The above statement is the opening line of a press release Paramount Pictures sent out confirming that the Internet has won. After a report had come out last month claiming Michael Bay and Mark Wahlberg were working together on a project that likely was “Transformers 4,” the Internet finally became excited about the new “Transformers” movie. But Bay quickly squashed that hope in a statement on his website where he said he and Wahlberg were working on a project together after “Pain and Gain” that wasn’t “Transformers 4.”
Well, that didn’t last long. Over the course of one week, Bay changed his mind and posted another statement claiming the excitement over Wahlberg’s admittedly false casting had the two men reconsidering their stance.
“I squashed a rumor that was on the internet last week. It was about Mark Walhberg. Mark was rumored to be staring in ‘Transformers 4.’ We are working on another movie together, not ‘T4,'” Bay wrote. “I had such a great time working with Mark on “Pain and Gain,” and he gave such a great performance – well let’s say that very internet chatter gave me some ideas. We are at the inception of our story process right now on ‘T4.’ Let’s say some ideas are gaining traction with me and my writer – so I’m here to say thanks internet chatter.”
That was a week ago. Now Wahlberg is confirmed as an actor in the movie. So, yes, thank you Internet chatter.
“Mark is awesome. We had a blast working on ‘Pain and Gain’ and I’m so fired up to be back working with him. An actor of his caliber is the perfect guy to re-invigorate the franchise and carry on the Transformers’ legacy,” Bay said in the release.
“Transformers 4″ is set to hit theaters on June 29, 2014. It will reportedly take place in the future and head to space. We’ll keep you posted on all the new details as they come out.
Do you think Wahlberg is a good fit for “Transformers 4″? Tell us in the comments section below or on Facebook and Twitter.
Listen up, widows and widowers: It’s time to stop your sulking! Whip up a beta blocker-and-Metamucil cocktail and hit the club, because it’s time for you to get back out there. But if it’s been awhile since you hit the dating scene, don’t fret. Tonight’s season finale of Gigi Does It at 10:30P ET/PT will guide you in the ways of modern love. Here are five ways to get ready for tonight’s episode and be a hellcat at your next senior singles mixer.
1. Maintain personal boundaries.
Courting rituals have changed quite a bit since the Eisenhower era, with physical relationships starting way before marriage. But no matter how much of a superfreak you are in the sack, don’t let anyone else tell you when you’re ready to show off those skills. Though right after the desert course might not be the best time to propose a public tryst, lest you end up on the receiving end of a drink to the face like Leonard here.
2. Cast a wide net.
As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea — so why not peruse the market before settling on a catch? Attend a speed dating event and let first impressions do all the work. You deserve a break. And it’s a great opportunity to show off your singing voice and/or share some cat stories.
3. Hide any inappropriate body art.
A first date might not be the best time to reveal your ink or your get-rich-quick scheme. That’s more of a third date thing.
4. Let Gigi keep you up-to-date with the latest trends in vulgarity.
Loose lips may sink ships, but no one wants an old fuddy duddy as a first mate. It’s time to undo that truss and check out this Gigi clip which removes the bleeps and blurs for a NSFW look at the foul-mouthed granny in action.
5. Remember: You’re a grandparent first and a lover second.
Rather than let casual sex rule her life, Gigi knows that being a grandparent trumps a roll in the hay every time. But do those nasty urchins appreciate their bubbes? As a little reminder, Gigi penned a children’s book that puts guilt back into grammar school literature. Give it a read here.
Get ready to get rowdy when Tenacious D’s Festival Supreme returns to Los Angeles for a third face-melting-ly awesome year.
The line-up is a who’s who of comedy and music talent with Amy Poehler, Die Antwoord, Aubrey Plaza, The Darkness, Kristen Schaal, Dan Deacon, Jenny Slate, Andrew W.K., Kyle Mooney, Dan Harmon, Nathan Fielder, and many more all performing. Of course, The D will be doing a mellow jazz set. Just kidding — they’re going to pummel the masses with the force of rock.
