DID YOU READ

The “Bourne” franchise to continue with Jeremy Renner

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With “The Bourne Legacy” hitting theaters in less than a month, there’s been some debate about whether the franchise will stick with star Jeremy Renner from here on out or return to former leading man Matt Damon. We’ve heard plenty of rumors in recent weeks about Damon and Renner teaming up as Jason Bourne and Aaron Cross in a future “Bourne” movie, but producer Frank Marshall has now set the record straight to say that the series won’t be going back to Damon any time soon.

“We’re gonna follow Jeremy’s character,” Marshall said in a recent interview with ComingSoon.net. “Everything else is wide open. That’s the great thing about this now. The table is set to go any direction we want to. But we will, I’m sure, follow Jeremy and see what happens. Jeremy and Rachel [Weisz].”

Renner must be thrilled to hear that, though he played dumb when ComingSoon broached the question with him during the same junket.

“I’m excited that the architects and the creators behind this whole thing have cleverly left it wide open for fans like myself to wonder what’s going to go on next,” he hedged.

Marshall was singing a different tune when Empire caught up with him last month to talk about the franchise.

“You see there are several different [programs] in the movie with different skill sets. All possibilities are open. My dream is that in the next one we see Matt and Jeremy team up,” he said.

Damon was repeatedly asked about returning to “Bourne” while he was promoting Neill Blomkamp’s “Elysium” at Comic-Con, and ultimately said that if the script was right he would return for a movie in the series.

“I really want to do another one and I think Paul Greengrass does too,” he told ComingSoon. “But I think it’s the same question we’ve had after each one. If we really feel we can do it and that it will deserve to live with the other three that we did. If we can make one where we go into it feeling it can be even better than those, and it ends up being in that same ballpark, then we should do it. But If we can’t, then we really should leave it alone.”

But even he knew Universal Pictures and director Tony Gilroy likely wouldn’t stray from Renner’s path in “The Bourne Legacy” if that film does well.

“I think the movie will be really good,” Damon told E! Online. “Tony [Gilroy] is really smart, he’s a really good writer and a really good director and I’m sure he made a good movie. The question will be if they can franchise that movie, because if they can, then they’ll be done with me. They’ll just keep making those.”

“The Bourne Legacy” is due in theaters on August 10.

Are you disappointed Damon likely won’t return to “Bourne” any time soon? Tell us in the comments section below or on Facebook and Twitter.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show comes to IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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