DID YOU READ

Adapt This: “Unknown Soldier” by Joshua Dysart & Alberto Ponticelli

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With Hollywood turning more of its attention to the world of graphic novels for inspiration, I’ll cast the spotlight on a cool comic book each week that has the potential to pack a theater or keep you glued to your television screens. At the end of some “Adapt This” columns, you’ll also find thoughts from various comic creators and other industry experts about the books they’d like to see make the jump from page to screen.


This Week’s Book: Unknown Soldier by Joshua Dysart & Alberto Ponticelli (Vertigo)

The Premise: After fleeing war-ravaged Northern Uganda when he was seven years old, Dr. Lwanga Moses returns years later on a humanitarian mission, only to find himself caught up in the atrocities committed by the savage Lord’s Resistance Army in their guerilla war against the Ugandan government. When his first encounter with the LRA sends him into a violent rage that leaves one child soldier dead and his own face scarred beyond recognition, he discovers that there’s something lurking deep within him that’s not only comfortable amid the violence around him, but thrives on it. Struggling to reconcile the difference between the peaceful man he was and the ruthless killer he’s becoming, Lwanga begins to think that his bandaged alter ego might be exactly what his enemies deserve.

The Pitch: The first volume of this bloody, brutal series by Joshua Dysart and Alberto Ponticelli didn’t skimp on the reality checks, and offered a terrifying look at the savage, real-world war currently being waged in Northern Uganda and the surrounding African territories. A big-screen adaptation of the series — or its first volume, at least — would need to be similarly unflinching if it’s going to be effective.

The war in and around Uganda has served as the setting for a number of films in recent years, including “Machine Gun Preacher” (based on the real-life story of Sam Childers, an American who operates an orphanage in South Sudan). And though Unknown Soldier is a fictional story, Dysart’s meticulous research and the unique spin he puts on the character make it stand out from the crowd with a tone that’s significantly more gritty and raw than much of what’s been seen on the screen.

To that end, a movie based on Unknown Soldier certainly wouldn’t be aimed at the typical comic book movie audience, though Dysart does give the title character a preternatural, Jason Bourne-like knack for military strategy and combat techniques. If the war in Uganda did give birth to a superhero, it’s not hard to believe that the scarred — both physically and psychologically — result is the Unknown Soldier.

Casting Suggestions: It’s easy to name-drop Denzel Washington as a fantastic choice for the role of Lwanga Moses, given the gritty, violent characters he’s played to perfection in films like “Man On Fire” and “Training Day,” but Hollywood isn’t likely to provide a Denzel-level paycheck for a project as grim, gritty, and decidedly non-mainstream as an “Unknown Soldier” movie. A better option might be someone like “Gladiator” actor Djimon Hounsou, who’s no stranger to violent subject matter and brutal action sequences, but hasn’t found the right project yet to feature him front and center. Up-and-coming actor Anthony Mackie also seems like a nice fit for the role, having established himself with gritty dramas like the “The Hurt Locker.”


Would “Unknown Soldier” make a good movie? Chime in below or on Facebook or Twitter.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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