If that roster isn’t enough to convince you to go buy tickets right this second, there’s also a Kids In The Hall get-together with cast members Dave Foley, Bruce McCulloch, Kevin McDonald, Mark McKinney, and Scott Thompson. Oh, and in case one cult comedy reunion wasn’t enough, the original cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000 will also be appearing.
The one-day comedy festival will be held on Saturday, October 10th at Los Angeles, California’s Shrine Expo Hall & Grounds. Tickets are $99 (a limited number are available at the discounted price of $75) for the whole day, and are on sale now. Special $250 VIP tickets are also available. Be sure to follow us on Twitter for more updates, and check out the awesome poster below. We’ll see you there!
Depp Gets Real
10 Times Johnny Depp Was Great Without Makeup
Catch IFC's Nightmare on Elm Street movie marathon Friday, November 20th starting at 6P ET/PT.
Ever since Johnny Depp reached teen idol status as a pretty boy cop on the late ’80s TV show 21 Jump Street, he’s made a career of seeking out film roles that he could disappear into. In most of his career-defining films — like Edward Scissorhands, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and the Pirates of Caribbean series — Depp has proven to be one quirky chameleon. For his fans that may have forgotten what he actually looks and sounds like, here are 10 times Johnny Depp was great without makeup.
10. A Nightmare on Elm Street
Depp was one of the sleep-deprived teens in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, and his character isn’t remembered for rocking a half shirt or being sufficiently freaked out by Freddy. Depp, who played the boyfriend to Heather Langenkamp’s Nancy, is remembered for being killed in glorious, horror film fashion. As Freddy’s glove springs through his bed, Depp awakens to get sucked in before blood shoots out at the ceiling like a geyser. Depp played a part in one of the greatest moments from the Nightmare on Elm Street series, except for once the other guy in the scene was buried underneath makeup.
In another pre-21 Jump Street role before he became a household name, a young Depp was cast as “Gator” Lerner, one of the members of the platoon in Oliver Stone’s Vietnam War classic. In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-him role, which Stone cut down to be even smaller, Depp proved he could blend into an ensemble. It was one of the few times a Johnny Depp performance could be described as “subtle.”
8. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
After wowing audiences by believably portraying an outsider with scissors for hands and a knack for landscaping in Edward Scissorhands, Depp began a string of acclaimed dramatic roles in the early ’90s. Unlike quirkfests like Benny & Joon and Don Juan DeMarco, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape allowed Depp to play a relatable, not-so-out-of-the-ordinary twentysomething meandering through everyday life. In a movie where Leonardo DiCaprio received the lion’s share of the acclaim for his quirky portrayal of the always dirty, mentally challenged Arnie Grape, Depp gave a noteworthy, understated performance in the titular role that sets the tone for this highly likeable film.
7. Donnie Brasco
In this acclaimed crime thriller, Johnny Depp had his own undercover cop Serpico role that pitted him against the legendary Al Pacino in some highly charged dramatic moments. Depp’s character is based on the real life Joe Pistone, an undercover FBI agent who infiltrates the Mob. If you’re going to be playing someone who learns the ropes of the gangster life, you can’t do better than Pacino, and the duo have genuine chemistry. Depp’s Donnie Brasco battles his own conscience and allegiances as he loses himself in the Mafia world.
As Jason Segel’s character in I Love You Man said, it’s hard to argue that the cinematic bon bon Chocolat is “just delightful.” There’s a sweet (pun intended) tone to this adult fairytale of a film, and both Depp and Juliette Binoche play off each other well. Their flirty scenes fit the sweetness that Binoche’s chocolate shop begins to bring to the repressed French town she arrives in with her daughter. In Chocolat, Depp puts on the European charm as a suave traveler who falls for the effortlessly beautiful Binoche and for once he doesn’t chew scenery like so much delicious chocolate, er, “chocolat.”
