DID YOU READ

As you prepare for Trapped in the Closet, here are ten great sing-along flicks

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When you think about musical movies, your mind generally tends to gravitate towards Disney cartoons and Peabo Bryson – or at least mine does – but musical doesn’t have to mean the films that glaze your eyes over because children want to watch them over and over and over again. In fact, they can be crazy, twisted affairs with hookers, transvestites, race cars, demons, murder, and man-eating monsters. So let’s take a look at ten great sing-along movies that don’t necessarily cater to the kiddies.

And when you’re finished reading, don’t forget to mark your calendars for this Friday at 9/8c, when IFC is airing all-new chapters from R. Kelly’s legendary hip-hopera Trapped in the Closet.


1. “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”

Of course, we have to start here, with the gloriously schlocky and deviant 1975 classic that boasts the longest theatrical run in history that endures to this day. From “Science Fiction Double Feature” to “Sweet Transvestite,” it remains the epitome of the midnight movie, and has a unique element of audience participation that’s been the key to its longevity. What other show can you go to that encourages you to throw toast and toilet paper around the room? That, and Tim Curry’s there’s-no-other-word-for-it-but-delicious performance as Dr. Frank N. Furter, the glamorously mad scientist determined to create himself a beautifully sexy Charles Atlas kind of man for carnal pleasures, much to the chagrin of the straight-laced Brad Majors and Janet Weiss. (See also: The First Nudie Musical)


2. “Grease”

You can’t leave this 1978 staple film about 1950s Americana out, either. John Travolta’s Danny Zuko and Olivia Newton-John’s Sandy Olsen gave us chills and were electrifyin’, and you have to love any movie where the moral of the story is that you shouldn’t be afraid to slut it up a bit to prove your love to a guy who’s been squarin’ it up for you. Then there’s the whole Kenickie/Rizzo knock-up scare that puts this firmly into reasonably-mature audience territory – although, truth be told, “Greased Lightning” is where some of us first learned a goodly number of dirty words. (See also: Hairspray and, if you must, Grease 2)


3. “The Muppet Movie”

Hey, there are certainly monsters and weirdos here! Well, okay, you can argue that Jim Henson’s wonderful 1979 film was indeed geared towards kids, but the appeal of The Muppets goes far beyond that, especially when you consider how underrated Henson was as a songwriter. Whether it’s Kermit and Fozzie driving cross country and singing the infectious “Movin’ Right Along,” or Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem busting out “Can You Picture That?” – you can’t help but get a bouncy little feeling of joy and laughter in your soul. And I defy you to not have feelings upon feelings whenever you listen to that quiet banjo accompanying the ballad of a frog with big dreams and bigger questions called “Rainbow Connection.” (See also: The Muppets)


4. “Little Shop of Horrors”

This one’s wild – Frank Oz of Muppet fame directing a 1986 film based on a 1982 musical based on a 1960 Roger Corman movie that featured one of Jack Nicholson’s earliest roles (one that would be filled by Bill Murray in Oz’s version). That Muppet pedigree was certainly necessary when creating a massive man-eating plant that can sing and dance while Rick Moranis’ put-upon Seymour Krelborn tries to find a way to feed its gruesome appetites. The love of his life, Ellen Greene’s Audrey, is mixed up with a nasty piece of dental work played brilliantly by Steve Martin, and his masochistic cruelty makes him the perfect victim for Audrey II, the Mean Green Mother From Outer Space.


5. “Repo: The Genetic Opera”

There are elements of both Rocky Horror and Little Shop in this 2008 goth-rock opera, but it’s got a much darker tone than either of those films. Darren Smith and Terry Zdunich composed and wrote the play the movie sprang from, and Zdunich appears as the GraveRobber – our pseudo-narrator through this futuristic world where Anthony Head is a repossessor of organs (an idea that would be ripped off in the 2010 dud Repo Men) who is trying to protect his daughter (Alexa Vega) from the harsh realities of the world in twisted ways. This underseen effort also absolutely qualifies as the most interesting thing Paris Hilton has ever done in her life. (See also: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street and, for more Head, “Once More, With Feeling,” the Buffy The Vampire Slayer musical episode – and, while we’re at it, Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog)

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SAG Life

Rappers Act Up

Watch the Yo! IFC Acts Movie Marathon Memorial Day Weekend.

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Photo Credit: Courtesy of the Everett Collection and the '90s)

Memorial Day weekend: how to celebrate? Nothing quite says “screw spring—let’s do summer” like blockbuster movies starring rappers who ditched lucrative music careers in order to become actors. It happened a lot, remember? Especially in and around the ’90s. Will Smith, Eminem, Ice Cube, Ice-T, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris…icons with the hubris to try the silver screen instead and have it totally work out.

But what if more rappers had made the leap? That’s a rhetorical question—movies (and life) would’ve been better, obviously. To prove it, here are some movies that totally would’ve been more memorable with rappers.

The Godfather

Starring Biggie, not Brando.
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Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Only Coolio could improve upon Gene Wilder’s performance.
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Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Billy Elliot, with a dose of Missy Elliott.
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Robin Hood: Price of Thieves

Low hanging fruit, Hollywood.
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And of course…

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See NONE of those movies and a whole bunch of real ones this Memorial Day weekend on IFC’s rapper-filled movie marathon.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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