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The 10 weirdest Batman moments that Christopher Nolan can’t erase

Batman and Robin

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“The Dark Knight Rises” has solidified Christopher Nolan’s legacy as one of the greatest filmmakers to bring Batman to the big screen, but let’s be honest: over the last 50 years, Gotham’s protector has had more than a few moments that are memorable for all the wrong reasons.

With that in mind – and to temper all of that grim-and-gritty stuff in current trilogy – here are 10 of the strangest moments from Batman’s live-action adventures that Nolan’s films will never be able to wipe from our collective memory.


The Batusi

No other moment encapsulates the camp and silly fun of the 1960s “Batman” television series like the sight of Adam West putting a Batman twist on the hottest go-go dance of the time, the Watusi. First glimpsed during the series’ premiere in 1966, the “Batusi” went on to become a go-go fad of its own, and has become a cultural touchstone of sorts for those familiar with Batman’s light-hearted television years. It’s a scene that will live forever in the hearts of the series’ fans, and live in infamy among those who prefer their Dark Knight a little, well… darker.


That time when the Batmobile drove up a wall

Not only did Joel Schumacher completely redesign the Batmobile in 1995’s “Batman Forever” and leave it looking like, well – let’s just say it made some people blush – but he also added a long list of new features to the Dark Knight’s wheels. Among those features was the ability to drive up walls. Go ahead and read that again, just in case it didn’t sink in. The car drove up walls. We’re not just talking about steep inclines here, people – we’re talking about vertical walls. And it was just as ridiculous as it sounds.


Bat-Suits! Now with more nipples!

One can’t help wondering what former Batman actors Val Kilmer (“Batman Forever”) and George Clooney (“Batman & Robin”) think of Christian Bale’s military-style spin on the Batman costume. Sure, Bale gets a bad-ass suit of kevlar, but those two (as well as Chris O’Donnell’s Robin and Alicia Silverstone’s Batgirl) got costumes with… wait for it… nipples!

Those were truly dark days for the Batman family. Never forget!


“I’ll get drive-thru.”

When the Batman franchise changed hands from Tim Burton to Joel Schumacher, no one knew what to expect from the new guy behind the camera. We got our first indication, though, when an otherwise impressive opening sequence in in 1995’s “Batman Forever” was punctuated by Alfred (Michael Gough) asking Batman (Val Kilmer) if he can be persuaded to take a sandwich with him. Batman’s responds with “I’ll get drive-thu” as he steps into the Batmobile. “Uh-oh,” said every single Batman fan in the world.

In the absence of an actual clip from the “Batman Forever” sequence, here’s the McDonald’s commercial that ended up repurposing the scene:


Poodles love the Remote-Control Batarang

Among all the ridiculous gadgets to appear in the 1990s Batman franchise, the remote-control batarang from “Batman Returns” is one of the most memorable – if only because its fatal flaw was that it could be thwarted by a house pet. Not only did this piece of weaponry from Batman’s workshop look like it was cobbled together from an old video-game controller, but its brief appearance in the film ends with the batarang being ripped out of the air by a poodle. Back to the drawing board, Batman!


Joker dancing to Prince

Nothing says Batman like a funky Prince jam. That was the case in 1989, at least, and while it’s hard to imagine anyone in Christopher Nolan’s Bat-verse getting funky to the musical stylings of the man who gave us “Raspberry Beret,” Jack Nicholson’s Joker pulled it off quite impressively. No matter how grim and gritty Nolan makes Gotham, we’ll always have the image of Nicholson in the Joker’s trademark purple-and-green suit, skipping around a museum and causing all sorts of wonderful havoc.


Shark-Repellent Bat Spray

Batman’s ability to always have the right tool for every situation was never more apparent than in a scene from the 1966 feature-length film based on the campy television series. While hovering over the ocean from the bottom of a rope ladder, Batman is attacked by a shark. After discovering that a few well-placed punches to the underbelly and fins don’t seem to have the desired effect, Batman politely requests that Robin deliver the “Shark Repellent Bat Spray” they conveniently brought along in the Batcopter. Robin makes his way down the ladder, then inexplicably decides to hang upside down from one of the rungs before handing off the bottle to Batman.

Yes, all of this happened. And once you see it, you can never un-see it.


Every line Arnold Schwarzenegger says in “Batman & Robin”

When Arnold Schwarzenegger was cast as Mr. Freeze in 1997’s franchise-ending “Batman & Robin,” we knew now to expect a complicated, nuance-laden performance. But no one expected that his entire role would consist of a series of one-liners that reference his character’s temperature-based theme. From “I’m afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy” to “You’re not sending me to the cooler,” it became apparent early in the film that Mr’ Freeze’s ice gun wasn’t the scariest weapon in his arsenal. His terrible puns cut far, far deeper.


Batman has his own credit card?

Hypnotized by Poison Ivy’s pheromone powder, Batman and Robin compete in a bidding war for the company of the plant-whispering villain played by Uma Thurman. Batman has the last word when he whips out his Batman-themed “GothCard” credit card (“Good Thru Forever”). “Never leave the cave without it,” he remarks, prompting Batman fans all over the world to throw their televisions out the window.


“Chicks love the car.”

Oh, Batman – you’re such a smooth-talker. Wait, what? In one of the most infamous scenes from 1995’s “Batman Forever,” it would appear that Batman (Val Kilmer) forgets that it’s his alter ego who’s supposed to chasing women and not the guy wearing the cape and cowl. After psychologist Chase Meridian (Nicole Kidman) hits on Batman with the alluring line, “A girl can’t live on psychosis alone,” the Dark Knight replies with the oh-so-smooth line, “It’s the car, right? Chicks love the car.”

Seriously.

What is your favorite weird Batman moment? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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