5. Secret Window
In Secret Window, which is based on a Stephen King novella, all Johnny Depp plays a disturbed writer holed up in a remote cabin. Like Misery, Secret Window has the brand of psychological thrills that we’ve come to expect from King. Depp’s Mort Rainey is accosted by a stranger, played by John Turturro, who claims he stole his manuscript. It is Turturro who plays it creepy with the over-the-top accent, but by the end of this thriller the audience is taken on a ride into Depp’s own madness. Secret Window is classic King, and proof that Depp is due for a return to psychological horror.
4. Dead Man
Depp gives an understated performance in Jim Jarmusch’s moody Western where for once he’s the one reacting to the quirky characters. (It’s hard to be the “head quirk” in a film boasting cameos from Crispin Glover, Iggy Pop and Billy Bob Thornton.) An underrated film in Depp’s canon, and a good showcase for his deadpan comedic timing.
3. Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Once Upon a Time in Mexico is the final movie in the Robert Rodriguez-directed El Mariachi trilogy, and it lives up to the over-the-top action, gunfire and general baddassery of its predecessors. Johnny Depp’s CIA agent character Sheldon Sands steals every scene he’s in, creating one of his funniest and most likeably devious performances. You can’t take your eyes off of Depp, as his character becomes more entertaining after losing his.
2. Ed Wood
Even Depp’s most hardcore detractors have to admit that he gave one his funniest and richest performances as Z-movie director Ed Wood. In one of his least mannered and overtly “quirky” collaborations with director Tim Burton, Depp puts his stamp on a real person without creating an over-the-top caricature. His scenes with Martin Landau, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of horror icon Bela Lugosi, are some of the best work Depp has done in his long career.
1. Finding Neverland
After his comically on-point role in Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Depp brilliantly took on as opposite a part as he could the following year, portraying famed Scottish author and playwright J.M. Barrie in this acclaimed drama. If you’re looking for the definitive great Depp performance where he’s not relying on make-up or a cartoonish wig to help bring his character to life, you’ve found it. (Even his Scottish accent is understated here.) Depp seamlessly embodies the Peter Pan creator with childlike imagination, as he forms a bond with Kate Winslet’s Sylvia Llewelyn Davies and her four sons. The chemistry between Depp and Freddie Highmore, as the real life Peter, is so heartwarming, even Captain’s Hook and Sparrow would get emotional in the scene where the two sit on a bench as Barrie comforts the boy after the loss of his mother.
With the Uncle Chubbys boys throwing a wild party for Karen and Paul this week on the season finale of Benders, we thought we’d pay tribute to the biggest and most badass parties ever thrown on the big screen. Which parties would you die to go to? Which ones are you most likely to die at from going to? Before you catch the Benders finale tonight at 10P ET/PT, check out our list of the craziest parties to ever grace the silver screen.
10. Bachelor Party
Name the last party you went to attended by Tom Hanks AND a literal high horse. And if you can, kudos.
9. Animal House
Hey, does anyone want to hear me play gui—Ah, Bluto, what the hell??!!
8. Old School
Kegs, a hot DJ, random streaking…the Old School party has it all. We’re betting Frank never made it to Bed, Bath and Beyond, though.
7. Revenge of the Nerds
Ain’t no party like a nerd party, particularly when “Thriller” starts playing. Don’t forget the “Wonder Joints.”
6. Boogie Nights
If you ever find yourself at a party filled with ’70s adult film stars, remember to put a towel down.
5. House Party
If you’re wondering what the ’90s were like, watch any of the House Party movies. They were like this.
4. Can’t Hardly Wait
This party is like an uncut blast of ever ’90s high school movie. When the kid from Hook is bringing down the house with an epic lip sync performance of “Paradise City,” you know it’s a good party.
3. Weird Science
Mutants, missiles and Kelly LeBrock. Whatever you do, don’t tell Chet!
2. Real Genius
Val Kilmer knew the one secret to a kick-ass party. In a word, lasers!
1. Risky Business
Before there was Xenu, there were hookers. High school would never be the same.