DID YOU READ

What to watch this week on IFC: Jan. 7 – Jan. 13

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It’s always a little disappointing that the new year has to be rung in during winter when it’s too cold to go outside. So we’ll celebrate the new year by watching a new season of Portlandia and a bunch of great movies from the warmth of our living rooms.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

Before they put Neo in “The Matrix,” the Wachowskis made “Bound,” which airs tonight at 10:15 p.m. ET. The film stars Gina Gershon as an ex-con who falls for a gangster’s moll (played by Jennifer Tilly). They hatch a scheme to screw over a mobster (Joe Pantoliano) and steal $2 million from the Mafia. It doesn’t go so well, but that wouldn’t make for a very exciting movie then would it? Tune in tonight!

Tuesday

In “Big Top Pee-wee,” which is more nof a companion piece than a true sequel to “Pee-wee’s Big Advernture,” our beloved hero Pee-wee Herman becomes a farmer with a talking pig (voiced by Wayne White) and a slightly insufferable fiancee (Penelope Ann Miller). His simple yet somewhat boring life gets a sudden jolt of excitement when an entire traveling circus plops onto his land, courtesy of a tornado. It’s all uphill from there. Tune in at 10:15 p.m. ET to see for yourself.

Wednesday

You’ll be glad it’s Wednesday, when you watch a double dose Friday the 13th starting at 8/7c. Up first we get to watch teens (Melanie Kinnaman, Shavar Ross) turn the tables (and the chain saws) on someone wearing slasher Jason’s hockey mask in “Friday the 13th: A New Beginning” at 8/7c. Stay tuned for “Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives,” which is pretty self-explanatory. The terror starts at 10/9c.

Thursday

There’s nothing wrong with your Thursday that a little Snake Plissken can’t fix. Tune in to John Carpenter’s “Escape from L.A.” at 10/9c to watch Kurt Russell reprise his one-eyed role from “Escape from New York” as he takes down a religious fanatic totalitarian president with the help of some of his friends including Bruce Campbell, Pam Grier and Steve Buscemi in memorable roles.

Friday

A new episode of Portlandia’s third season starts at 10/9c. Watch Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein as they play out all new adventures in the weirdly wonderful world of Portlandia. Stay tuned for a sneak peek at our new animated series Out There starring the vocal talents of Fred Armisen, Linda Cardellini, Karen Mullaly and more.

Saturday

Spend Saturday in the strange world of “Dark Floors” a.k.a. the most expensive Finnish horror movie ever made. Made by Lordi, which is basically Finland’s answer to Gwar, dressing up in rubber monster costumes and churning out hits like “Would You Love a Monsterman?” The band rose to the heavy metal heights of success by winning the Eurovision Song Contest back in 2006 with a then record 292 points. Then, of course, they made a movie, “Dark Floors,” which we are airing today at 12:15 p.m. ET. Praise the Lordi!

Sunday

At 7:30/6:30c, we are walking down the mean streets of Civil War-era Manhattan in Martin Scorsese’s “Gangs of New York.” This rough-and-tumble historical epic stars Leonardo DiCaprio, as a man on a mission to come to New York to avenge his father’s death at the hands of the ruthless Bill ‘The Butcher’ Cutting (Daniel Day-Lewis), a powerful crime boss and corrupt political figure.

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon.

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number!

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time.

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by.

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo.

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim.

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t?

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?”

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud.

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.