DID YOU READ

Heavy Metal and Horror

Rob Zombie on stage

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Heavy metal and horror movies go together like blood and gore. Both genres revel in shocking and violent imagery. Alice Cooper, who has been doing hard rock for decades, pre-dating metal, always incorporated elements of horror – guillotines, snakes – into his act. Metallica’s lead guitarist Kirk Hammett, a longtime horror fanatic, hosted Kirk’s Crypt at Metallica’s recent Orion festival.  Rob Zombie, through his successful, sanguinary films, has become something of an Ingmar Bergman of the rocksploitation genre; he is an auteur du splatter-cinema, if you will. Zombie is a writer, director and producer of gore – and he knows his audience very well. The self-proclaimed “Hellbilly,” according to The-Numbers, has average grosses of $29 million for films under his directorship. Over the 2007 Labor Day weekend, Zombie’s update of the moribund Halloween franchise drew record crowds – earning $30.6 million – for the Weinstein Company and MGM. Zombie’s fan base was made for horror, and, being a smart businessman, he leveraged his niche market of young men into a nice nest egg.

The term “heavy metal” itself came from counterculture writer William Burroughs’ novel The Soft Machine, published in 1962. Six years later, in 1968, Steppenwolf sang the magic, incendiary lyrics, “I like smoke and lightning/ heavy metal thunder.” The rest was history. Hair bands notwithstanding, the hyper-masculinity of heavy metal – in lyrics and in imagery — lends itself perfectly to the horror genre, where life is reduced to Darwinian survival and we are all just animated meattrying to avoid the occasional ice pick.

If metal and horror go back a long way, it wasn’t really until the Presidency of Ronald Reagan that the genre achieved full-blooded – pun intended — maturity. The obligatory cameo appearances by Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne, with their 80s hair, were a staple of that decade of greed. In the 1980s, the Golden Age of Metal (as well as of horror), it was almost mandatory for a slasher flic to have a heavy metal soundtrack as well as a music video drenched in blood. Excess, in everything, was the 80s. “In the taxonomy of popular music, heavy metal is a major subspecies of hard-rock – the breed with less syncopation, less blues, more showmanship and more brute force,” John Pareles of the New York Times famously described heavy metal in 1988. One could almost say the same thing with minor alterations in language about horror films — a subspecies of the thriller, perhaps, with less attention to narrative and character, more jump cuts, more brute force.

The 80s were, in short, an age of leather, gunpowder and – how could it be otherwise? — extended guitar solos. Punk, thrash and even glam metal scores were all the rage. The legendary Return of the Living Dead, released in 1985 with a solid punk rock score, did $14 million at the box office on a measly $4 million budget. In 1986, the aforementioned Alice Cooper – arguably more “hard rock” than hard core metal – scored much of Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives. One year later, in 1987, hair metal band Dokken, not to be left out, did the memorable theme for Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors (the only thing, incidentally, memorable about that movie). And in The Gate  (also 1987; also unmemorable), the cursed LP of the band SACRIFIX played backwards opens the gates to the underworld. Under the influence of Republican Presidents some of the best horror films of all time were created.

“Heavy metal and horror have a share a storied history,” writes Lauren Wise in the Phoenix New Sun’s Metal Mondays column. “Both are extreme, the kind of platforms that appeal to the misfits and the adventurous. The dual art forms have indirectly and directly influenced each other drastically over the decades.” Both also have cathartic value, as any young man could tell you. Listening to death metal, to the darker elements of hard rock, acts as a purge to negative emotions. So much the better for our civilization that we have such release valves in place.

Finally, as the staff of Slate stated in an interesting piece titled The Greatest Horror Films of the Aughts, “That the halcyon days of horror are directly proportional to the index of actual human suffering.” One cannot fail to note, in closing, that most of the films mentioned in that post were done under the Presidency of George W. Bush, not unlike the Golden Age of Horror, which occurred under Reagan’s watch. Coincidence? Just saying.


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Grow TFU

Adulting Like You Mean It

Commuters makes its debut on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Jared Warner, Nick Ciavarella, and Tim Dean were once a part of Murderfist, a group of comedy writers, actors, producers, parents, and reluctant adults. Together with InstaMiniSeries’s Nikki Borges, they’re making their IFC Comedy Crib debut with the refreshingly-honest and joyfully-hilarious Commuters. The webseries follows thirtysomethings Harris and Olivia as they brave the waters of true adulthood, and it’s right on point.

Jared, Nick, Nikki and Tim were kind enough to answer a few questions about Commuters for us. Here’s a snippet of that conversation…

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IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Nick: Two 30-somethings leave the Brooklyn life behind, and move to the New Jersey suburbs in a forced attempt to “grow up.” But they soon find out they’ve got a long way to go to get to where they want to be.

IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jared: It’s a show about how f*cking stupid people who think they are smart can be.

IFC: What’s your origin story? When did you all meet and how long have you been working together?

