DID YOU READ

Five iconic Indiana Jones scenes, in honor of the new Blu-ray release

Harrison Ford in Raiders of the Lost Ark

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One of the Holy Grails (pun totally intended) of the films-not-yet-on-Blu-ray finally makes its high definition debut this week as “Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures” hits the format in one of the year’s most impressive Blu-ray collections. If you’ve been an Indy fan your whole life and you think you’ve seen these films at their most stunningly beautiful, you’re in for a treat as this Blu-ray set blows away every previous home entertainment release of the series.

Look no further than the jaw-dropping colors of “Temple of Doom” and gorgeous the sweeping vistas of “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” Indy’s never looked so good. Add in hours of quality bonus material and “Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures” becomes one of the must-have releases of the year. Not only that, but its Blu-ray release also gives us an excuse to run down five of the most iconic (and five of our favorite) Indy scenes of all time. You won’t find any Crystal Skulls in this list though… We’re sticking with the original trilogy!


Why Did It Have to be Snakes from “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981)

If there’s anything that nearly everybody knows about Indiana Jones, it’s that the man hates snakes. And no, we don’t mean that he just dislikes them. Indy absolutely hates snakes. He loathes them in a way that most people loathe going to the dentist. Just Indy’s luck, then, that he’s thrust into the Well of Souls with little more than a whip and a prayer before landing dead center into a virtual pool of writhing, hissing serpents. When Indy falls flat on his stomach and comes face to face with a cobra ready to strike, the audience finally gets to feel the very same way Jones feels just before he enters the Well of Souls: “Why did it have to be snakes?”


A Ride in the Mines from “Temple of Doom” (1984)

After nearly all of Mola Ram’s Thuggee goons, it looks like Indy, Willie, and Short Round are finally going to make their escape from the temple in a mine cart. Happily ever after, right? Wrong. Not only is this crazy, roller coaster ride through the temple one of the scariest moments in the film, it’s also one of the most exhilarating and memorable chase scenes in the entire series. The score, the fast-paced action, and the point of view shots make you feel like you’re actually in the cart riding along with the trio as they battle more Thuggee henchman on their rocky ride to freedom. The mine cart ride is one of the hold-your-breath moments in the Indiana Jones series that makes watching them such a joy even more than twenty years since their theatrical release.


Leap of Faith & The 3 Challenges from “The Last Crusade” (1989)

The stakes have likely never been higher for Indy than they are at the conclusion to “The Last Crusade.” With his father dying on the floor of the Canyon of the Crescent Moon, Indiana Jones must use the notes in his father’s diary to navigate the deadly traps en route to finding the Holy Grail – the one thing that can save Henry. The sequence of events is one of the most memorable in all of Indy’s adventures not only because of the innovative effects used in the traps themselves, but also because Harrison Ford is just so damn endearing. If you’ve seen “The Last Crusade” more than once and you don’t feel a little queasy and take a deep breath right before the Leap of Faith (just like Indy) does, there’s something wrong with you.


Flaming Heart Excision from “Temple of Doom” (1984)

I’m sure I’ll probably hear it from the hardcore Indy fans on this one, but I just have to say it: Mola Ram is my favorite villain in the entire series. His dynamic look, crazy voodoo ways, and the fact that he can literally hold a flaming, beating human heart in his creeptastic hands beats out every faceless Nazi we’ve seen in the series before (and after). Plus, the guy has a stronghold on the child labor in his temple and has them pounding on rocks all day to look for his precious stones. He’s evil to the core and there’s no better Mola Ram scene than the one where he rips out some poor soul’s heart with his bare hands and holds it high above his head until it erupts in flames. Sure, it’s a sacrifice for the Hindu goddess Kali, but I just call it stone cold villainy at its very best.


Opening the Ark from “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981)

If there’s a more iconic scene in all four of the Indian Jones film than the opening of the Ark of the Covenant, I’d love to hear what it is. Yes, there are plenty of awesome Indy moments, but this absolutely classic scene actually has Indy and Marion Ravenwood tied to a stake and holding their eyes shut for nearly the entire thing. It’s a testament to both the power of their relationship and their performances that we feel so much tension with them barely moving. And let’s not forget that this iconic scene also involves ghostly spirits flying from the Ark, lightning bolts zooming through Nazi soldiers, and (the coup de grâce) melting Nazi faces! All while Indy and Marion survive the ceremony by something as simple as keeping their eyes closed. Which just goes to show you that Indy always knows what to do.


“Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures” is available on Blu-ray now. If you want to get a peek at one of the bonus features from the collection, we’ve included a clip below.

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. 

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number! 

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time. 

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by. 

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo. 

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim. 

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t? 

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?” 

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud. 

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.