DID YOU READ

Exclusive premiere: Caveman “Old Friend”

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Beyond the phone call delivered here, by actor Peter Sarsgaard, is another dimension where New York’s Caveman resides in a strange realm envisioned by director Philip Di Fiore. A dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind, that would make “Twilight Zone” creator Rod Serling feel warm all over, but strikes a creepy chord for the rest of us.

One can only imagine the group of 5 to 8 year-old’s, whom this was screen tested with, and the effect it had on them — other than inducing nightmares of a soft spoken late night caller. Di Fiore won’t say exactly, but assures me they were “endlessly valid interpretations of what could be happening.”

“I’ve always been fascinated with the concept of time and various cultures’ theories about time,” Di Fiore said. “In my opinion, it’s not as tidy and linear as popular media or popular culture likes to shape it — the past has a way of holding on, and folding itself into the present. There’s evidence of this all around us, relics of different eras co-existing beautifully with modern styles and technologies.”

 

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This is evidenced in “Old Friend” too where, Di Fiore and his DP have used a vintage black and white tube video camera to get that vintage television look. You would be forgiven if you thought it was found footage or original to the early 60’s, although the reappearance of the woman, actress Penny Lynn White, makes it clear when you see her again later on that it cannot be.

“She carries herself in a very dignified manner, but there’s also some secrets and some pain behind her eyes,” Di Fiore, who gathered everyone at an old house in Claryville, NY for the weekend shoot, said. Lauren Sieckowski, who plays the younger woman, helped spark the ideas for the video on a night out in Brooklyn with Di Fiore. The band’s, Sam Hopkins, plays “the man,” and when he wasn’t stalking the hallways in a fedora, he was in the kitchen cooking for everyone — the cast and crew all stayed in the house for the duration. “The voice” is none other than Peter Sarsgaard, whose boyish charm and devilishly good looks are not in play, leaving only a soft spoken menace.

“Peter Sarsgaard and I have become friends over the past year and it’s great to talk music and film with him,” Di Fiore said. “He’s told me about some fascinating acting techniques that he’s learned over the years and I got to witness some of them when he did the voiceover at my studio. He watched the rough cut down, and without me saying a word, he immediately got the tenor of what we were going for.”

Di Fiore compared Sarsgaard’s timing to, “the phrasing of some of the jazz trumpet players” that the two talk about when they’re hanging out. “I should release the rough cut of the video with my voice in there,” the director joked, “Just so people could see how much Peter blew my attempt out of the water.”

Let us know if you’re in our house, in our parlor, walking up our stairs, in the comments below or on Twitter or Facebook!

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
Brockmire-Strap-On

Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
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Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
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Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
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See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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