Jared: Nick, Tim, and I were all in the sketch group Murderfist since, what, like 2004? God. Anyway, Tim and Nick left the group to pursue other frivolous things, like children and careers, but we all enjoyed writing together and kept at it. We were always more interested in storytelling than sketch comedy lends itself to, which led to our webseries Jared Posts A Personal. That was a show about being in your 20s and embracing the chaos of being young in the city. Commuters is the counterpoint, i guess. Our director Adam worked at Borders (~THE PAST!!~) with Tim, came out to a Murderfist show once, and we’ve kept him imprisoned ever since.

IFC: What was the genesis of Commuters?

Tim: Jared had an idea for a series about the more realistic, less romantic aspects of being in a serious relationship.  I moved out of the city to the suburbs and Nick got engaged out in LA.   We sort of combined all of those facets and Commuters was the end result.

IFC: How would Harris describe Olivia?

Jared: Olivia is the smartest, coolest, hottest person in the world, and Harris can’t believe he gets to be with her, even though she does overreact to everything and has no chill. Like seriously, ease up. It doesn’t always have to be ‘a thing.’

IFC: How would Olivia describe Harris?

Nikki:  Harris is smart, confident with a dry sense of humor but he’s also kind of a major chicken shit…. Kind of like if Han Solo and Barney Rubble had a baby.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Nikki:  I think this is the most accurate portrayal of what a modern relationship looks like. Expectations for what your life is ‘supposed to look like’ are confusing and often a let down but when you’re married to your best friend, it’s going to be ok because you will always find a way to make each other laugh.

IFC: Is the exciting life of NYC twentysomethings a sweet dream from which we all must awake, or is it a nightmare that we don’t realize is happening until it’s over?

Tim: Now that i’ve spent time living in the suburbs, helping to raise a two year old, y’all city folk have no fucking clue how great you’ve got it.

Nikki: I think of it similar to how I think about college. There’s a time and age for it to be glorious but no one wants to hang out with that 7th year senior. Luckily, NYC is so multifaceted that you can still have an exciting life here but it doesn’t have to be just what the twentysomethings are doing (thank god).

Jared: New York City is a garbage fire.

See the whole season of Commuters right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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C'mon Fellas

A Man Mansplains To Men

Why Baroness von Sketch Show is a must-see.

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Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to explain something to a woman that she already knows. It happens a lot, but it’s not going to happen here. Ladies, go ahead and skip to the end of this post to watch a free episode of IFC’s latest addition, Baroness von Sketch Show.

However, if you’re a man, you might actually benefit from a good mansplanation. So take a knee, lean in, and absorb the following wisdom.

No Dicks

Baroness von Sketch Show is made entirely by women, therefore this show isn’t focused on men. Can you believe it? I know what you’re thinking: how will we know when to laugh if the jokes aren’t viewed through the dusty lens of the patriarchy? Where are the thinly veiled penis jokes? Am I a bad person? In order: you will, nowhere, and yes.

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Huge Balls

Did you know that there’s more to life than poop jokes, sex jokes, body part jokes? I mean, those things are all really good things, natch, and totally edgy. But Baroness von Sketch Show does something even edgier. It holds up a brutal funhouse mirror to our everyday life. This is a bulls**t world we made, fellas.

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Oh Canada

After you watch the Canadian powerhouses of Baroness von Sketch Show and think to yourself “Dear god, this is so real” and “I’ve gotta talk about this,” do yourself a favor and think a-boot your options: Refrain from sharing your sage wisdom with any woman anywhere (believe us, she gets it). Instead, tell a fellow bro and get the mansplaining out of your system while also spreading the word about a great show.

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Dudes, that’s the deal.
Women, start reading again here:


Check out the preview episode of Baroness von Sketch Show and watch the series premiere August 2 on IFC.

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Happy Tears

Binge Don’t Cringe

Catch up on episodes of Documentary Now! and Portlandia.

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Photo Credit: GIFs via GIPHY

A brain can only take so much.

Every five minutes, all day, every day, ludicrously stressful headlines push our mental limits as we struggle to adapt to a reality that seems increasingly less real. What’s a mind to do when simple denial just isn’t good enough anymore?

Radical suggestion: repeal and replace. And by that we mean take all the bad news that keeps you up at night, press pause, and substitute it with some genuine (not nervous, for a change) laughter. Here are some of the issues on our mind.

Gender Inequality

Feminist bookstore owners by day, still feminist bookstore owners by night, Toni and Candace show the male gaze who’s boss. Learn about their origin story (SPOILER: there’s an epic dance battle) and see what happens when their own brand of empowerment gets out of hand.

Healthcare

From Candace’s heart attack to the rise of the rawvolution, this Portlandia episode proves that healthcare is vital.

Peaceful Protests

Too many online petitions, too little time? Get WOKE with Fred and Carrie when they learn how to protest.

What Could Have Been

Can’t say the name “Clinton” without bursting into tears? Documentary Now!’s masterfully political “The Bunker” sheds a cozy new light on the house that Bill and Hill built. Just pretend you don’t know how the story really ends.

Fake News

A healthy way to break the high-drama news cycle is to switch over to “Dronez”, which has all the thrills of ubiquitous adventure journalism without any of the customary depression.

The more you watch, the better you feel. So get started on past episodes of Documentary Now! and Portlandia right now at IFC.com and the IFC app.

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