DID YOU READ

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2” leads Razzie nominees

2012, THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING 2

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“The Twilight Saga” has ended its run with a bang. The series is up for 11 nominations this year — for the Razzies, that is. “Breaking Dawn — Part 2” leads the pack of other Razzie nominees, which include “Battleship,” “That’s My Boy” and “Atlas Shrugged: Part II.”

What is there to say about “The Twilight Saga” that hasn’t already been said? Well, the fact that it’s up for at least one nomination in each of the Razzies’ 10 awards categories. That means it’s up for Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Actress, Worst Actor, Worst Supporting Actress, Worst Supporting Actor, Worst Screen Ensemble, Worst Screenplay, Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel and two Worst Screen Couple awards — one for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, and one for Taylor Lautner and Mackenzie Foy. If Lautner and Foy don’t win, there’s no justice in the world.

The Razzies committee describes “Breaking Dawn — Part 2” as “the ultimate installment of the inexplicably successful series focuses on Shirtless Werewolf Jacob and his creepy relationship with the daughter of Sparkly Vampire Edward and Gloomy Goth Gal Bella. Together, the four face a final showdown that will determine the fate of Romantic-But-Boring Monsters everywhere.”

Here’s the full list of nominees:

Worst Picture
“Battleship”
The Oogieloves in Big Balloon Adventure”
“That’s My Boy”
“A Thousand Words”
“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II”

Worst Director
Sean Anders – “That’s My Boy”
Peter Berg – “Battleship”
Bill Condon – “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II”
Tyler Perry – “Good Deeds” / “Madea’s Witness Protection”
John Putch – “Atlas Shrugged: Part II”

Worst Actress
Katherine Heigl – “One for the Money”
Milla Jovovich – “Resident Evil: Retribution”
Tyler Perry – “Madea’s Witness Protection”
Kristen Stewart – “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II” / “Snow White and the Huntsman”
Barbra Streisand – “The Guilt Trip”

Worst Actor
Nicolas Cage – “Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance” /” Seeking Justice”
Eddie Murphy – “A Thousand Words”
Robert Pattinson – “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II”
Tyler Perry – “Alex Cross / Good Deeds”
Adam Sandler – “That’s My Boy”

Worst Supporting Actress
Jessica Biel – “Playing For Keeps / Total Recall”
Brooklyn Decker – “Battleship / What to Expect When You’re Expecting”
Ashley Greene – “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II”
Jennifer Lopez – “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”
Rihanna – “Battleship”

Worst Supporting Actor
David Hasselhoff – “Pirannha 3-DD”
Taylor Lautner – “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II”
Liam Neeson – “Battleship / Wrath of the Titans”
Nick Swardson – “That’s My Boy”
Vanilla Ice – “That’s My Boy”

Worst Screen Ensemble
“Battleship”
“The Oogieloves in Big Balloon Adventure”
“That’s My Boy”
“The Twilight Saga: Eclipsed Part II”
“Madea’s Witness Protection”

Worst Screenplay
“Atlas Shrugged Part II”
“Battleship”
“That’s My Boy”
“A Thousand Words”
“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II”

Worst Remake, Rip-Off, or Sequel
“Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance”
“Pirannha 3-DD”
“Red Dawn”
“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II”
“Madea’s Witness Protection”

Worst Screen Couple
Any two cast members from “Jersey Shore” in “The Three Stooges”
Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II”
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II”
Tyler Perry and his drag in “Madea’s Witness Protection”
Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester, or Susan Sarandon in “That’s My Boy”

Who do you think should win? Tell us in the comments section below or on Facebook and Twitter.

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

car notes note

This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Dark Arts

Foot Fetish Jesus And Other Nightmares

Meet the minds behind Comedy Crib's latest series, Quirks and The Mirror.

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The Mirror and Quirks are really, really strange. Deeply disturbing yet hauntingly beautiful. But you really don’t need to read a synopsis of either of the aforementioned shows to understand the exact variety of nightmare-bonkers comedy these shows deliver — that’s why the good lord made links. Instead, take a peek behind the curtain and meet the creators.

Quirks

Let’s start with Kevin Tosi. Kevin does the whole show by himself. That doesn’t mean he’s a loner — Kevin has a day job with actual humans. But that day job is copywriting. So it’s only natural that his suppressed demons would manifest themselves in biting cartoon form, including “Foot Fetish Jesus”, in ways that somehow speak to all of us. If only all copywriters channeled their inner f*ckedupness into such…expressive art.

The Mirror

Onward to the folks at Wham City Comedy.

These guys aren’t your typical comedy collective in that their work is way more left-field and even elevated than your standard digital short. More funny weird than funny ha-ha. They’ve done collaborations with musicians like Beach House, Dan Deacon & Wye Oak, television networks (obviously), and others. Yeah they get paid, but their motivation feels deeper. Darker. Most of them are video artists, and that explains a lot.

See more of The Mirror and Quirks on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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