DID YOU READ

What to watch on IFC: November 12-18

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If you still have an election hangover or are just anxiously biding time until Thanksgiving we have all the movies you’re going to need to help get you through. From “The Spirit” to “Edward Scissorhands” to “Transporter 3” we have something for everyone.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

Start the week out right by staring deep into the limpid pools of Nicolas Cage’s eyes. We’re showing “Lord of War” at 8/7c and you can make eyes at Cage as he plays an arms dealer who is trying to stay one step ahead of his business rival while being pursued by a relentless Interpol agent (Ethan Hawke) who is determined to track him down. No wonder those eyes look so so sad.

Tuesday

We all know that Tuesday is just another Monday in disguise, but we have just the cure: A double dose of Jason Statham. Starting at 8/7c we have back to back showings of the “Transporter 3” where you can watch Statham reprise his role as Frank Martin the in-demand driver for those who just can’t work with Fed Ex.

Wednesday

It’s the end of the world as the Mayans know it, and they don’t feel fine at all. We’re showing “Apocalypto” at 8/7c and as the end of the Mayan civilization draws near, a man makes a desperate bid to escape being a human sacrifice and return to his family and the woman he loves.

Thursday

We’re showing “The Spirit” at 8/7c. Watch as Denny Colt (Gabriel Macht) a highly decorated cop who was gunned down on the job is resurrected as The Spirit, a masked crimefighter sporting a startling red tie and a superhuman resistance to pain and injury. He faces off against a villain known as the Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson) in this adaptation of Will Eisner’s comic.

Friday

Tim Burton’s “Edward Scissorhands” airs tonight at 10:30/9:30c. Johnny Depp stars as a deceased inventor’s (Vincent Price in his last role) unfinished creation with scissors for hands and pasty pallor. When the Avon lady comes calling, Edward becomes an instant celebrity when the cheery suburbanite (Dianne Wiest) brings him home.

Saturday

Kiera Knightley stars as a teenage soccer player in “Bend It Like Beckham” at 5:30PM/4:30c. The movie focuses on Parminder Nagra as an Anglo-Indian teenager who just wants to kick a soccer ball and joins a soccer team despite the fact that her tradition-minded parents are opposed to it.

Sunday

Spend your Sunday laughing when we show back-to-back episodes of Bunk, our hilarious game show where the winner is the comedian-contestant who makes the audience –or at least host Kurt Braunohler– laugh the loudest. The fun and games start at 10:15 a.m./9:15CT.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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