DID YOU READ

What to watch this week on IFC: August 20-26

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Hate to tell you this, but summer’s almost over. You better spend as much time as possible inside in the air conditioning before your guilty eco-conscience makes you turn it off.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson star in
“National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon,” which is most definitely not “Lethal Weapon” and don’t you forget it. Would “Lethal Weapon” have a plot where a policewoman’s replacement continues her work on a cocaine-cookie scandal? Well, they might have, but they didn’t. The 1993 classic comedy airs tonight at 8 p.m. ET.

Tuesday

We’re hanging up garlic and whittling stakes all day long before “Shadow of the Vampire” airs at 8 p.m. ET. In 1922, F.W. Murnau’s haunting Nosferatu was released starring an unknown actor named Max Schreck as Count Orloff, the vampire. Eighty years later, E. Elias Merhige directed a film imagining the goings on behind the making of that film. John Malkovich stars as director F.W. Murnau who craves realism to the extent that he casts a real vampire as his star. (Top that, Dogme 95.) Willem Dafoe’s Max Schreck is about as far as you can get from Robert Pattinson’s Edward Cullen. To be clear, Max Schreck does not sparkle. He is rat-like, batty, slithery, and cold and Willem Dafoe owns him.

Wednesday

At 8/7c we’re airing William Freidkin’s classic tale of true terror “The Exorcist” starring Ellen Burstyn as an actress with a small problem: Her once-adorable 12-year old daughter Reagan (Linda Blair) is possessed. She has no choice but to call upon her friendly neighborhood Jesuit priests to try to end the demonic possession. Watch the trailer and remember the terror. If that’s not enough terror for you, stay tuned for “Saw II” at 10: 15 p.m. ET. In which a detective (Donnie Wahlberg) races against time to save his son from a sadistic madman (Tobin Bell) holding a group of people captive.

Thursday

“The Beach” is no summer rom com, but instead offers a hipster take on “Lord of the Flies.” As anyone who has read the book knows, paradise isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The film stars Leonardo DiCaprio as a young backpacker in Thailand who is handed the map to paradise — a secret secluded island that (almost) no one knows about — in director Danny Boyle’s adaptation of novelist (and later screenwriter) Alex Garland’s book. But the island is filled with both beauty and danger and after a few weeks off of the grid, the residents find themselves lost in a sea of sickness, sexual tension, and shark attacks. It’s a hippie thriller set to a techno beat. See for yourself when “The Beach” airs at 10/9c.

Friday

Even though the first rule of “Fight Club” is not to talk about Fight Club, and the second rule of fight club is don’t talk about fight club, we can’t help but tell the world that we’re showing it tonight at 8/7c. We didn’t really want to be in a fight club anyway, but we do want to watch on though. Yeah, yeah, we like to watch …movies.

Saturday

There’s no better way to spend Sunday than with a triple feature of Rambo. Up first at 8 p.m. ET we have “Rambo”, where beloved Vietnam veteran John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) calls upon his long-buried but lethal skills to rescue a missionary (Julie Benz) and her comrades from the Burmese army. At 9:45p.m. ET we have, “Rambo: First Blood Part II” where the former Green Beret goes on a reconnaissance mission to spring MIAs from a Viet Cong prison. Last, but certainly not least we have “Rambo III” at 11:45 p.m. ET. In this installment of the Rambo saga, the loner Rambo leaves a Buddhist monastery to free his Green Beret mentor (Richard Crenna) from Soviets in Afghanistan.

Sunday

At 10:15 p.m. ET we’re showing “Full Metal Jacket”“>“Full Metal Jacket” marked Stanley Kubrick’s return to filmmaking after a seven-year hiatus. Based on Gustav Hasford’s novel “The Short Timers,” the film crystallizes the experience of the Vietnam War by concentrating on a group of raw Marine volunteers played by Matthew Modine, Adam Baldwin, and Vincent D’Onofrio endure basic training under a sadistic drill sergeant and fight in the 1968 Tet offensive. After meeting Sgt. Hartman (R. Lee Ermey, a real-life drill instructor whose performance is one of the most terrifyingly realistic on record) you’re boss will look great on Monday morning.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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