DID YOU READ

Adapt This: “Unknown Soldier” by Joshua Dysart & Alberto Ponticelli

unknown soldier

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With Hollywood turning more of its attention to the world of graphic novels for inspiration, I’ll cast the spotlight on a cool comic book each week that has the potential to pack a theater or keep you glued to your television screens. At the end of some “Adapt This” columns, you’ll also find thoughts from various comic creators and other industry experts about the books they’d like to see make the jump from page to screen.


This Week’s Book: Unknown Soldier by Joshua Dysart & Alberto Ponticelli (Vertigo)

The Premise: After fleeing war-ravaged Northern Uganda when he was seven years old, Dr. Lwanga Moses returns years later on a humanitarian mission, only to find himself caught up in the atrocities committed by the savage Lord’s Resistance Army in their guerilla war against the Ugandan government. When his first encounter with the LRA sends him into a violent rage that leaves one child soldier dead and his own face scarred beyond recognition, he discovers that there’s something lurking deep within him that’s not only comfortable amid the violence around him, but thrives on it. Struggling to reconcile the difference between the peaceful man he was and the ruthless killer he’s becoming, Lwanga begins to think that his bandaged alter ego might be exactly what his enemies deserve.

The Pitch: The first volume of this bloody, brutal series by Joshua Dysart and Alberto Ponticelli didn’t skimp on the reality checks, and offered a terrifying look at the savage, real-world war currently being waged in Northern Uganda and the surrounding African territories. A big-screen adaptation of the series — or its first volume, at least — would need to be similarly unflinching if it’s going to be effective.

The war in and around Uganda has served as the setting for a number of films in recent years, including “Machine Gun Preacher” (based on the real-life story of Sam Childers, an American who operates an orphanage in South Sudan). And though Unknown Soldier is a fictional story, Dysart’s meticulous research and the unique spin he puts on the character make it stand out from the crowd with a tone that’s significantly more gritty and raw than much of what’s been seen on the screen.

To that end, a movie based on Unknown Soldier certainly wouldn’t be aimed at the typical comic book movie audience, though Dysart does give the title character a preternatural, Jason Bourne-like knack for military strategy and combat techniques. If the war in Uganda did give birth to a superhero, it’s not hard to believe that the scarred — both physically and psychologically — result is the Unknown Soldier.

Casting Suggestions: It’s easy to name-drop Denzel Washington as a fantastic choice for the role of Lwanga Moses, given the gritty, violent characters he’s played to perfection in films like “Man On Fire” and “Training Day,” but Hollywood isn’t likely to provide a Denzel-level paycheck for a project as grim, gritty, and decidedly non-mainstream as an “Unknown Soldier” movie. A better option might be someone like “Gladiator” actor Djimon Hounsou, who’s no stranger to violent subject matter and brutal action sequences, but hasn’t found the right project yet to feature him front and center. Up-and-coming actor Anthony Mackie also seems like a nice fit for the role, having established himself with gritty dramas like the “The Hurt Locker.”


Would “Unknown Soldier” make a good movie? Chime in below or on Facebook or Twitter.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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