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The five most kick-ass R. Lee Ermey movie roles

R Lee Ermy in Full Metal Jacket

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If there’s a character actor on the planet that’s better at yelling loudly at people onscreen than R. Lee Ermey, I’d be very surprised. The retired United States Marine Corps Drill Instructor-turned actor has been around for a long time and has racked up some of the most easily recognizable performances in cinematic history. In honor of Ermey’s most famous role (as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman) in Stanley Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket” hitting Blu-ray this week in a fabulous 25th Anniversary Digibook Collection, we decided to run down the actor’s top five greatest, and most memorable, performances. Company…. Halt!


“Willard” (2003)

Glen Morgan’s 2003 re-imagining of the 1971 rat-loving film “Willard” is easily one of the most underrated horror films of the last decade. A true slow burn of a film, “Willard” boasts amazing performances by the ultra-creepy Crispin Glover, R. Lee Ermey, Laura Elena Harring, and hundreds of rats both real and CGI. And while Glover’s offbeat performance as the eccentric outsider tasked with taking care of his sickly, cantankerous mother is often praised as the film’s greatest asset (and for good reason), R. Lee Ermey’s turn as Willard’s jerk of a boss is nearly as impressive. If there’s anything that Ermey does well, it’s berate people, humiliate them, and play up the mean old crank in his characters, and Frank Martin is no exception. By the time he eventually bites it, at the hands of many an angry rat, the audience is thrilled to see him go. It’s a testament to Ermey’s performance that he not only effectively gets under the skin of his fellow characters, but he also drives the audience equally as mad. Bonus points goes to “Willard” for an ingenious and absolutely perfect use of Michael Jackson’s classic song “Ben.”


“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (2003)

Nobody really wanted to give Marcus Nispel and Michael Bay’s remake of Tobe Hooper’s horror classic “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” a shot, and I don’t really blame them. The 1974 original is a seminal film in the genre and one that is nearly possible to replicate. What audiences didn’t count on, however, was that Nispel’s vision would actually be pretty interesting. His version of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” might not be the original, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s a fun re-imagining of the film and one that stands on its own pretty well. And much of that success is due to R. Lee Ermey’s turn as the no-nonsense Sheriff Hoyt. He’s loud, angry, and obnoxious but he’s also one of the highlights of the film. Ermey makes the character evil to the core and, again, it’s a relief when he’s finally dispatched (this time via the hulking mass of a car being driven over his body repeatedly).


“Toy Story” Series (1995, 1999, 2010)

And so we come to the softer side of R. Lee Ermey. Since the film “Toy Story” film in 1995 until the most recent entry in the series hit theaters in 2010, Ermey has played the leader of the plastic Army men, Sarge, to perfection. It’s not nearly the biggest part in a huge ensemble of excellent voice actors (the Army men don’t exactly have a ton of screen time in the series), but it’s a memorable one that helped introduce the grizzled voice of the character actor to a whole new generation of kids raised on Pixar awesomeness. Imagine an extremely toned-down version of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman and you’ll have a good idea of what Ermey is doing here. Fun stuff.


“Se7en” (1995)

Probably one of the most overlooked roles in Ermey’s illustrious career is that of the police captain in David Fincher’s 1995 hit “Se7en.” Ermey takes the limited role and makes it his own in a way that only R. Lee Ermey could do. The captain is quick-witted, impatient, and smarmy in a way that’s completely unique and captivating. He’s a no-nonsense guy that doesn’t want to deal with all the B.S. and just wants to close his cases – something that neither Mills (Brad Pitt) nor Somerset (Morgan Freeman) are making easy for him. Ermey’s role in “Se7en” is another one of those character actor parts that might make audiences say, “Hey, I know that guy! He’s that guy from that movie!” but it’s also an important one that’s help make the Fincher thriller a classic.


“Full Metal Jacket” (1987)

R. Lee Ermey’s role as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Stanley Kubrick’s 1987 film “Full Metal Jacket” is easily the actor’s (and, I would argue, cinema’s) most memorable characters. The foul-mouthed, sharp-tongued Marine is the piece of the puzzle that keeps the first half of Kubrick’s film together and has become so ubiquitous in pop culture that it’s been parodied, copied, and even turned into an Internet meme numerous times. What is perhaps most amazing in all of this, however, is the fact that Ermey wasn’t even supposed to play the drill instructor role when Kubrick was first putting together his classic. He was simply a technical advisor on the film until the legendary director heard the actor going on a drill instructor tirade and knew he was perfect for Hartman. So impressed, Kubrick even relinquished some of his storied control of the product by letting Ermey write and ad-lib much of his own dialogue. We’d say it worked. Ermey’s scenes in “Full Metal Jacket” are some of the most recognizable in cinematic history.


What’s your favorite R. Lee Ermey movie role? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter.

 

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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