The thing with “Strangeland,”which we’re showing tonight at 8/7c, is that in many ways, it’s a cautionary tale warning of the dangers of online chatrooms. Sure nowadays everyone knows that any ten-year old girl in a chatroom is probably an undercover FBI agent waiting to play Catch the Predator and that if you accept the offer of a free at-home massage on Craig’s List you’re just begging to star in the next installment of a made for TV movie about serial killers, but back when the internet first started pumping through it’s pipes and tubes, people were innocent. That’s where “Strangeland” came in like the scariest afterschool special ever.
In the movie, teenagers Genevieve (Freaks & Geeks’ Linda Cardellini) and Tiana (Amat Rhoe) make some friends on the internet and soon are invited to attend a party hosted by someone who goes by the screen name “Captain Howdy.” Luckily none of you would fall for that, because being pop culturally savvy you would recognize “Captain Howdy” as the evil demon in “The Exorcist.” Unfortunately the girls haven’t watched nearly enough movies and naturally the “party” ends up being a trap to lure them into a world of torture and “body art” that would give pause to even Jigsaw of the “Saw” movies. Genevieve’s father, local cop Mike Gage (Kevin Gage), is soon on the case and tracks down the culprit, a severe schizophrenic named Carleton Hendricks (Dee Snider). However, Hendricks’ subsequent arrest and “rehabilitation” ends up being only the beginning of an even bigger nightmare, spurned on by the lynching tactics of the neighborhood’s most enraged father, Jackson Roth (Robert Englund a.k.a. Freddie Krueger). Snider, who stars as the friendly neighborhood psycho, also wrote the screenplay. But those in the know know that Dee Snider is the frontman for ’80s hair metal band Twisted Sister, and that’s all the excuse we need to get our hair metal on.
Here are the five best Twisted Sister videos with special appearances by Bobcat Goldthwait and Peewee Herman:
5. “Leader of the Pack”
4. “I Wanna Rock”
3. “We’re Not Gonna Take It”
2. “Be Chrool to Your Scuel”
1. “Burn in Hell”
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“Strangeland” airs on IFC tonight at 8/7c; Friday, Nov. 2 at 11:45 PM ET; Tuesday, Nov. 20 at 8:00 PM ET; Tuesday, Nov. 20 at 11:30 PM ET; Thursday, Nov. 29 at 9:00 PM ET; Thursday, Nov. 29 at 10:45 PM ET
This week on an all-new Benders, Paul (Andrew Schulz) decides it’s time to renounce beer and give the sober life a whirl. There’s a first time for everything, right? And if it gives him a chance to one up Anthony (Chris Distefano) in a new hockey division, that’s even better. Meanwhile, Karen (Lindsey Broad) hosts a book club and it goes about as well as you’d expect. Who knew book clubs don’t have keggers? See what unfolds this Thursday, October 15th, starting at 10P.
Then on Gigi Does It, everyone’s new favorite bubby decides it’s time to tackle her body image issues. And what better way than to volunteer to pose nude for a local art class? Brace yourself for Gigi’s inner (and outer) beauty Thursday at 10:30P.
Finally, Jurassic World and Married star Judy Greer stops by Comedy Bang! Bang!to show off the unique auditioning skills that have helped her to score roles in every movie and TV show. Plus, Kid Cudi gets into a hockey rivalry. Maybe a Benders crossover is in his future? Find out by tuning into Comedy Bang! Bang! in its NEW TIME SLOT, Thursday at 11P
On tonight’s Gigi Does It, everyone’s favorite yenta gets her drink on at a wine tasting. As the episode shows us, it is possible to have a nice drink with friends without too many tears. Here are five ways to get ready for tonight’s wine-soaked Gigi Does It before it airs at 10:30P ET/PT on IFC.
1. Learn the proper wine tasting etiquette.
There’s nothing more fun than tasting some fine wine with friends. Just be sure to learn the spitting versus swallowing etiquette.
2. Keep the conversation light.
When chatting with friends over a nice relaxing glass of wine, it’s important to keep things light. Unless you’re Ricky and the very sight of alcohol brings up years of repressed childhood trauma.
3. Support your wasted pals.
Tonight on Gigi Does It, Gigi steps in for her drunken pal Tretchy during an important speech. Gigi truly is a Dionne Warwick song come to life.
3. Hire a makeup crew for all your party selfie needs.
Not everyone can wake up and walk out the door looking their best. So be like Gigi Does It star David Krumholtz and assemble a team of professional makeup artists to give you the attention to bald cap blending and neck fold realism that you deserve.
4. Get some “hot takes” for cocktail hour.
In today’s post-Twitter world, one doesn’t have time to hear “hot take” on the latest trends beyond 140 characters. As such, it’s important to condense your incredulous rants on everything from Trump on SNL to healthy eating into bite-sized, Andy Rooney-esque tidbits. Watch the video above to hear Gigi’s take on Trump’s “cotton candy hair” and get some talking points for your next cocktail party.
5. Crack open Gigi’s book with a nice Chardonnay.
Like most seniors, Gigi knows how little appreciation grandparents receive from their grandkids. Which is why the saucy old broad penned a children’s book reminding today’s youth to call their grandmother. Pop open a bottle of your favorite tasty beverage and give it a read.
Circle the day on your calendar and mark your sundial, because Portlandia is returning to IFC for its sixth season on Thursday, January 21st at 10P ET/PT for ten all-new episodes.
In season six, Fred and Carrie embark on all new Portland-based adventures, including inadvertently creating a ramen noodle monster that wreaks havoc on the city.
