steve Buscemi in memorable roles.

Friday

A new episode of Portlandia’s third season starts at 10/9c. Watch Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein as they play out all new adventures in the weirdly wonderful world of Portlandia. Stay tuned for a sneak peek at our new animated series Out There starring the vocal talents of Fred Armisen, Linda Cardellini, Karen Mullaly and more.

Saturday

Spend Saturday in the strange world of “Dark Floors” a.k.a. the most expensive Finnish horror movie ever made. Made by Lordi, which is basically Finland’s answer to Gwar, dressing up in rubber monster costumes and churning out hits like “Would You Love a Monsterman?” The band rose to the heavy metal heights of success by winning the Eurovision Song Contest back in 2006 with a then record 292 points. Then, of course, they made a movie, “Dark Floors,” which we are airing today at 12:15 p.m. ET. Praise the Lordi!

Sunday

At 7:30/6:30c, we are walking down the mean streets of Civil War-era Manhattan in Martin Scorsese’s “Gangs of New York.” This rough-and-tumble historical epic stars Leonardo DiCaprio, as a man on a mission to come to New York to avenge his father’s death at the hands of the ruthless Bill ‘The Butcher’ Cutting (Daniel Day-Lewis), a powerful crime boss and corrupt political figure.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
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Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
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Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
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Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
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Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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