DID YOU READ

Bobcat Goldthwait talks possible “Police Academy” cameo and his new zombie fetus comedy

Bobcat Goldthwait on the set of World's Greatest Dad

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By Jennifer Vineyard

Bobcat Goldthwait is totally down for a “Police Academy” cameo in the planned reboot — provided it could provide the same closure that Johnny Depp got from making an appearance in the film “21 Jump Street.”

“Shoot me in the head!” he offered when IFC talked to him about his new film “God Bless America.” “I’m dead, baby! I know people have a soft spot for Zed, so they think it’s weird when I don’t show up for a reunion, but if you have a clever and funny treatment for the character, I’m there. I would probably do it just for the small tiny group of fans who would be into that. It be a nice thing to do that for them.”

Goldthwait said he wouldn’t mind doing a “Police Academy” nod (even though he was only in three out of the seven films) because he has his own work as an independent filmmaker to sustain him now. To follow the recently released “God Bless America,” he’s working on developing a musical, a horror movie, and a …

The musical is based on the 1975 Kinks album “Schoolboys in Disgrace,” but despite previous reports, Jack White is not involved with the music after all. “That would be awesome if he was, but he’s not,” the director said, noting that Ray Davies of the Kinks will be an executive producer on the project.

The story involves a “naughty little schoolboy” who grows up to become the evil Mr. Flash, the villain of the Kinks’ previous albums “Preservation Act I” and “Preservation Act 2,” making “Schoolboys” an origin story and as well as the first installment of a possible trilogy about power and corruption. In the song “The First Time We Fall In Love,” our schoolboy gets together with a schoolgirl, gets her pregnant by “I’m A Disgrace” (“It wasn’t lust, it wasn’t rape/It was just a mistake”), and is punished for it by his pederast headmaster. (In the song “Headmaster,” the lyrics are “Don’t tell my friends I bent over/ Don’t tell them you made my cry/Don’t make me take my trousers down”). After this humiliation, the boy vows to fight back against authority figures and “the establishment.”

Goldthwait described the project as an anti-musical musical.”It’s such a large movie that I can only make this one if I can make it on my own terms,” he said. “I don’t mean that in a cocky way, but it’s just that I’m too old to water down the ideas. And if I can’t make it, I would rather that it didn’t get made.”

While Goldthwait continues to seek financing for that film, he’s prepping to shoot this summer an ’80s-style zombie comedy called “Ankle Biters,” which has a “pro-choice message” and a “don’t ask/don’t tell” theme. It’s set in an abortion clinic when it’s attacked by aborted fetuses which had become zombies — and a gay ex-Marine comes to the rescue. “I’ve been wanting to make a movie with hot dudes ever since ‘300,’” he laughed.”And this might be one of the last zombie genres that hasn’t been done. It’s very gory.”

The movie Goldthwait really wants to make, though, is “One Crazy Autumn,” “if I can get it going,” he said. “I want to get everybody back from ‘One Crazy Summer.’ I want John Cusack’s character to have become this really successful animator, like Pixar-level, but he’s lost his mind and gone all Howard Hughes. So we have to all go back and rescue him from himself. If we can get Savage Steve [Holland] on board, that’s one of the things we need to go back and do.”

Goldthwait turned 50 recently, so he estimates that he has “15-20” more years to make films. “I’ve already had the career where I made a lot of money,” he said, “so I would rather just be writing and making stuff for no other reason than we feel like, ‘Hey, can we do this?’ I want to go out swinging.”

Would you like to see Bobcat make a cameo in the “Police Academy” reboot? Let us know in the comments below.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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