Other things to look forward to this season: Doug and Claire break up, only to wind up frustrated by a way-younger party girl and an overly caring feminist, respectively. Dave and Kath decide to run a marathon that takes place the following day. Fred turns grey overnight and, in seeking answers from the universe, gets sucked into a black hole. Kyle MacLachlan, reprising his role as the Mayor, tries to lure a tech company to Portland and also puts the moves on Carrie with a canister of frozen sperm from his office refrigerator.
Guest stars coming to Portlandia this season include Jillian Bell (Workaholics), Louis C.K. (Louie), musician Wayne Coyne and The Flaming Lips, rocker Glenn Danzig, Gregory Gourdet (Top Chef), Mitchell Hurwitz (Arrested Development), Moshe Kasher (Another Period), Zoe Kravitz (Dope, Mad Max), John Levenstein (Kroll Show), NPR’s Kai Ryssdal, Alia Shawkat (Arrested Development), Robert Smigel (Saturday Night Live), and Bitsie Tulloch (rimm).
Returning guest stars include Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire), Natasha Lyonne (Orange Is the New Black), and Kumail Nanjiani (Silicon Valley). Be sure to catch Seasons 1-5 of Portlandia on iTunes and Netflix and check back here for more announcements before the season six premiere on January 21st.
A great Halloween episode is like terrific fan fiction. Our beloved characters are thrust into a spooky predicament beyond their normal scope of storylines while wearing garish outfits and fearing for their lives. The annual tradition on-screen is a reflection of the holiday’s appeal in real life: A chance to see the familiar skew towards the garish and macabre.
Fun, scary, and memorable, here are the 10 best Halloween episodes of all time.
10. That ’70s Show, “Halloween”
The siren song of an abandoned building on Halloween lures the That ’70s Show gang to their burned-out grammar school where they discover their old permanent records. Secrets and backstories are revealed, such as Jackie’s middle name, Kelso’s real age, and an act of vandalism committed by a 7-year-old Eric which followed Hyde around his entire life.
9. Freaks and Geeks, “Tricks and Treats”
Expertly capturing the dilemma of kids too old to trick-or-treat but too young for drunken holiday revelry (legally, at least), Freaks and Geeks brings us back to the youthful pursuit of making the most out of Halloween. Wannabe freak Lindsay opts for petty vandalism while Sam and his geeky pals are humiliated by their costumed rounds through the neighborhood. On the plus side, Bill makes a very stately Bionic Woman.
8. Quantum Leap, “The Boogieman”
Leaping into a horror writer’s life in 1964, Sam plays detective as the people around him start dying, Al’s not quite himself, and a goat keeps appearing. The grisly plot culminates to a legitimately unsettling climax that’s as scary as it is funny (seriously, it’s hard to describe) and we find out the neighborhood boy goes on to become somebody very familiar.
7. Cheers, “Bar Wars V: The Final Judgement”
On Halloween, the bar’s longtime rivalry with Gary’s Olde Towne Tavern is curiously called off when Gary reveals his heart can’t take it — literally. But Sam, not buying the medical diagnosis, stages an elaborate (and in reality, logistically impossible) prank involving Carla’s holographic head that may have caused Gary to kick the bucket. (There’s a humorous callback to this episode in the following season’s “Bar Wars” episode.)
6. Amazing Stories, “Mummy Daddy”
Over a decade before Wes Craven upended horror movie tropes with Scream, this episode of the tragically short-lived Steven Spielberg-produced anthology series blurs the line between myth and Hollywood when an actor playing a mummy is pursued by (and mistaken for) an actual mummy. Pure pulp fun if only for the image of a mummy riding horseback.
5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Fear, Itself”
Mixing a little Scarecrow villainry into the Whedonverse, this episode has Buffy and the gang attending a Halloween frat party where a demon that feeds on fear subjects everyone to their greatest nightmares. A delightful writing exercise that exposes each character’s weaknesses and doubts, “Fear, Itself” is prime Buffy entertainment.
4. MacGyver, “Halloween Knights”
Less of an episode of television than a convergence of all things great, MacGyver is coerced into joining forces with longtime nemesis and super-assassin Murdoc when his former hitman employers kidnap his sister and threaten to execute her at a posh Halloween party. Complete with a booby-trapped funhouse and thinly veiled references to Raiders of the Lost Ark, this is hands down one of the greatest episodes from the series.
3. Roseanne, “BOO!”
Kicking off an annual tradition of Halloween with the Conners, “BOO!” from season two of Roseanne showcases the family’s obsession with the holiday and the lengths to which they celebrate it. For a family just scraping by and the viewers who watch them, it’s a cathartic outlet and an excuse to let freak flags fly. And from the first holiday go-around, it’s instantly clear the show will do it again and again.
2. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, “Who Got Dee Pregnant?”
Narrowly edging out season eight’s stellar, McPoyle-infested “Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre,” season six’s “Who Got Dee Pregnant?” represents the very best of the Paddy’s Pub crew. Dee reveals she’s pregnant and the gang engage in drunken flashbacks Rashomon-style to determine who the father could be. Featuring the sexual exploits of the always-awesome Artemis, as well as Frank dressed as the canon-busting Man-Spider, “Who Got Dee Pregnant?” is top-notch.
1. The Simpsons, “Treehouse of Horror V”
Picking your favorite child would be far easier than picking your favorite Simpsons Halloween special — though they tend to be earlier seasons, don’t they? However, “Treehouse of Horror V” from season six is simply too fantastic to be topped. Between the classic Shining parody, Homer’s time-traveling advice from his father on his wedding night, and Groundskeeper Willie constantly getting an axe in the back, you can’t find a better way to ring in October 31st than this half hour.