DID YOU READ

What to watch on IFC: November 12-18

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If you still have an election hangover or are just anxiously biding time until Thanksgiving we have all the movies you’re going to need to help get you through. From “The Spirit” to “Edward Scissorhands” to “Transporter 3” we have something for everyone.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

Start the week out right by staring deep into the limpid pools of Nicolas Cage’s eyes. We’re showing “Lord of War” at 8/7c and you can make eyes at Cage as he plays an arms dealer who is trying to stay one step ahead of his business rival while being pursued by a relentless Interpol agent (Ethan Hawke) who is determined to track him down. No wonder those eyes look so so sad.

Tuesday

We all know that Tuesday is just another Monday in disguise, but we have just the cure: A double dose of Jason Statham. Starting at 8/7c we have back to back showings of the “Transporter 3” where you can watch Statham reprise his role as Frank Martin the in-demand driver for those who just can’t work with Fed Ex.

Wednesday

It’s the end of the world as the Mayans know it, and they don’t feel fine at all. We’re showing “Apocalypto” at 8/7c and as the end of the Mayan civilization draws near, a man makes a desperate bid to escape being a human sacrifice and return to his family and the woman he loves.

Thursday

We’re showing “The Spirit” at 8/7c. Watch as Denny Colt (Gabriel Macht) a highly decorated cop who was gunned down on the job is resurrected as The Spirit, a masked crimefighter sporting a startling red tie and a superhuman resistance to pain and injury. He faces off against a villain known as the Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson) in this adaptation of Will Eisner’s comic.

Friday

Tim Burton’s “Edward Scissorhands” airs tonight at 10:30/9:30c. Johnny Depp stars as a deceased inventor’s (Vincent Price in his last role) unfinished creation with scissors for hands and pasty pallor. When the Avon lady comes calling, Edward becomes an instant celebrity when the cheery suburbanite (Dianne Wiest) brings him home.

Saturday

Kiera Knightley stars as a teenage soccer player in “Bend It Like Beckham” at 5:30PM/4:30c. The movie focuses on Parminder Nagra as an Anglo-Indian teenager who just wants to kick a soccer ball and joins a soccer team despite the fact that her tradition-minded parents are opposed to it.

Sunday

Spend your Sunday laughing when we show back-to-back episodes of Bunk, our hilarious game show where the winner is the comedian-contestant who makes the audience –or at least host Kurt Braunohler– laugh the loudest. The fun and games start at 10:15 a.m./9:15CT.

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

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This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Dark Arts

Foot Fetish Jesus And Other Nightmares

Meet the minds behind Comedy Crib's latest series, Quirks and The Mirror.

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The Mirror and Quirks are really, really strange. Deeply disturbing yet hauntingly beautiful. But you really don’t need to read a synopsis of either of the aforementioned shows to understand the exact variety of nightmare-bonkers comedy these shows deliver — that’s why the good lord made links. Instead, take a peek behind the curtain and meet the creators.

Quirks

Let’s start with Kevin Tosi. Kevin does the whole show by himself. That doesn’t mean he’s a loner — Kevin has a day job with actual humans. But that day job is copywriting. So it’s only natural that his suppressed demons would manifest themselves in biting cartoon form, including “Foot Fetish Jesus”, in ways that somehow speak to all of us. If only all copywriters channeled their inner f*ckedupness into such…expressive art.

The Mirror

Onward to the folks at Wham City Comedy.

These guys aren’t your typical comedy collective in that their work is way more left-field and even elevated than your standard digital short. More funny weird than funny ha-ha. They’ve done collaborations with musicians like Beach House, Dan Deacon & Wye Oak, television networks (obviously), and others. Yeah they get paid, but their motivation feels deeper. Darker. Most of them are video artists, and that explains a lot.

See more of The Mirror and Quirks on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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